RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own)

RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (Full Version)

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divi -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 6:45:42 AM)
Jeff try offering a valium

Silence8 -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 6:50:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss If I ever get this beligerent and mean spirited and condescending, please somebody promise to tell me. Thank you. Yeah, see your above '$5000 paper' comment. Ayn Rand. Zen. Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Belligerent. Chocolate Laxative, anyone?

Jeffff -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 6:51:22 AM)
Want a hug?

RedMagic1 -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 7:26:03 AM)
Silence8, if you'd like to read some of my philosophy-in-thought positions, you could browse my posts in the BDSM Critical Theory group on FetLife, which I cofounded with two other people. I express myself on this message board primarily with philosophy-in-action. A friend, another cofounder of that group, posted here once and didn't find the responses of the intellectual type she was hoping to connect with. So she went to FL, and didn't find what she wanted there, either. So, she asked me and another friend if the three of us could start a group there, so we did. That's what people who are honestly looking for a particular discourse do. They find it, or create it. They don't remain in the non-situation saying, "All the rest of you suck." This message board is what it is. Since there are no Fet-type groups, people from all educational backgrounds and walks of life read the same threads and comment on the same topics. The only glue that binds us together is our actual experience with the topic under discussion. If you discount the experience that others bring to the table, by talking down to them or calling them anti-intellectual when they are actually pro-reality, you only demonstrate your lack of understanding of the institutional character of a medium set up in this way. Are you addicted to raging, or are you interested in learning from the world?

jbcurious -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 7:28:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot quote: You have (once again) presumed, and were (once again) wrong. So what, does it get you off, me being wrong? Also, most of people here, including newcomers are pretty much comfortable with what they are and with most aspects of BDSM. They don't cause any controversy, that's why they are respected. Or they are already in a relationship, which makes them less interested about other relationships because they are focused on their own. The fact that I am not and that I have had many real objections which I stated boldly, simply makes me an easier target for criticism. If I wanted to stay respected, I would be able to do so. But this wasn't my aim. My aim was challenging things, learning and understanding. I have yet to decide for myself will I pursue BDSM at all or not. Also I don't have much hopes about fining actual partner over CM (at least not yet), so my image on forum is not of that importance to me. I'm 50 and new to both BDSM and this site...about 3 months. I'm still discovering what and who I am as a submissive and coming into this was not comfortable or easy for me... but I'm learning and with each stage of discovery I'm becoming more comfortable. I ask questions, I form opinions, and I don't act like I know more then everyone else. You learn by observing, reading, and asking a pertinent question or asking for clarification when you don't understand something. Not by steamrolling your opinions thoughts and theories over every one. You seem to be more concerned with voicing what's going on in your head then you are in actually learning anything. Sometimes it's best just to shut up and listen...you might be surprised at what you actually learn.

Silence8 -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 8:40:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Silence8, if you'd like to read some of my philosophy-in-thought positions, you could browse my posts in the BDSM Critical Theory group on FetLife, which I cofounded with two other people. I express myself on this message board primarily with philosophy-in-action. A friend, another cofounder of that group, posted here once and didn't find the responses of the intellectual type she was hoping to connect with. So she went to FL, and didn't find what she wanted there, either. So, she asked me and another friend if the three of us could start a group there, so we did. That's what people who are honestly looking for a particular discourse do. They find it, or create it. That could be interesting. I'll have to create an account, and check it out later tonight.

leadership527 -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 8:47:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot I am beginning to think that for young people it is better to lie about their age and level of experience, and this is the only way for them to be taken seriously. Incorrect. It never occurred to me to wonder or care about your age. What got you in trouble on these boards was pontificating. I clearly don't feel the same as the many other posters. Your pontificating still annoyed me, but I thought maybe you'd work your way through it... which I think you are. quote: If I invented the stories about 3 intensive D/s relationships in which I was and said that I am 43, many people would actually believe in the great part of my theory. No, I didn't believe large parts of many of your theories because my own life contradicted them. In the end, nobody can propose a theory that is directly proved wrong and expect me to believe it. Besides, this is collarme. People make up crap all the time. We're all used to it. quote: I appreciate the fact that Rochsub appreciates my honesty. But I am really wondering if honesty is really that important. Well, god knows that this is the internet. There is a ton of lying and deception that goes on all the time. I think the real question is whether you want to join in on it or not.

