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Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/23/2010 11:00:37 PM

SexySea

Posts: 36
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline

No matter what I do I can't seem to find a man on here who is really who he says he is and is not married or involved. You talk to a (single) guy for two weeks and then he accidently says he has to get offline because his wife just walked in. You can't hide a wife forever.

As for finding a Dom/Master...... I'm starting to give up hope. Why is it so hard to find a man that wants to be served and loved? Holding out for something better than devotion, play and sex?

Post #: 1

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/23/2010 11:06:22 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

have you attended any munches or events? gone out and met people away from the computer? There are many damned good people around, but you have to make the effort to connect with them. email is a tool, much like a hammer when building a house: having a hammer is good, but you need the nails, saws, wood etc to complete it.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to SexySea)

Post #: 2

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 3:56:05 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

I got the last and best good dom on the planet.
There are no more.

Trust your instincts and move to a coffee meet asap. If they're unwilling to meet within a few weeks time then you move on.

_____________________________

(in reply to SexySea)

Post #: 3

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 4:19:47 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

It is difficult to meet honest, sane, compatible people. Even more difficult if you are doing it on-line. On-line dating, although very popular, may not necessarily be the best venue in which to meet a life partner.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 4

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 4:43:16 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

venues in my opinion arent always the best place either. munches are usually full of couples and/or people looking for a play partner - not many that ive been to have a strong Ds following.

sexysea, you just have to keep plugging along, there is no formula to this - the thing is they are out there, dont give up. x

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 5

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 4:46:05 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I got the last and best good dom on the planet.
There are no more.

Trust your instincts and move to a coffee meet asap. If they're unwilling to meet within a few weeks time then you move on.

I'm with Aileen on this - I use the same approach with subs, the genuine ones are as keen to see how real I am as I am them.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 6

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 4:52:50 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

The good Doms have probably gone to the same place as all the good slaves have gone to.

They're there, just probably not available to suit your needs.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 7

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 4:55:06 AM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexySea

No matter what I do I can't seem to find a man on here who is really who he says he is and is not married or involved. You talk to a (single) guy for two weeks and then he accidently says he has to get offline because his wife just walked in. You can't hide a wife forever.

As for finding a Dom/Master...... I'm starting to give up hope. Why is it so hard to find a man that wants to be served and loved? Holding out for something better than devotion, play and sex?

Cause all the good ones are gay???

Seriously, just have to weed thru the ones you deem unacceptable until you find the one.

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to SexySea)

Post #: 8

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 6:00:20 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

They've gone to the store for bread. Don't worry. They'll be back.

I want to give you sage wisdom, but in reality... nothing just happens. Get thee out there and MINGLE... be pleasant... take good care of yourself... enjoy your life... be passionately alive... That's fricking hot! and attracts people.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)

Post #: 9

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 6:08:29 AM

PrimalConsonance

Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexySea

No matter what I do I can't seem to find a man on here who is really who he says he is and is not married or involved. You talk to a (single) guy for two weeks and then he accidently says he has to get offline because his wife just walked in. You can't hide a wife forever.

As for finding a Dom/Master...... I'm starting to give up hope. Why is it so hard to find a man that wants to be served and loved? Holding out for something better than devotion, play and sex?

Believe it or not, they are out there, SexySea. They don't have shining beacons within a sea of undesirables, but once in a while, one comes along. They say don't give up, but another thing to keep in mind is not to become jaded while your search is on. Becoming jaded is a poison that clouds the mind when someone good does come along...and what good can come of this? So try to keep an open mind and don't let it get to you in the meantime. You're going to go through a few bad eggs, a lot of asses, but somewhere there is going to be the right one for you. Good luck and keep looking.

_____________________________

AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

(in reply to SexySea)

Post #: 10

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 9:01:42 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I got the last and best good dom on the planet.
There are no more.

Trust your instincts and move to a coffee meet asap. If they're unwilling to meet within a few weeks time then you move on.

You forgot one, tubgirl, but that's okay.....

OP, I won't make any assumptions as to what topics of conversation you're engaging in when you meet them online, but I always stuck to everyday-type conversation rather than sex-talk. If they're willing to engage in non-sex talk, it's a lot more likely they're serious about finding a partner, too. And, if you refuse to engage in sex-talk and they drop out of the conversation, then you know right away. If you have to talk sexy to keep them interested, then that's your sign.

That approach has always worked for me.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 11

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 9:09:12 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

It's difficult to see through someone who is actively trying to deceive you but there's no easy way around the process of gradually getting to know someone. I always try to get to a real life meeting fairly quickly. It weeds out the online only players right away (and lots of these guys are married and only playing around) and you also get a better reading of someone. I think you can get too invested in someone by endless conversations online, I always did. Moving to real life as soon as you feel comfortable has a way of bringing things into a clearer light.

(in reply to SexySea)

Post #: 12

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 9:09:55 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrimalConsonance
Becoming jaded is a poison that clouds the mind when someone good does come along...and what good can come of this?

