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Domestic service - 5/24/2010 1:39:41 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline 		What do you think about this type of relationship, where the slave simply does all the housework for the Domme and run errands for her, and gets nothing in return. And that's all. No sex, no strings attached. Nothing more. At the same time she has other relationship(s) which maybe include male or female lovers, and the slave just works for her, without being paid for his work.

Why would a slave like to be in such a relationship?
Does the slave actually hope that he will get something in return one day?
Do such relationships actually exist in their pure form, or the slave always gets something more out of it (not including being satisfied by pleasing, because he gets this anyway) ?

Could ANY woman, no matter is she a domme or not, get free services of domestic worker, just by making a profile on a site such as this and asking for it?
Actually there are many families who have PAID domestic workers.
Could any woman get it for free just by asking for it?

< Message edited by SocratesNot -- 5/24/2010 1:50:00 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 1:43:09 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I have, but not everybody can do that.

Even at that, I wouldn't say they got nothing out of it.  With it came a lot of learning about protocol and the leather lifestyle.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SocratesNot)
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RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 1:57:40 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		well, how about looking at it this way - you enjoy providing this service, you enjoy serving a woman in this way but you have no actual interest in the physical aspects, maybe youre not interested in sex or in BDSM.  for someone like this, who is service orientated only, it would be a perfect situation to be in.  chances are they are given board and lodging in return.  they are in an environment where they can be completely free to express their giving side with a woman who completely understands them.

i dont believe it would work for just anyone looking for a free maid service.  if you read Lady Angelika's thread and read the psyche of both the sub and the Domme youll reaslise that it is a very specific relationship between them.

all submission needs to be in an environment of understanding and that the sub feels that their efforts and endeavours are understood for what they are.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 2:07:14 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

chances are they are given board and lodging in return.


If this is the case, then it is completely different story. Board and lodging = salary.
If I didn't have a job or came in hard financial situation, I would have no objections whatsoever to serving someone in order to get board and lodging.

But, I am not asking about this situation.
I am asking about the situation in which the slave has its own house and money, and provides himself with food and other necessary stuff, but he comes to Domme's house on regular basis just to work for her.

(in reply to lally2)
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RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 2:10:50 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

What do you think about this type of relationship, where the slave simply does all the housework for the Domme and run errands for her, and gets nothing in return. And that's all. No sex, no strings attached. Nothing more. At the same time she has other relationship(s) which maybe include male or female lovers, and the slave just works for her, without being paid for his work.


This is the relationship I had with my current partner when we started, and is the relationship I have with my boy in service now.

quote:

Why would a slave like to be in such a relationship?

It fulfills them.

quote:

Does the slave actually hope that he will get something in return one day?

Perhaps.  It's important to me that they are fulfilled NOW.  If they are not, then we shouldn't be in that relationship.

quote:

Do such relationships actually exist in their pure form, or the slave always gets something more out of it (not including being satisfied by pleasing, because he gets this anyway) ?

You consider that "less pure?"

quote:

Could ANY woman, no matter is she a domme or not, get free services of domestic worker, just by making a profile on a site such as this and asking for it?

Most people can get more stuff if they really work at it.

quote:

Could any woman get it for free just by asking for it?

Any?  Unlikely.  Just like not any man can get a blow job for free just by asking for it, but a lot of men can and do.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SocratesNot)
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RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 2:34:11 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I've done it once. I had no sexual attraction to him. I had no desire to serve him sexually. It wasn't part of the deal. I simply was of service to him...cooked, cleaned, ran errands, etc...

What did I get out of it? The satisfaction of knowing I was being of service, being useful and helpful to another.

Then again I'm also the type who does volunteer work for the same reason and will do things for others for the same reasons.


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 2:54:58 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline 		I think you are a very good person littlewonder.
In general, I think subs are very good people. Maybe even too good.
The only thing I am sometimes bothered with is "Do masters deserve subs being so good to them?"
Volunteering is a great thing!
I tend to think that it is a little better place for exercising your good will and giving nature.

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 2:59:46 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		do Masters deserve subs being so good to them??

Mine does. He's a wonderful man who deserves more than i could ever possibly give him.

Do all Masters? I dunno. You'd have to ask their subs/slaves. I only call one "Master".

do all DOMS deserve subs being good to them?

Some do, some don't....just like all the people on the planet...some do, some don't.

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 3:00:23 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

I think you are a very good person littlewonder.
In general, I think subs are very good people. Maybe even too good.
The only thing I am sometimes bothered with is "Do masters deserve subs being so good to them?"
Volunteering is a great thing!
I tend to think that it is a little better place for exercising your good will and giving nature.



Because of course, masters/mistresses/dominants, cannot be good people, do things for other people, volunteer, etc.....?


