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Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 5:56:56 PM

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A couple of posts in other threads, as well as pre-existing thoughts in my mind, led me to post this.

Does a dominant stop being one if he is not dominating? I mean, if Steven Seagal isn't kicking somebody's ass, does that mean he's no longer a tough guy? Of course not, he still is what he is... isn't he?

If he (the dominant, not Seagal) isn't doing scenes with his submissive......if he isn't issuing orders.......what then?

To me, a dominant or submissive remain what they are even if they aren't "doing it", for lack of a better term. And if the submissive knows what the dominant wants and expects, should she not work to obey and please him without being "run roughshod" over?

This isn't about a dominant "going vanilla", but due to circumstances, finds himself in a very low-energy period. How a would a submissive handle such a situation? For the dominants, have you encountered low energy periods? Inquiring minds want to know....

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 6:10:08 PM

MasterCoyote

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Personally, I think that being Dominant or submissive is a part of what you are. However, to be a Master or a slave, you have to be active.

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 6:13:55 PM

newdombbw

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I'm a pretty "low key" type of Domme but would expect that if I became "low energy", my sub/slave would still perform duties as required with constant prodding or reminders. Just as if my sub/slave become "low energy", I'd look for the reason why - maybe their health? depression? any number of things. They ARE my responsibility.

And besides, if I have to "micromanage" all the time, I'd become exhausted quickly... and it's not my style anyway.

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 6:13:57 PM

MasterFireMaam

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What we do (or don't do, in this case) does not define who we are. Master and Dominant are nouns. Dominate is a verb. You cannot dominate without someone to dominate. You can be a Master/Dominant all on your own.

We all struggle at times. My slave girl has held me as I've balled my eyes out...either in physical pain from a kidney stone or in emotional pain from some hurt. I've done the same for her. My boy has supported me through grief...and I am doing the same for him. Relationships, no matter what kind, are about a give and take. If you've defined your Dominant by his ability to dominate at all times, you'll run into problems.

Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 4/8/2006 6:18:09 PM >

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 6:28:20 PM

Sunshine119

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IMHO, true (I know, I'll be eaten for using this word) dominants are dominants whether they are in bed, sceening or working in the mail room of some corporate office somewhere. They project dominance in life. They cause eyes in the room to turn when they enter. They may not hold a fantastic job somewhere but they do command respect wherever they are. Older ones do usually hold positions of management or are their own business owners. None of the dominants I know are rude or nasty in daily life. Each of them manifests grace under pressure and an unusual ability to always show he/she has manners.

The tops I know just dominate during a sceen and are back to everyday life the next day. There is no "air" about them that causes that instant recognition. Often, I have noticed that they are distinctly different from the natural dominants listed above, most often in the manners department. Tops often just get mad and frustrated when things don't go their way, losing their tempers. These distinctions can often be witnessed on these boards.

And submissives (even when they haven't realized they are such) react dramatically to dominants in vanilla life. They react to the power that they don't even know they recognize and often fall over each other to "help" the dominant.

A dominant is not made, he/she is born. Pretenders don't make the cut though and it is in daily life encounters that one realizes the difference.

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 6:30:56 PM

ScooterTrash

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCoyote

Personally, I think that being Dominant or submissive is a part of what you are. However, to be a Master or a slave, you have to be active.

Couldn't have said it better myself. You would still have that Dominant (or sub) quality, that personality, not only during a less energetic period, but even if you were inactive or away for a while. I agree with MC however that if you are "out of the scene", partnerless, then perhaps Master or slave isn't a justifiable title at the time...IMHO.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 6:56:31 PM

tears4him

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So if i'm reading you right. Because I am single, i'm not a submissive? What I feel isn't submission? What I seek isn't to be dominated? What am I and what am I seeking then, if i'm not a submissive because of being single? If what I am reading is correct from you.

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 7:08:11 PM

Jane2376

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I think the point is that if you aren't actively with a partner you aren't really a 'slave' currently, as that is more a state of being owned or a 'master', as that is a state of owning. You will always be a submissive though.

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 7:11:30 PM

catize

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunshine119
And submissives (even when they haven't realized they are such) react dramatically to dominants in vanilla life. They react to the power that they don't even know they recognize and often fall over each other to "help" the dominant.

OMG, this has to be one of the most ridiculously funny statements I have ever read!
Please do NOT presume to speak for me; I am very dominant in my vanilla life and have never 'fallen over' anyone else in order to be a hand-maiden to a dominant personality in my general vicinity.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 7:16:37 PM

tears4him

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If you say so, but I still see it differently. I still see it as being told you are not who you are if you are not actively submitting or dominating. I personally see it as it doesn't make sense to me. So let's drop the submissive and go back to the Dom/Master or slave. What about the ones claiming to be slaves, or the Dom and Masters. If they're without partners right now, how can they advertise being something they're not because of being without now? It makes no matter if with a partner, or without. A slave will always be a slave and a Master and Dom will always be dominant. They may feel less dominant or less submissive. Taking a break from whatever. But they will always be until the day that say, No More. But then that's just my way of looking at it. <Tears>

_____________________________

I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah blah blah

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 7:16:37 PM

IronBear

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCoyote

Personally, I think that being Dominant or submissive is a part of what you are. However, to be a Master or a slave, you have to be active.