Silence8 -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 8:52:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot I am beginning to think that for young people it is better to lie about their age and level of experience, and this is the only way for them to be taken seriously. Incorrect. It never occurred to me to wonder or care about your age. What got you in trouble on these boards was pontificating. I clearly don't feel the same as the many other posters. Your pontificating still annoyed me, but I thought maybe you'd work your way through it... which I think you are. quote: If I invented the stories about 3 intensive D/s relationships in which I was and said that I am 43, many people would actually believe in the great part of my theory. No, I didn't believe large parts of many of your theories because my own life contradicted them. In the end, nobody can propose a theory that is directly proved wrong and expect me to believe it. Besides, this is collarme. People make up crap all the time. We're all used to it. quote: I appreciate the fact that Rochsub appreciates my honesty. But I am really wondering if honesty is really that important. Well, god knows that this is the internet. There is a ton of lying and deception that goes on all the time. I think the real question is whether you want to join in on it or not. He's totally right, actually. You can avoid a lot of bullshit by making a profile that is an attractive female dominant, mid-30s. Honesty? On the internet, who cares really? Are you really trying to make real-life friends? I also don't think people are frequently honest with themselves... if you want just to get a sense for what (and how) random people think, lying is perfectly ethical. Save the honesty for the rare souls who attempt it with themselves.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 9:13:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 LOL god I love you Roch, always intelligent, always polite, always willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt over and over, but...definitely willing to throw yourself in the gutter with gusto when need be! Me am a anti-intellectual. Me like gutter! [:D]

LadyPact -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 9:25:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Silence8 That could be interesting. I'll have to create an account, and check it out later tonight. Haven't you already created a 'deflection' account? One that is just here to reply to the forums? Didn't you already ensure that no one could see you, because there is anger and hatred in you? Hey, if you don't have the balls to spout your venom while being your authentic self, that's your problem. It is not an issue that I share. Why do you hide? Is it because your intellectual self has not reconciled with your emotional self. Why, in your personal, not political dealings, are you so afraid of being discovered? A philosopher you might be. Yet, you at the core are an angry young man, who has not experienced life. Bitter, frustrated, isolated. I don't suffer fools well. Not even the intelligent ones.

sunshinemiss -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 9:43:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Silence8 quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss If I ever get this beligerent and mean spirited and condescending, please somebody promise to tell me. Thank you. Yeah, see your above '$5000 paper' comment. Ayn Rand. Zen. Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Belligerent. Chocolate Laxative, anyone? Hello Silence, There was nothing mean spirited, beligerent, or condescending in my post. I wrote with sincerity and honesty. *and by the way, it was Illusions, not Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Again, not all wisdom must be couched in 50 cent words. Best, sunshine

divi -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 9:47:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: Silence8 That could be interesting. I'll have to create an account, and check it out later tonight. Haven't you already created a 'deflection' account? One that is just here to reply to the forums? Didn't you already ensure that no one could see you, because there is anger and hatred in you? Hey, if you don't have the balls to spout your venom while being your authentic self, that's your problem. It is not an issue that I share. Why do you hide? Is it because your intellectual self has not reconciled with your emotional self. Why, in your personal, not political dealings, are you so afraid of being discovered? A philosopher you might be. Yet, you at the core are an angry young man, who has not experienced life. Bitter, frustrated, isolated. I don't suffer fools well. Not even the intelligent ones. Lady Pact I dont say this often. You are one of my favorite Domme's. You are like a super hero in the Domme world. You should banish the world of fake Dommes when you arent busy beating clips ass

allthatjaz -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 10:19:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot Allthatjaz, I am really impressed by your honesty and by your real attempt to understanf my theory and to relato to this, even if you don't agree with some points. Dear God, that's the only thing that I expected from other people too. To constructively say their opinions about the theory and to honestly discuss it. Of all these posters you are the only one who really did this. I congratulate you! I started to read the responses but I was seeing too many people taking up arms. With a post like this, in a place like this, you will always get very defensive and often insulted reactions. I didn't see your post as gospel. What I saw were some interesting thoughts on paper. Human psychology fascinates me. BDSM psychology fascinates me even more but I try and save discussions like this for the dining table because the written word can be a dangerous thing indeed.

MrRodgers -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 10:46:00 AM)
This whole post is just like so many attempts to try to put all of this that we do...into words on a computer screen. if everybody who came to the net thinking of this life style and what one must call...the kinky, sexual fetishes and read most of this Internet crap and believed it, they would leave in a heartbeat. There is nothing in this post whatsoever that need be considered the truth about D/s for those just coming to the net. This is just more of what we see on these boards and at these sites in general that lecturers use...jargon & footnotes. (without the footnotes) There is little that is universal about peoples' internal make-ups either here or in vanilla life.

SocratesNot -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 10:55:02 AM)
quote: This whole post is just like so many attempts to try to put all of this that we do...into words on a computer screen. if everybody who came to the net thinking of this life style and what one must call...the kinky, sexual fetishes and read most of this Internet crap and believed it, they would leave in a heartbeat. There is nothing in this post whatsoever that need be considered the truth about D/s for those just coming to the net. This is just more of what we see on these boards and at these sites in general that lecturers use...jargon & footnotes. (without the footnotes) There is little that is universal about peoples' internal make-ups either here or in vanilla life. I disagree. quote: Human nature is the concept that there is a set of inherent distinguishing characteristics, including ways of thinking, feeling and acting, that humans tend to have. This is something that is in common to ALL people. Based on the understanding of human nature, the reasons for some, at first sight, unusual patterns of behavior can be explained.

