leadership527
Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008 Status: offline
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ORIGINAL: SocratesNot But, can someone honestly tell me, can being a literal "slave" and "property" without personal identity actually be healthy for anyone? I'm not going to speak for others, but Carol has a personal identity... She's Carol. What we had to do was rework our heads to allow for the concept of an owned human as more than a theoretical thing that happens somewhere else in the world. But other than that, she's pretty much as she ever was. quote:
I am not concerned about physical aspects of this, because in many TPE relationships there isn't very much sadomasochistic elements at all. What worries me are psychological risks of that. me too... back to the law of unintended consequences. quote:
The word "slave", no matter how erotic it can be, is an ugly word for me. It has so many negative connotations, that I can not like it. The same thing I feel about the word "property". It's neither erotic nor ugly to me. It's simply the proper technical description for a human being owned by another. It is certainly true that I had to reclaim that word in my own head. One of the things you'll find important in BDSM-land is to look at ACTUAL circumstances. Being a slave in the historical sense is a bad thing. Being a slave the way Carol is would be bad for most people. But the only question on the table is, "Is it bad for her?" It's also ridiculous to get hung up on labels. If you don't like the word "slave', then fine, use another. quote:
When something is your property you have all the rights to use it and abuse it in any ways, and also to destroy it. OK, let's not get lost in fantasy here. Carol is my property, yes. But Carol is also a level-headed woman. How long do you think she would remain my property if being so were proven to be bad for her. Granted, she'd drag it on longer than most would. But eventually, there'd be a point. No matter how far she has surrendered her judgement on what is good and not over to me, eventually the evidence of actuality would mount up. quote:
Using the word "property" to describe a human being does not feel good for me. That's fine. It works for us. quote:
That being said LNT said, that she is SURE that her primary submissive partner would kill himself if she wanted this. Can it be in any way healthy? She said that being loyal to her is more important to her partner than being alive. Really, can this be healthy? I'd have to see the direct quote. I can tell you that I personally do not have any Jim Jones dynamic going on in my marriage. If I told Carol to kill herself, she'd return both the collar and wedding ring to me and tell me to get lost. If, however, I handed her a gun and told her to put it to her head and pull the trigger, she'd comply. Now, I leave it as an exercise to you to figure out why the first command would fail and the second succeed. I personally would consider ACTUALLY training the survival instinct out of your slave to be ... well... exactly what Jim Jones did and not particularly laudable. I'll make another note here though. In my experience, a great many posters... even ones that seem very sensible, are lost in fantasy to some degree or another -- ESPECIALLY when it comes to topics like this. quote:
People keep telling me that slaves have no issues with self esteem whatsoever, or even if they have it, not more than anyone else. However, I am really puzzled with someone being willing to takes his life in order to please the Domme. If he values his life so little, how can he value himself? *nods* I agree... at least if the taking of life is spurious. On the other hand, either Carol or myself would sacrifice our own lives in a heartbeat to save the other's. quote:
But still, if someone is really a slave, internally enslaved, owned and deprived of personal identity, how dependent she becomes on her Master? Another common question. I'll point out that at least for Carol, she has not stopped making her own decisions. She has not stopped having her own opinions about what is right and wrong, proper and improper. It's just that my opinions trump hers. Near as I can tell, were I to die, she'd simply continue on as she is now ... with nobody's opinions to trump hers. She'd also be very sad but financially stable. quote:
So if Master owns WHOLE slave (which Jeff said that this is his goal) how much of her being is left to her? Would her life have any sense at all if the Master died or left her? Here's a little tip. Carol and I are and have always been madly in love. If either of us died (at any time in our marriage), the remaining partner's life would've been thrown into a dismal tailspin. However, we are also both strong, capable individuals and we'd work through it. quote:
I tend to believe that in order to be healthy every person must have some personal strength within. So do I. Great. What's that got to do with Carol. You are completely misreading what it means to be my slave. Dude, would you like to talk to Carol in email or on the phone? You could probably get a lot of your misconceptions cleared up in a more focused communication.
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~Jeff I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael
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