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SocratesNot)
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RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 3:09:38 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Because of course, masters/mistresses/dominants, cannot be good people, do things for other people, volunteer, etc.....?


I never said that.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 3:40:30 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Just because you can't see what they get out of it doesn't mean they don't get anything. You're making unwarranted assumptions again.

For that matter, why would anyone volunteer for the Red Cross or to be a volunteer fire fighter? After all, they don't get anything out of it, or do they?


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 4:11:07 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

quote:

Because of course, masters/mistresses/dominants, cannot be good people, do things for other people, volunteer, etc.....?


I never said that.



No, but that was the feeling that I got from reading what you've written.

I haven't got a submissive bone in my body. Yet, I love cooking for people. I love giving gifts. I could break the bank shopping for other people. Not because I expect anything in return, in fact, if I had the money, I would love to do a huge secret Santa type X-mas for a couple of the small towns near where I live. A huge tree, lots of food, and tons of gifts......especially for the children. But all in secret.......no one having a clue I had anything at all to do with it. Why? Because I love giving to others, seeing them smile.

Yet I also prefer a M/s relationship where I have nearly all the power. No safewords, no "I don't want to do that LeeAnn". I am at times, a nasty sadistic evil cruel woman. I enjoy watching people cry and knowing I did it.

I am also a loving mother and grandmother. Protective of the people I love and fiercely loyal.

What you do not seem to understand is that we are multi-faceted human beings. Some of us can embrace the facets that are 'less than pretty', 'less than socially acceptable'. Some of us have found people that love us for ALL our facets, regardless of how frightening, ugly, or whatever others might think.

You seem to look at things too black and white. It's either good or bad.....when the reality is that most of it is both. The key is balance..


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 4:26:44 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Just because you can't see what they get out of it doesn't mean they don't get anything. You're making unwarranted assumptions again.

For that matter, why would anyone volunteer for the Red Cross or to be a volunteer fire fighter? After all, they don't get anything out of it, or do they?


Because volunteering for the Red Cross or being a volunteer fire fighter is much more noble cause in my opinion and I think it can be much more fulfilling.
By doing so you help poor or sick people who are unable to help themselves. Or you save lives from fire, in case of firefighters. What is even more significant they don't even ask for help. You do it on your own, without them even demanding this.

While, on the other hand, in case of being a domestic slave, you are working for (in most cases, not always) perfectly healthy, capable people, without significant economic problems,  who can take care of themselves. Yet they ask for your service, demand it, and they give nothing in return.

I could even challenge the complete moral value of serving them. What impact will this have on them as persons? Can this maybe spoil them?
One of the meanings of this verb is this:

quote:

To ruin the character of, by overindulgence; to coddle or pamper to excess.


If you are spoiling someone are you doing good or bad to them?

I hope you see the difference between these two things (volunteering and domestic service).

< Message edited by SocratesNot -- 5/24/2010 4:40:39 PM >

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 4:35:34 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I've long held the theory that the best relationships are ones in which everyone involved feels completely spoiled.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 5:14:54 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		i have been in the type of relationship that you describe.  However, i'm not sure that you will understand my motivations.  i was actually reluctant to respond, because you frame your question in a way that is inherently judgmental.  Perhaps i am being overly sensitive, but when i read your OP, what i hear is "Is there anybody out there who is stupid enough to be in a relationship like this?"  i'm sure you don't mean it like that, but that is the way i interpret it.

Having said that, i served a Domme for 1.5 years with a dynamic that is exactly what you described.  i cleaned Her home, did Her yard work, shoveled snow from Her driveway and walkway, washed Her windows, did most of Her shopping for Her, and was often called upon to run errands for Her like bringing Her an ice cream sundae or picking up personal product for Her.

There was NEVER any sex in our relationship.  In fact, to show my gratitude for the privilege of serving Her, each time i finished my work i had to kiss Her ass as a sign of my appreciation.  The figurative message in this ritual was not lost on me.

She was extremely high protocol, and had very demanding rituals that i had to fulfill.  i was kept in chastity throughout our relationship.  She used orgasm as a reward for serving Her properly.   In fact, the ONLY times i was allowed orgasm was as a reward for pleasing Her.  She believed that men are selfish in their desire for orgasm, and that they need to learn that true pleasure should come from pleasing one's Mistress.  Therefore, i had to be "re-programmed" to understand that orgasm is a direct benefit of proper service.  Pleasing one's Mistress results in orgasm.  For 1.5 years, She controlled EVERY orgasm i had.  My sexual gratification was completely at Her whim.  And i quickly learned that when i wanted/needed to cum, i had to do something to please Her.  So i would be even more diligent in my service.  i would make sure that Her yard was extra well-maintained, or that Her house was extra clean.