jbcurious -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 11:10:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot quote: This whole post is just like so many attempts to try to put all of this that we do...into words on a computer screen. if everybody who came to the net thinking of this life style and what one must call...the kinky, sexual fetishes and read most of this Internet crap and believed it, they would leave in a heartbeat. There is nothing in this post whatsoever that need be considered the truth about D/s for those just coming to the net. This is just more of what we see on these boards and at these sites in general that lecturers use...jargon & footnotes. (without the footnotes) There is little that is universal about peoples' internal make-ups either here or in vanilla life. I disagree. quote: Human nature is the concept that there is a set of inherent distinguishing characteristics, including ways of thinking, feeling and acting, that humans tend to have. This is something that is in common to ALL people. Based on the understanding of human nature, the reasons for some, at first sight, unusual patterns of behavior can be explained. SN... A concept is not a fact and has no foundation in refuting anothers statement.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 11:13:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 A friend, another cofounder of that group, posted here once and didn't find the responses of the intellectual type she was hoping to connect with. So she went to FL, and didn't find what she wanted there, either. So, she asked me and another friend if the three of us could start a group there, so we did. That's what people who are honestly looking for a particular discourse do. They find it, or create it. They don't remain in the non-situation saying, "All the rest of you suck." This message board is what it is. Since there are no Fet-type groups, people from all educational backgrounds and walks of life read the same threads and comment on the same topics. The only glue that binds us together is our actual experience with the topic under discussion. If you discount the experience that others bring to the table, by talking down to them or calling them anti-intellectual when they are actually pro-reality, you only demonstrate your lack of understanding of the institutional character of a medium set up in this way. Great post RedMagic! i'm definitely going to check out your group on FetLife. It sounds interesting. Your counsel to Silence8 is dead on. He is fishing in the wrong pool. What he is doing is akin to going to McDonald's and making a fuss because they won't let him order a pizza. [:D]

SocratesNot -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 11:14:12 AM)
It is a fact! There is a human nature: As long as it is possible to define a human, as long as there are defining characteristics common to ALL people, there IS a human nature.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 11:27:53 AM)
SocratesNot, The concept of D/s itself is rather basic. In regards to what makes one person tick and another person tick, there will be differences. The combination of variables or variences along with deviations. Trying to neatly quantify all these variables be them internal or external, does no real justice to actual experience of engaging in the experience of life. Some people spend too much time thinking about the meaning of life, while not spending enough time actually living life. One can sit and rip something apart in thought to the nth degree. There is knowing about something because you have read about it, there is the knowing about somehting because you have thought about it. You may have analyzed it, you may have fantasized about it a million times even. But to actually live it, is to fully understand it, appreciate the truthes for what it is. There is no substitution for human experiences when it comes to human behavior. You can gleem a lot simply by listening to other people's experiences, and experiencing things for yourself. This is all part of living life and living it. If you want to get to know human behavior, get to know people and then reassociate what you've learned to the Text-Book labels and concepts. The best and most solid Theories are devired upon observations, instead of creating a theory and testing it out to see if it fits. Intellectual circumvention of scientific methods really does not cut it. Think of experiences being a bit like experiments of sorts, if you will. You taking and trying to apply a theory to a wide domain, one to which are a number of variances. You need to bind many hypotheses together in this jigsaw puzzle you have going on. Again, I stress the best source of information to start with is the Human experience. As many have stressed this already. Do more reading and actually take the time to listen to what others have to share with you. Also, actually get your own feet wet. It appears that you are trying very hard to come to some personal conclusions regarding BDSM, perhaps dealing with a bit of an internal moral conflict inside yourself at the moment. This is the impression I get from reading all your recent threads. There are a number of issues it appears that you need to work out for yourself. I'm not certain if you run your live by using theories, social norms of other people, or things you've read. Your posts and threads, are all about you trying to reach decisions regarding your own choices.

Lucienne -> RE: An interesting theory of D/s (my own) (5/27/2010 12:21:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot Sunshine your theory even if it might be true is so obvious, that it lacks any insight and depth whatsoever. Hmm... do you recognize the distinction between intellectual understanding and emotional understanding? There are many important things in life that are easily reduced to obvious cliches. It's possible to rationally grasp the elements of the cliche without having internalized the message because you lack the richness of experience, not just reading about it. These moments in life - where you have a sudden awareness of just how much beauty and truth is jam packed into a statement like "stop thinking about it, go out and do it" - are intensely rewarding and you'll probably be amazed by how much fuller the experience was than you anticipated based on your predictive intellectual analysis. Words and reason are still merely tools for grappling with the world around you. They're wonderful tools. But they are in service to the greater goal of experiencing and understanding life. I still think that if you really want to have a better understanding of this, you're better off focusing on the "how" before try to figure out the "why." And your best source of evidence on "how" is going to be your own experience, not others'. Academic surveys and larger over-arching studies can be a lovely thing. They can also be a tool for avoidance - you can spend time reading and postulating rather than just going out and doing. An indirect satisfaction of the urge that, as you've already noted, tends towards being very much about you anyway. I think if you reach for more personal, corporeal experience, you'll discover that "because it feels good" is a more satisfactory answer to "why?" than you currently think.

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