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I need to understand...... - 4/8/2006 7:17:09 PM   
kajira4aMaster


Posts: 49
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		I need another Masters perspective on things... Why would a Master just pack up all his stuff (he lived with me) and move out, while I was at work, and not leave a note or call my cell and leave a message?
Does this seem right to you, that a Master would do this?
This slave thanks you for your time,
~ crying kajira girl
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/8/2006 7:24:29 PM   
DelRey


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline 		It don't seem right to me, at least not based on what your saying. There were no warning signs at all ? 

from what your saying it seems rather childish, with that being said there is always two sides to every story.

In any case sorry for your loss and anguish

D. R.

(in reply to kajira4aMaster)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/8/2006 7:32:06 PM   
TxBadMan


Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
Status: offline 		It's impossible to reply to such a question without first hearing the other side. Things of this nature often do not JUST HAPPEN overnight.

_____________________________

Chris



(in reply to kajira4aMaster)
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RE: I need to understand...... - 4/8/2006 7:32:22 PM   
kajira4aMaster


Posts: 49
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		Nope no signs at all... he knew what time I would be leaving the house to go to work. I was supposed to pick him up from work and to make a long story short he wasn't at either of the places he said he would be. When I got home.. everything that was his was gone.

(in reply to DelRey)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/8/2006 7:35:03 PM   
kajira4aMaster


Posts: 49
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		I understand that.. if he would talk to me and tell me why or help me understand his motivation I wouldn't be so upset about it. shoot.. he could even call my voice mail and talk to it if he doesn't want to talk to me directly.

(in reply to TxBadMan)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/8/2006 8:15:24 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline 		How long have the two of you been living together?

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to kajira4aMaster)
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RE: I need to understand...... - 4/8/2006 8:20:52 PM   
ehlovindom


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline 		I think we need to understand a lot more about this realtionship before even trying to offer any insight as to why he would do such a thing. Would you care to elaborate?

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to Tikkiee)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/8/2006 8:21:58 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It's impossible to reply to such a question without first hearing the other side. Things of this nature often do not JUST HAPPEN overnight.


Yeah... they do.  I had a guy I lived with, 25 years ago (almost to this very day!), drop me off at work and that was the last I ever saw him.  When he didn't show up at the end of my shift, I walked home from work only to find he'd cleaned out the apartment, stolen my car, hadn't paid the rent in 2 months so I was evicted, and basically left me stranded and pregnant 1000 miles from home.  There was no warning.  He just up and left.  I went and stayed with one of his friends and the friend's grandmother for about a month, and then the police chaplain in Baytown, TX took up a collection at his church to buy me a bus ticket and sent me back home to my mom.
 
To the OP, all I can say is it has nothing to do with whether or not this guy was a Master.  If he really just up and left without warning, then he's just another jerk.  Don't fret over him.  It hurts now, but do your best to pick yourself up and stand tall.  You deserve better.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to TxBadMan)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/8/2006 8:24:25 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Well .....wether you will ever find out the reason or not..is no longer an issue..he is gone...the reason not withstanding...and as perusual..a woman/sub thinks ..what was it I did wrong..so that hopefully I will never make that mistake again..What I say to this is...why would you think it could be you?..why not him?..looking for the reason will not change the situation..It just is..the understanding you may never get..or if one is supplied will it make the situation easier to handle?..or will it make it even more puzzling?....will it give you the closure you seek?..I doubt it....get angry..get sad..seek your closure within yourself..and then lift your head up and go on..be well...Tempting

(in reply to kajira4aMaster)
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RE: I need to understand...... - 4/8/2006 10:10:37 PM   
kajira4aMaster


Posts: 49
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		It was a M/s relationship, as I have unmentionables, everything in thier presence was done quietly. I was red collared by him Jan. 12th of this year. Money was tight, because my kind of work is, when you get it you get it and when you don't you don't. but this was looking up, We were about to move to the otherside of the state to be closer to his unmentionables. When I dropped him off at work friday we had made plans to have some fun after work.. I was excited because no one else was going to be around. Thats about it I think.

(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/8/2006 10:17:11 PM   
kajira4aMaster


Posts: 49
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you Evanesce... It is nice to know that something similar happened to someone else, brave enough to say so.