She controlled many other aspects of my life as well.  Yet, i have never seen Her naked.  Never had sex with Her.  Never licked Her pussy.  Never seen Her bare breasts.  Our relationship was not about sex.  It was about power exchange.  She was in charge, and i served Her.

Despite sounding rather one-sided, i enjoyed O/our relationship tremendously.  i don't know if you can even fathom how i can say this.  But the relationship was very rewarding.  Her authority was unquestionable, and the mere opportunity to serve Her was a gift.

(i actually hate sharing personal experiences like this, because so many seem willing to judge "service subs".  i was quite reluctant to share this story.  But i think SocratesNot needs to know that some of us are happy in situations that he cannot fathom anyone taking pleasure in).


_____________________________

"The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers".
-Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 5:56:37 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline 		Rochsub2009, despite still don't understanding such relationship completely and still having many questions to ask, I must tell you that I was fascinated by reading about your relationship. It took a lot of courage and sincerity for writing this, and I admire it a lot.
I could still ask you some questions about it, but I will do so only, if you are OK with it.
So can I ask you some more questions. If you are not OK with that I will not.
But I would be very glad if you allowed me to ask just a few more questions.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 6:26:17 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		When I was looking for a partner, about a year ago, one submissive man approached me with a similar relationship dynamic in mind, in a way that was attractive. Unlike most, he wasn't focused on what he would be wearing, or on which specific tasks he would carry out, and seemed to genuinely focus on wanting to make my life easier. If I had taken him up on it, we probably would have engaged in some casual top/bottom play, but not set up as compensation (x S/M act for y service act). I really wanted more of a relationship than he was able to offer, and found someone who was willing and able to give that to me. In general, it's not the type of dynamic I'd actively seek out, but I don't see anything wrong with other people doing so.

(in reply to SocratesNot)
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RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 6:34:38 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

What do you think about this type of relationship, where the slave simply does all the housework for the Domme and run errands for her, and gets nothing in return. And that's all. No sex, no strings attached. Nothing more. At the same time she has other relationship(s) which maybe include male or female lovers, and the slave just works for her, without being paid for his work.
I think if that is what makes him happy, he should go for it.


Why would a slave like to be in such a relationship?
Does the slave actually hope that he will get something in return one day?
It would not work for me so I can't answer this, sorry.

Do such relationships actually exist in their pure form, or the slave always gets something more out of it (not including being satisfied by pleasing, because he gets this anyway) ?
I am sure they do, but I have never personally met anyone who wanted something like this.


Could ANY woman, no matter is she a domme or not, get free services of domestic worker, just by making a profile on a site such as this and asking for it?
Why don't you write to one of them and ask?

Actually there are many families who have PAID domestic workers.
Yes, and your point?

Could any woman get it for free just by asking for it?
Why don't you write to one of them and ask?


_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 7:54:40 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

Rochsub2009, despite still don't understanding such relationship completely and still having many questions to ask, I must tell you that I was fascinated by reading about your relationship. It took a lot of courage and sincerity for writing this, and I admire it a lot.
I could still ask you some questions about it, but I will do so only, if you are OK with it.



i don't want to make this thread about my experiences.  But feel free to ask.  i may choose to not answer some of your questions, but i'll answer those i am comfortable with.

Just so you know, IMO there are a few groups that are viewed as pariahs even in the D/s community.  One of those groups is "service subs".  Notice the ridiculing tone in your OP.  Also, do a search of this board, and see how often threads come up with titles like "There's no such thing as a service sub", or "Anybody dumb enough to be a service sub?"

Since that is the way the community generally acts towards service subs, hopefully you'll understand why i don't want to share too much and suddenly find myself banished to the Island of Misfit Toys.

With that as a preface, go ahead and ask your questions.

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Domestic service - 5/24/2010 8:09:44 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline 		OK then. You said:

quote:

She believed that men are selfish in their desire for orgasm, and that they need to learn that true pleasure should come from pleasing one's Mistress.


Don't you think that she is not selfish herself if she demands so many things while giving so little in return? Also, isn't it true that women also masturbate? Using the same logic they are also selfish in their desire for orgasm. And finally, since everyone can reach orgasm quite easily by masturbation, why should there be any connection whatsoever between having an orgasm and pleasing Mistress? By the same logic, she could tell you that any activity at all that you find your pleasure in keeps you from finding true pleasure in pleasing your Mistress. And what follows is that it is best to control or deny all the pleasurable activities, not just orgasm.

And the most important question is - what is exactly the thing that caused you to have such a tremendous pleasure in this relationship, despite many things that would be quite undesirable for most people?

That's all.
I have no more questions.
If you are not comfortable with some questions, you don't have to answer them.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 20
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