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RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 11:14:57 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

what i am having issue with is the lack of security i seem to have as a slave(being released or sold at Master's choosing) and having no choice or rights in this dichotomy ....and Master keeping me in close range as His charge...but not stating His feelings....i mean is there peace to being owned or insecurity of being property?

i think im still on topic here .....lol
ty


bestheadyet -- what i am going to say will be unpopular with probably about 85% of the people even those who practice a type of M/s. However i will clarify, not everyone understands slavery that i speak of nor does everyone live in such a way. I have 8 years experience in the slavery my Master held me in and that is all i ever speak regarding. I am going to presume that your relationship of M/s is fairly new and i believe -- correct me if i am wrong -- you don't actually live with your master on a 24/7 basis. I will say this -- to me, within those two factors security of this type of relationship would be difficult to find and maintain. However, if your relationship is pretty new -- i would say within a year and even if you do live together, its always hard to find and maintain a balance of security when your autonomy is being ruled by another. You are not very different from most women who enter slavery. No, you don't have to leave him, no you don't have to freak out saying you can't leave him, no you don't even need to contemplate wanting to leave. What you have to do is 1) take a deep breath -- deeper -- deeper; now kneel in front of him and simply exhale. Yeah i know kind of corny but its what you need to do if unable to literally than figuratively.

Now here is the part 85% of the people won't like. You don't NEED to know what his thoughts are. Yuo don't need a choice. You don't have the right to know. Kinda harsh and scary concepts, yes? However, once you as a slave become comfortable with these concepts, your life will be a lot more feeling of secure and balance. Many slaves especially within the first year instinctively fight for controls they have had without thinking in other relationships. The control over their relationship, the control that they are "entitled" to certain things from their "partners" and the most instinctive, the right to know.

As a slave, all of that mindset tends to be readjusted because of a slave's existance in a man's life. From your very short post it shoulds like you are creating your own insecurity because of the "unknown." The hardest thing for you to learn will be that you are now on a need to know basis for information -- EVEN pertaining to yourself. And no, lol, you do not get to determine what and when you need to know something.

Its a concept of trust and yes, its one as a slave you need to learn or else you will drive yourself nuts. Accept that you are not entitled to know, that you do not need to know what he has planned or what he is thinking etc.

You have answered your own question on many levels about what he thinks with your statement of "keeping me in close range." That is all you need to know it appears. Could you be released -- yep. Could he change his mind -- yep. Could he wake up one day and decide he wants to be alone -- yep. There will ALWAYS be coulds. What you should be focusing on or should say learning to focus on is simply trusting him.

One thing about being a slave is your life is no longer your own. You are trying to maintain control based upon what you used to live and what you are used too. You have a different way of living now. No its not a life of insecurity because the more you grow to trust him, the more control he takes and you relax into not having, the less you will fret about things and simply enjoy the existance he allows you.

It takes time. And yes, i would say the first year or so of slavery is a bitch, its hard, its full of adjustments, its full of confusion many times and it takes some getting used too. Don't let panic swallow you. You have an anchor - USE HIM! so many slaves try and get through all of this crap that they forget the one person that is there being the rock they can climb on when the waters get too high or they feel like they are drowning. I tell women all the time-- there is an ANSWER, its HIM. So take a deep breath and exhale for he is at the controls and you have to simply accept that. If you are having trouble, talk to him, tell him any way you can -- even if its losing your temper and saying HEY, i don't get this. Its okay not to understand. But if you try and maintain control by trying to fix it all on your own -- it will only take longer for you to be able to exhale and the fight could create a cost imbalance where he decides its too much for him to pay.

The way to avoid that is to turn towards the one thing as a slave that is tormenting you -- your Master. Only he can fix it for you or help you through your angst and unbalance.

He's the one that has drawn the map, he doesn't need to show it to you or explain it, however, if you keep trying to control where you go, you will eventually crash -- and that is never pretty.

angel



< Message edited by barelynangel -- 5/27/2010 11:20:26 AM >

_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


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Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 11:17:40 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		SN, Daddysprop's type of slavery is certainly not for everyone. Lord knows I have watched her get torn asunder, via written word, more times than I can count and usually by other women that define themselves as slaves or submissive.

She is not saying anyone else should live as she does. She is not saying her way is the only or right way. She is only telling her story. What works for her.