Thank you TemptingNviceSub... for your questions.. I will think upon these and find the answers to them within myself.

~ trying to smile n keep her chin up kajira girl

(in reply to kajira4aMaster)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/8/2006 10:31:07 PM   
maybeican


Posts: 25
Joined: 9/1/2005
Status: offline 		Understand that he left you. The reasons may not be clear, but the choice he made was his lose. I have found when people disappear from a relationship, they have been hiding something anyways. keep a close thought on that in the future and be safe.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kajira4aMaster

Thank you Evanesce... It is nice to know that something similar happened to someone else, brave enough to say so.

Thank you TemptingNviceSub... for your questions.. I will think upon these and find the answers to them within myself.

~ trying to smile n keep her chin up kajira girl


_____________________________

Have a wonderfully giving day.

(in reply to kajira4aMaster)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/9/2006 5:48:10 AM   
JoeT2000


Posts: 32
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline 		A Master (or submissive - or anyone) will pack up their stuff and leave because they're unhappy. The way in which they leave, says a great deal, about where the unhappiness stems from.

His not discussing it with you, not giving you warning, and "running" while at work, to my mind, shows he's afraid. Either of showing his emotions, or he has an inability to cope with other people's. Some men are lousy at being responsible and comminicating. I know you must be devasted, but do stop and wonder if you'd rather have a Master who wouldn't behave this way. Put it like this, at least you don't have the problem of how to get him out of the house.

I agree with a previous post, about people behaving in this way, having something to hide. He clearly lacks any emotional maturity, and some people get attracted into being a Dom/Master, due to an innate need to control others, because they don't have control over their own emotions. They tend to be governed by that old primordial reaction... "fight or flight."

Whatever happened in the relationship, my guess that he has some underlying problems, which you wouldn't have been able to help him with. Good tip... if someone has a problem, therapy is usually better than someone "close" trying to help. I know this sounds strange, but if the problems are serious, opening up to someone you're close to, actually increases feelings of vulnerability, for fear that what you say may be used against you, shame, guilt etc.

Sorry for the pain you're feeling, but at least you're no longer living in a relationship which now clearly didn't have any security or stability (although I'm sure he hid this for some time). Take some healing time, look back to see if there were any signs of his problems, if there were, don't "beat yourself up"... but learn from it (hindsight is a wonderful thing, but only when used not to repeat mistakes). If there weren't any signs... well you're not psychic, or a psychologist... so move on. Learn from the past, don't be governed by it.

I wish you happiness.

Joe


(in reply to maybeican)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/9/2006 8:34:56 AM   
kajira4aMaster


Posts: 49
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		maybeican & JoeT2000... Thank you for your kind words.. they give me more to think about.

I am going to try to sit back.. think... understand that this was his problem not mine and be strong in my beliefs of honor and trustworthiness, that I have in me.

(in reply to maybeican)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/9/2006 8:46:53 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		First of all, I am going to provide My response--Because he was an asshole.
 
Second, I am going to suggest you contact "truesub4you"--she had a similar but reverse scenario--I think some mutual hugs may be in order.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to kajira4aMaster)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/9/2006 8:56:03 AM   
petcerina


Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline 		Although i was not living with my Dominant, i did have this happen to me. 

It was just a phone and online relationship at the time, but we had talked about him coming to see me or me going to see him.  We had just done a very intense scene that night on cam for which he said he was proud of me.  He called me the next morning like routine for a few moments, and then the call that night never came.  i waited and waited.  i tried and tried his cell, but it kept saying the number was out.  He was in the military and i knew there was a chance he was going to be deported soon so i was worried that he had had to go and couldn't call me.  i waited 8 days.  i had vowed to myself that i would wait a month before considering myself uncollared.  i got a call from a friend on the 9th day early in the morning waking me up telling me the most depressing and heartbreaking news i had ever recieved.  He wasn't coming back.  He had moved on to my friend and had tried to force himself upon her.  i could go on about how much he was a jerk because it gets worse, but i won't. 

It took me a very long time to get over him.  The day i finally did was when i was listening to a song by Lonestar called "Smile" i believe.  i realized that all i had ever wanted was his happiness.  If he was unhappy with his relationship with me, then he should leave because i wanted him to be happy no matter who it was with.  i know right now that may be hard to accept, but when the time comes, i think it will help. 

i have since moved on and i am blissfully happy with my Master now.  It was a blessing in disguise, as i'm sure yours is.  Keep going on.  It gets better eventually.