I won’t argue that one Coyote, as long as we agree that you are referring exclusively to M/s Masters and not including Gorean Masters. If you are however, I’d ask you to define “Active”

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 7:24:12 PM

TxBadMan

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quote:

What we do (or don't do, in this case) does not define who we are.

Very wise words right there.

I am a sadist; 24/7, 365 days a year. Just because I don't happen to be 'playing' at any particular time does not negate the fact that I am still a sadist.

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Chris

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 7:31:11 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tears4him

If you say so, but I still see it differently. I still see it as being told you are not who you are if you are not actively submitting or dominating. I personally see it as it doesn't make sense to me. So let's drop the submissive and go back to the Dom/Master or slave. What about the ones claiming to be slaves, or the Dom and Masters. If they're without partners right now, how can they advertise being something they're not because of being without now? It makes no matter if with a partner, or without. A slave will always be a slave and a Master and Dom will always be dominant. They may feel less dominant or less submissive. Taking a break from whatever. But they will always be until the day that say, No More. But then that's just my way of looking at it. <Tears>

The definition of a master is one that "owns" another. If you are not in a relationship, how can you own anyone? It isn't a matter of saying you aren't real or capable.

Same for a slave, defined as 1 : a person held in servitude as the chattel of another
2 : one that is completely subservient to a dominating influence.

(in reply to tears4him)

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 7:34:05 PM

MasterFireMaam

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From: Charleston, WV
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I just don't agree that I'm not a Master if I don't have a slave, or vice versa. I will, conceed, that action is needed, however, to tell what kind of Master I am. I identify as a Master...but in order to be seen to be a good one (or not), interaction has to be observed.

Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 14

RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 7:36:22 PM

Sunshine119

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Joined: 8/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunshine119
And submissives (even when they haven't realized they are such) react dramatically to dominants in vanilla life. They react to the power that they don't even know they recognize and often fall over each other to "help" the dominant.

OMG, this has to be one of the most ridiculously funny statements I have ever read!
Please do NOT presume to speak for me; I am very dominant in my vanilla life and have never 'fallen over' anyone else in order to be a hand-maiden to a dominant personality in my general vicinity.

Catize, I'm very "dominant" in my real life. But there are a few in whom I recognize unspoken power. And, I have noticed that many other very dominant people also work very hard to help their "proteges" along. These proteges tend to be Dominants.

_____________________________

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to catize)

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 7:38:35 PM

ShiftedJewel

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quote:

So if i'm reading you right. Because I am single, i'm not a submissive?

Let me help you out here, ok?

quote:

You would still have that Dominant (or sub) quality, that personality, not only during a less energetic period, but even if you were inactive or away for a while.

Note the word "sub"..... now we go on to the rest of it....

quote:

I agree with MC however that if you are "out of the scene", partnerless, then perhaps Master or slave isn't a justifiable title at the time...IMHO.

Note the word "slave". At no point did he question whether or not one is dominant or submissive during a time when they are single or not looking.... ok? Believe what you like, but at least read it correctly.

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 7:43:39 PM

GirlwithBoots

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I find it interesting how charisma or that "je ne sais quoi" always seems to be described as a Dominant trait and almost a perquisite to being Dom. In life I have met many very effective and knowledgable Dom/mes who were shy or introverted in public situations. Wall flowers even until they were in a scene. I have also met some extraordinarily charismatic and outgoing subs who were very much in charge in their vanilla lives.
I think it's important to not expect people to conform to stereotypes. Indeed that is part of the wonder of this lifestyle, that we are going our own way, not conforming to expectations.

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 7:54:48 PM

ScooterTrash

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tears4him

So if i'm reading you right. Because I am single, i'm not a submissive? What I feel isn't submission? What I seek isn't to be dominated? What am I and what am I seeking then, if i'm not a submissive because of being single? If what I am reading is correct from you.

You read incorrectly, that is NOT what I said at all, quite the contrary. If you are submissive or Dominant that does NOT go away just because outside circumstances change your active role.

< Message edited by ScooterTrash -- 4/8/2006 7:56:27 PM >

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 8:11:45 PM

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Okay......back to the topic *bangs shoe on desk like Kruschev*....worn out dominants LOL.

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RE: Dominant duties? - 4/8/2006 8:19:44 PM

ScooterTrash

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LMAO...OK you may have the floor & who's wore out, I had my nap..ha ha?

As to the original post..YES...a Dominant is still a Dominant even on a bad day when he/she only wants to kick back and take it easy. Same goes for a submissive, well as long as they already brought me a beer (chuckles).

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

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Post #: 20

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