Very very few people could, or perhaps should, live as DP does. But yanno, if she is satisfied and living as she wishes, it's really no one's business but her's and the man she calls Master. She doesn't care if you think it is right or wrong. No one here really cares if you think it is right or wrong. It is her life and her choice to live it as fulfills her.

No matter what, in this world there will be suffering. There isn't one god damned thing any one of us can do to stop that. If you or I or anyone else sees DP's life as wrong or suffering, chances are, you can't do a thing about it. She doesn't want you to! If indeed she suffers, as we all do to some degree in any relationship, she wishes to continue. For her, whatever she suffers at the hand of her master, is more desirable than to be without him in her life.

Consider the idea that there will always be suffering. In ALL relationships it exists to some degree, however small. Who am I or you, to dictate what that is for another?

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 5/27/2010 11:20:41 AM >

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 11:21:16 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		angel, excellent advice, it will be so useful to many. but my question to you is this...where the heck were you my first year of slavery?! 


lol

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Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 11:21:20 AM   
bestheadyet


Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline 		may the gods bless you today angel.....ty....i think i need to print and keep this handy for self doubt days.
i understand loads more....and hope you have helped others today as well(im sure u have)

big hug
jos

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Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 11:22:46 AM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

unlike Jeff and Carol, i am not composed of the stuff (call it strength or will) to survive a life without my Master. i have never lived an independent life, being collared so young, and after being his slave for the entirety of my adult life i have lost all potential i may had to live an independent life. but far more critical than this is the fact that, as i've stated before, being his property is what gives my life purpose, value, meaning. if i am no longer his slave, whether because he has released me or because he has passed on from this plane, then in my heart and soul i am nothing, and my existence meaningless. i would not have the desire or the strength to live such a life.


I found these words very touching and refreshing. That you have such a bond and deep seated loyalty to your Master is inspiring, and the quintessence of how "this stuff" isn't just relegated within the velvet rope of play parties and adult theatrics.


_____________________________

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Founder, Humbled Females

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Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 11:23:45 AM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline 		Daddysprop, try to listen to me.
I think that all people are born alone and die alone.

You can't say that your Master is your life because this simply isn't true.
You lived 20 years without your Master and this is more than two thirds of your entire existence. (around 70%)
I don't know about your personal life situation. But there are things such as parents, siblings, children etc.
If you ever happen to be mother, and your Master dies, you are still OBLIGED to be a good mother to your children because they will need you.
And you will love them. And you would find the purpose of your life in them.
It's not only about you and your Master. There is a life outside this relationship and there are other people that need you.

< Message edited by SocratesNot -- 5/27/2010 11:28:50 AM >

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Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

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Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 11:28:10 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		On the advice of my attorney, my mod and my accountant.

I am refraining from posting on this thread.


I have no recollection of ever calling the OP an asshole.

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Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 11:30:53 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		There's a whole lot of overreaction going on here and not just from the odd one that is screaming that everyone see his point of view. While daddysprop has said some things over the years that I have thought, wow, I couldn't personally do that, but it works for her then great and she seems to absolutely be in bliss over it, this isn't one. She's said that her partner is important to her having a happy life and if he was gone she wouldn't know how to go on. So what? That's true of so many long term relationships. This isn't even peculiar to d/s. Have you never been in love so deeply, had your life so ingrained by someone else's that you wouldn't know how to separate them? As someone else pointed out, it's incredibly common for one spouse to follow another shortly after death because this is common. I remember my grandfather dying and my grandmother having no idea how to even write a check (yes we used them back them) and she was incredibly loved and cared for and even coddled with no bdsm or d/s.

I also don't think it's remotely radical or should cause some big reaction as predicted that someone else can make decisions for you without thinking about them. That also happens every day and is common. Does it mean you cannot think? Does it take away your ability to think? No. When I go to my doctor and he diagnoses me, I don't question his judgement and argue the point and say I know better than him. This is no different, accepting that someone that has the knowlege and savvy to guide you isn't a new phenomena or especially even shocking. How does applying that across the board to that same person become somehow odd or unusual? It doesn't.

What it does mean is that you should be careful where you put that trust as I think everyone here that is a regular poster in that type of relationship seems to have done. People flourish under circumstances you may not understand, yes flourish rather than flounder, they are bettered by it. The fact that you don't get it and are unable to listen and shout out your silly proclamations that it doesn't work for you doesn't make it any the less true.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 5/27/2010 11:32:32 AM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 11:31:24 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Once again what business is this of yours what she does ?