< Message edited by petcerina -- 4/9/2006 8:58:23 AM >

(in reply to kajira4aMaster)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/9/2006 8:59:19 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kajira4aMaster

I need another Masters perspective on things... Why would a Master just pack up all his stuff (he lived with me) and move out, while I was at work, and not leave a note or call my cell and leave a message?
Does this seem right to you, that a Master would do this?
This slave thanks you for your time,
~ crying kajira girl


This has nothing to do with being a Master.
This is simply a person that offered no closure & took a coward's way out.

You may never have any answer's to the why or what for, so you will have to find your own closure.

It seems really fishy... just a little advice, if you happen to hear from this guy again don't talk to him. Even if you are burning up with curiosity, just leave it alone. I have know of people that have done crap like this & they also have a nasty habit of creeping back into people's lives only to cause more misery.

Now one last piece of advice from the legendary Gloria Gaynor. Get your hiney over to Home Depot & buy some new locks...

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to kajira4aMaster)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/9/2006 9:13:19 AM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		I've also had a similar experience and no they don't always say why. I was in a LDR Master/slave relationship. I had made another trip out to see him and spend time with him. We worked on my training he said he was proud of me. He kissed me goodbye as I got on the train told me he would see me in a month or so and we would talk when I got home. When I got home I called and he didn't answer when I did get ahold of him two days later he was curt and talking with only short sentences. Still when we said goodbye on the phone he mentioned nothing of being unhappy and said he was talk to me later. I asked repeatedly what was wrong and he said nothing. Finally two days later I just straight up asked if he wished to speak with me and he said no and that was it no explanation nothing. He just hung up the phone. From time to time just as I am feeling good and excited about forging ahead in my life he pops ups. It still hurts but eventually the pain fades some. I give you my deepest sympathies.

_____________________________

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/9/2006 9:17:42 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		Everything Passion said, I agree with 500%.  This guy is a son of a bitch, and you should count yourself lucky he's gone.  Even though it hurts.  It's hard when they leave without a word or a reason, and it takes so much longer to get over it because all you hear in the night is that echo ringing in your head: "why? Why? WHY?"  I know all about it :(

In the end, though, because of the way he left, you will realize that none of the fault was yours.  It was some huge incapacity within himself that caused him to leave like that.  And because of that lack within him, you are much, MUCH better off with out him.

And I also encourage you to go get new locks!  Change your phone number too!  You don't ever want to hear from this guy again!!  Truly, you don't.  Because, whatever reason he had for leaving you that he may come up with, justifiable or not... there is no excuse for the way that he left you!  None, darlin'. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: kajira4aMaster

I need another Masters perspective on things... Why would a Master just pack up all his stuff (he lived with me) and move out, while I was at work, and not leave a note or call my cell and leave a message?
Does this seem right to you, that a Master would do this?
This slave thanks you for your time,
~ crying kajira girl


This has nothing to do with being a Master.
This is simply a person that offered no closure & took a coward's way out.

You may never have any answer's to the why or what for, so you will have to find your own closure.

It seems really fishy... just a little advice, if you happen to hear from this guy again don't talk to him. Even if you are burning up with curiosity, just leave it alone. I have know of people that have done crap like this & they also have a nasty habit of creeping back into people's lives only to cause more misery.

Now one last piece of advice from the legendary Gloria Gaynor. Get your hiney over to Home Depot & buy some new locks...


< Message edited by LadyMorgynn -- 4/9/2006 9:19:35 AM >

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: I need to understand...... - 4/9/2006 9:30:19 AM   
wild1cfl


Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		What I see is that he is not able to communicate with you adn let you know how he is feeling. He is not able to discuss what is good with the relatiosnhip and what is not good with it. No matter what the situation is if you are in a relationship you always should be open, hoenst adn be able to communicate with your partner whether your partner is submissive or Dominant. Obviously he just cannot be honest with you. You are better off without him. Move on and find someone with whom you can discuss the issues with as well as enjoy the fun times.


(in reply to kajira4aMaster)
Profile   Post #: 20
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