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allthatjaz -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 3:04:42 AM)
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ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
And finally, the most mysterious part - the formation process of a female dominant.
Society never demanded of women to be dominant, so it is somewhat tricky to explain their dominance.
Its not mysterious at all. Forget what society demanded and get back to anamalistic instincts. I have studied animal psychology and in both herding animals and pack animals, we will always find alpha females.
Lets take horses as an example. If you asked most people who leads a herd of horses, most would answer 'the stallion' but they would be wrong because amongst his harem of mares there will be an 'alpha female' She is the one who decides who is allowed to breed, eat, drink from the waterhole. She is the one that runs at the front of the herd. The stallion may guard his females but he relies very much on the alpha female for the stability of the herd.
If this applies to every herd and pack animal, why would it not apply to us? From an early age females group as friends and there will very often be a leader within that group. Every female here will tell you that they have seen female leadership from an early age.
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In my opinion of all the groups mentioned, female dominants which are natural alpha women, along with natural
alpha men are least insecure. It is possible that they were quite successful in their youth and very beautiful as well.
I can't agree with this. Many 'Alpha' types were bullies as children. They became leaders because they were naturally alpha but alpha creates a lot of stressful responsibility. The trouble with being a leader (no matter how natural) is your constantly under threat from other alpha people.
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After dissatisfaction with several such power relationships, the dominant woman decided to take the things in her own
hands. So she used her assertiveness and sexuality to seduce more submissive types of men, and of course she was
successful. So they probably formed very successful, female led, but still vanilla relationship in which she was treated
like a goddess, and he also enjoyed the relationship with such a powerful woman very much. Many naturally dominant
women never actually proceed to real D/s or BDSM.
I can relate to this up to a point. I was always the alpha woman within my vanilla relationships. The trouble with having an 'omega' partner is, I carried all the stress and I never had an equal. To always be in charge and run the entire show can be hugely stressful. I needed to find this lifestyle to find a submissive that was not 'omega type'.
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female dominants are quite rare, and it is even possible that they are more present in the world of vanilla then in BDSM.
This I do agree with.
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The third type are insecure dommes.
In order to feel satisfied with themselves and
to avoid feeling of inferiority, they simply need to dominate men, usually strong alpha men. It's a challenge for them. The
more manly man they dominate, the greater is their accomplishment and the less insecure they will feel. Such dommes are
usually more cruel then natural alpha women that I previously described, because they are attracted to partners that are
not naturally so submissive. So they need to break them. In breaking them they can be very cruel. They also usually demand
strict obedience, observance of rituals and even worship, because if they lack it, their feelings of insecurity or inferiority return.
Ok, you have just described me to a point but I would need to correct a few things. Yes, I like the 'alpha sub' and yes, I can be cruel but I don't see an alpha sub as not naturally submissive. An alpha sub is just more particular, more in tune with his submission and less likely to give it away on a whim to anyone who calls herself a Domme. When an alpha sub submits its amazing for both the Domme and for him.
Why would I break something I enjoy? why would I possibly want to dominate someone who is not submissive?
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Insecure dominants would probably be bullies in vanilla relationships.
and so would subs
It was an interesting post. Some I agreed with and other bits I didn't. I read some of me in the insecure Domme and some of me in the Alpha Domme.
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