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Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 11:32:18 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
unlike Jeff and Carol, i am not composed of the stuff (call it strength or will) to survive a life without my Master. i have never lived an independent life, being collared so young, and after being his slave for the entirety of my adult life i have lost all potential i may had to live an independent life. but far more critical than this is the fact that, as i've stated before, being his property is what gives my life purpose, value, meaning. if i am no longer his slave, whether because he has released me or because he has passed on from this plane, then in my heart and soul i am nothing, and my existence meaningless. i would not have the desire or the strength to live such a life.

Then again, all such discussions of future events are theoretical in nature... especially for a person who has not seen such a vital, central relationship fall apart and survived it. It's also a possibility that you would, in fact, decide to not end your life if your master died. You might choose to reflect on his sadness at that prospect and consider it your tribute to him and what he stood for. In the future, all things are possible. My mentor in business a long time ago used to have a crystal ball sitting on her desk with a sign hanging around it that read "Out of order". *chuckles* She referred people to it regularly.

SocratesNot, some of us choose to not dwell on disaster scenarios. Yes, Carol could die tomorrow and my life would be bereft. I could also be struck by a car tomorrow and be crippled from the neck down. An asteroid might strike the earth and end all life on the planet. Carol might go insane while we sleep tonight and hack off my limbs with a butcher's knife (Oh God! I never realized I was in such peril till just that moment when I typed that. I must be brainwashed or abused in order to stay with her). I choose not to devote much thought to such occurrences. If they happen, they do. I'll muddle along (or not as Daddysprop said) one way or the other. What I know for sure is that it is entirely impossible to predict my actions in such a chaotic moment. What I know for a fact is that my life TODAY is healthy, happy, loving and vibrant. NOW is the only reality. Yesterday is what we make of it. Tomorrow is nothing more than a probabilistic smear.

And Kyra hit the nail on the head regarding what makes Carol ... well... Carol. Has it ever occurred to you that her hair color, her weight, her clothing choices, her circle of friends, and whatever else is not what defines her as a human being? Did you ever watch that ST:TNG episode I suggested you watch? As I've noted several times, Carol is perfectly able to assert herself when her actual boundaries are crossed. It's just that her boundaries are not the same sorts of things that other people think of as boundaries. Why on god's green earth would you assume that everyone on the planet must have a self-image and related boundaries similar to your own or else they are unhealthy?

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 11:33:04 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		SocrateNot, don't try but actually listen to me very carefully -- no one here needs you to save them. Your presumption about a slave's life shows your ignorance on the subject and it really would be best if you simply stop. You don't HAVE to agree with how others live but only a fool will try and determine what is best for someone else.

I understand exactly what she means when she says her master is her life. for many slaves, yes even mothers, this is true. Its how she exists in his life. I know you have a hard time and are trying to freak out about stuff being said but seriously, its time for you to stop.

You sound ignorant as you are speaking of something you admittedly DO NOT understand. So do us all a favor and chill out on the freak out.

angel

_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


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Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 11:48:17 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Ron said it well. 

If security is your issue, then the only way to find real security is to make for it yourself.  Make sure you have the skills and education to take care of yourself, because there is no BDSM police force that is going to show up if you call and put a gun to Master's head and make him guarantee your security, no matter how pretty he talked or how many promises he made, or how sternly he made you kneel and kiss his cock.  In ANY relationship, either partner can back out at any time if they really want to, sorry, too bad so sad for you.  Sure, it sucks and it's wrong, but it happens quite frequently.

Always have a back-up plan, in all ways in life.

Edited to add:
I didn't read past Ron's post when I wrote the above, and I didn't see what turn the thread had taken, my apologies.

What I want to add to angel's great post, especially the paragraph about learning to let go of control the first year or so is that, that kind of advice is only effective when you are CERTAIN YOU HAVE A SECURE RELATIONSHIP FIRST!  You don't jump in after only days or weeks or even months of knowing him and turn your whole life over to him.  That's where my back-up plan advice stays in effect.  And even if it is certain....it can STILL always end at any time, just like any other relationship in life. 


< Message edited by windchymes -- 5/27/2010 11:57:31 AM >

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 12:29:01 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

Daddysprop, try to listen to me.


Not good enough. Give a solid, logical reason for her to make such an attempt. What insights do you offer into the relationship of someone whom you don't know?


quote:

I think that all people are born alone and die alone.