In my opinion it is WAY worse than that. The good one will never come along if you're jaded and bitter because good healthy people avoid negative energy like that. When I'm reading a profile, the moment I see anything that sounds like, "And all you wannabe posers fuck off!" I don't give a damn what's in the rest of the profile. I don't care if the girl is a 21 year old swimsuit model. Nothing would encourage me to contact that person. Even toned down versions of that same sentiment get wide berth by me.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to PrimalConsonance)

Post #: 13

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 9:24:11 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

call me idealistic, but i believe you find true love and all that good stuff when you're not out there actively pursuing it. it's not job hunting, it's LOVE for goodness' sakes. :)

my advice is to completely get out of the mindset of "looking," and get into the mindset of just living. live, be, focus on being the best you, you can be (geesh i sound like an army commercial, lol). if your true domly love is meant to come, he will come.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 14

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 9:26:58 AM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

A coffee meet isn't a guarantee but it's a start. I met a Dom for coffee who was free Saturday afternoons when his wife and kids had other stuff going on. We ended up friends rather than D/s due to that. A coffee date then dinner out, a movie, etc. Stuff at various times on various days makes it more difficult to hide a wife/partner.

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 15

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 10:01:38 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

leadership527,

quote:

When I'm reading a profile, the moment I see anything that sounds like, "And all you wannabe posers fuck off!" I don't give a damn what's in the rest of the profile. I don't care if the girl is a 21 year old swimsuit model. Nothing would encourage me to contact that person. Even toned down versions of that same sentiment get wide berth by me.

I agree and I dismiss them immediately. I used to have a journal post on my profile addressing that topic. It was a strong suggestion that angry diatribes about fakes and such should be avoided. It rarely reads in the manner they'd hoped.

......................

daddysprop247,

quote:

my advice is to completely get out of the mindset of "looking," and get into the mindset of just living. live, be, focus on being the best you, you can be (geesh i sound like an army commercial, lol). if your true domly love is meant to come, he will come.

You're absolutely correct. That's one of the reasons I stopped. :)

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 16

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 10:41:16 AM

PrimalConsonance

Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrimalConsonance
Becoming jaded is a poison that clouds the mind when someone good does come along...and what good can come of this?

In my opinion it is WAY worse than that. The good one will never come along if you're jaded and bitter because good healthy people avoid negative energy like that. When I'm reading a profile, the moment I see anything that sounds like, "And all you wannabe posers fuck off!" I don't give a damn what's in the rest of the profile. I don't care if the girl is a 21 year old swimsuit model. Nothing would encourage me to contact that person. Even toned down versions of that same sentiment get wide berth by me.

I totally agree with you Leadership, and have seen it all too often. Very sad that this pitfall is so deep and large. The negative energy that comes from this can manifest itself with emotional scaring that sometimes shows itself in the profiles where some really nice submissives at one time, now feel compelled to take on all the asses and wanna-bes with making journal postings exposing them openly. These subs are fed up and are trying to push back against the undesirables, but in the meantime they are also coming off with all this negative energy that tends to push others away (where it ends up making a vicious circular situation, since it can become nearly automatic to only seek out the ones they don't want instead of keeping an open-mind to the potential GOOD ones knocking at their door).

Unfortunately, as much as some of us would like to have the purest of stock here with the best intentions, the policing can't be done by the site or the subscribers. The cow-pies and manure comes with the greenest of grasses in the field, and all you can do is avoid them. Can't fight it really. But taking on all the waste and crap that comes in this field (the various sites), will only leave you in worse condition than when you started. Just better to let it go and avoid the wrong ones...they don't matter. Once sorted, you'll have a better feel for the right ones.

_____________________________

AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 17

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 10:43:21 AM

PrimalConsonance

Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

call me idealistic, but i believe you find true love and all that good stuff when you're not out there actively pursuing it. it's not job hunting, it's LOVE for goodness' sakes. :)

my advice is to completely get out of the mindset of "looking," and get into the mindset of just living. live, be, focus on being the best you, you can be (geesh i sound like an army commercial, lol). if your true domly love is meant to come, he will come.

I agree with you. This is the way we got together, my girl and me. We were not looking and it came to be naturally. We couldn't be more happier.

_____________________________

AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 18

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 10:49:19 AM

EinarEvil

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/4/2010
Status: offline

what I've noticed on here is that sub/slaves limit themselves to a certain age and location, usually local, how many one have you turned down only because he was a little younger or older than yourself? or a little far away, even though nowhere is far away these days, we're in the 21st century

(in reply to PrimalConsonance)

Post #: 19

RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? - 5/24/2010 10:53:31 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

where have all the good doms gone?
long time passin.......
where have all the good doms gone?
long long time ago....
where have all the good doms gone?
slaves sucked their dicks off.....everyone....
When will they ever learn?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_ptqXqjsZw

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to EinarEvil)

Post #: 20

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