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The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 8:52:31 AM

dananddawn

Posts: 56
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline

If you had a brief encounter with a person who was new to the lifestyle but on the path of being a Master, what one piece of advice would you be sure you mentioned?

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Post #: 1

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 8:53:54 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Stop reading the fantasy crap on the internet and get to know people in the physical world who have experience.

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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to dananddawn)

Post #: 2

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 9:03:02 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

Don't get too caught up in the 'image' you think you are supposed to project. Be yourself.

(in reply to dananddawn)

Post #: 3

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 9:04:48 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

both of the above seriously, truly, need to be mentioned.

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~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 4

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 10:53:56 AM

PrimalConsonance

Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dananddawn

If you had a brief encounter with a person who was new to the lifestyle but on the path of being a Master, what one piece of advice would you be sure you mentioned?

One this I would like to add to the great things that were already mentioned, would be the concept of respect. It can't be demanded to be true...it can't be expected either if you are not able to show it and feel it first. You can command respect, but you can't demand respect (this concept was outlined by a speech in a presentation I attended held by Master Taino). I maintain respect towards my submissive, and in return; I receive not only respect but the purest desire from her to serve and please me. Too many times I've seen dominants who feel that their submissives are not entitled to respect, and if that works for you great! But my advice is that take a good look at how others behave around each other (dominants and submissives alike), and decide if you feel the quality of their relationship is something you wish to have emulated on in your potential relationships, or do you think you could improve on them...I'd rather rule with respect than have fear or some other negative emotion be the motivator.

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AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

(in reply to dananddawn)

Post #: 5

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 10:57:13 AM

VAcontroldom

Posts: 65
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline

A self aware dominant who is a good listener and cares about his submissives will have a wonderful experience.

(in reply to PrimalConsonance)

Post #: 6

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 11:01:09 AM

GoddessImaginos

Posts: 1493
Joined: 8/5/2009
From: A small blue planet near Alpha Centauri
Status: offline

Every single word of all this advice is absolutely A1.

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~member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's/Mouthy Wenches having been ModSpanked
~10 fluffy points
~RJD RIP xoxo

(in reply to VAcontroldom)

Post #: 7

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 11:18:46 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

Turn your mouth down to 2 and your ears up to 10

(in reply to dananddawn)

Post #: 8

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 11:25:25 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

What they said.

Don't try to be a role, be you. Take the advice you get in the "community" and even here with a grain of salt. Consider it, but the parts that don't fit for you, don't. We're all different, there are no rules or right ways, other than consent.

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to dananddawn)

Post #: 9

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 12:04:06 PM

warlock1935

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

First, if you're going to do something to your submissive, do it like you mean it. second, don't lie to your sub. Third, actively and frequently TRAIN your little girl. Have a clear set of policies, and enforce them.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 10

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 12:58:47 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline

To always remember that the Fantasy is just a Fantasy and if that Fantasy is strong enough then the reality might not compare.

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"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to warlock1935)

Post #: 11

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 1:50:33 PM

zardozlash

Posts: 3
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline

hello ,
I would add just a thought to the wonderful advises already given , for me a master needs 4 qualities: care attentiveness empathy and above all consistency.
I guess that with all that you are o the path of becoming a fantastic master
Good luck and fair winds

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 12

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 1:52:34 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

They should get some leather pants!

I think the lack of leather pants has really hindered me

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"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to dananddawn)

Post #: 13

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 2:05:39 PM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dananddawn

If you had a brief encounter with a person who was new to the lifestyle but on the path of being a Master, what one piece of advice would you be sure you mentioned?

Use a hell of a lot of common sense.

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to dananddawn)

Post #: 14

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 2:23:48 PM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

Don't eat yellow snow... no in seriousness all the stuff you have learned in your real life, be yourself, don't fall for the hype, chocolate always makes things better

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'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to dananddawn)

Post #: 15

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 2:26:01 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

If you don't know what you're doing, do it slowly.

(heres some lagniappe)

Never stuff two bottles of wine up the poopchute when slave gets an enema.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 16

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 2:29:55 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

There are no rules. Just be yourself.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 17

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 3:37:05 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Same thing I would tell a new sub.
Figure out what you need in a relationship and what you cannot tolerate. Stick to your guns. Better to be alone than lonely with someone else.
Pay attention to your partner.
Be respectful of each other, you both deserve to be happy.
Practice clear and open communication.

Same thing I would tell anyone embarking on a new relationship for that matter. Relationship skills are not 'special' in bdsm. They are the same whether vanilla, chocolate or tutti-frutti.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 18

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 6:20:59 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Never stuff two bottles of wine up the poopchute when slave gets an enema.

Darn!

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(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 19

RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/24/2010 6:29:41 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

You sicken me!

smooch!!!!

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"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 20

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