And I think that our souls are energy and that we are all connected to one another through this energy and are never alone and when we die, our energy goes out into the universe for the next phase of the adventure. Yours, like mine, is pure conjecture and opinion based on simply feeling our own truths. I find your thought rather sad and my own very comforting. To be born alone and to die alone.. being lonely is a horrible feeling, I can't imagine spending an eternity being alone.

quote:

You can't say that your Master is your life because this simply isn't true.


Supposition with no basis in fact. You have no idea whether it's true or not.. you just *hope* it's not.


quote:

You lived 20 years without your Master and this is more than two thirds of your entire existence. (around 70%)


Absolutely meaningless. I wore a mask, pretended to be something that I *thought* I was supposed to be for several years before discovering my path. Living takes very little effort.. its simple the failure to die. Living your truth, that's a different kettle of fish and from what I've read of DP, she only really started to live her truth under her Masters wing. There is little doubt about who is the arbitar of the quality of life in personal relationships and it's not screenname on a BDSM message board.

quote:

I don't know about your personal life situation.


Bingo!

quote:

But there are things such as parents, siblings, children etc.


How do you know? Pure conjecture. You don't know if DP has living parents, what her relationship may be with themn, whether she has brothers or sisters, children, cats. I remind you of your own words.

quote:

I don't know about your personal life situation.


quote:

If you ever happen to be mother, and your Master dies, you are still OBLIGED to be a good mother to your children because they will need you.


That's your value. It is not shared universally. You don't even know if DP has children. (You could find out if you read through some of her postings though.. if you are really interested. It's a subject she has spoken about in the past.)

I remind you again of your words...


quote:

I don't know about your personal life situation.



quote:

And you will love them. And you would find the purpose of your life in them.


You have no idea whether that's truth or fiction because ..


quote:

I don't know about your personal life situation.



quote:

It's not only about you and your Master. There is a life outside this relationship and there are other people that need you.


quote:

I don't know about your personal life situation.


quote:

I don't know about your personal life situation.


You don't know. DP knows. Her Master knows. You do not. I do not. Angel does not. The local grocer, the car wash attendant, her dentist.. none of them know either. Really, you can't even make an educated guess about the words on a message board. They are chosen, edited and may or may not reflect reality or truth.. You just don't know.



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 12:43:04 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline 		I am sorry but I must fully disagree with barelynangel. I feel personal responsibility in refuting her advice.
quote:


bestheadyet -- what i am going to say will be unpopular with probably about 85% of the people even those who practice a type of M/s.


Of course that this will be unpopular, because this advice you have given her is entirely wrong and unethical for most people. Such advice would possibly be good for people like Daddysprop who live and breath slavery. But you are simply making possibly entirely wrong assumption that bestheafyet is like daddysprop. There are many people for whom such type of slavery is wrong and will always be wrong anf bestheadyet is maybe one of them.



quote:

However i will clarify, not everyone understands slavery that i speak of nor does everyone live in such a way. I have 8 years experience in the slavery my Master held me in and that is all i ever speak regarding


This is a very good point. If this worked for you and your Master, it may not work for bestheadyet.

quote:

. I am going to presume that your relationship of M/s is fairly new and i believe -- correct me if i am wrong -- you don't actually live with your master on a 24/7 basis. I will say this -- to me, within those two factors security of this type of relationship would be difficult to find and maintain. However, if your relationship is pretty new -- i would say within a year and even if you do live together, its always hard to find and maintain a balance of security when your autonomy is being ruled by another. You are not very different from most women who enter slavery.


How on Earth do you know if she is different or not? Slavery maybe is not a good choice for her.
quote:


No, you don't have to leave him, no you don't have to freak out saying you can't leave him, no you don't even need to contemplate wanting to leave.


That is true. You really don't have to do anything. However, if you are suffering in your relationship, if you feel insecure, if you have doubts, or if you simply feel that slavery and your relationship doesn't feel right for you for any reason whatsoever - then the most wise deceision you can make is to leave him as soon as possible.
About freaking out because you can't leave him - this makes me laugh - OF COURSE YOU CAN LEAVE HIM - it is only the thing do you want it or not? - My advice would be TO LEAVE HIM if you feel unhappy in any way or if your relationship doesn't feel right in ANY WAY WHATSOEVER.


quote:

 What you have to do is 1) take a deep breath -- deeper -- deeper; now kneel in front of him and simply exhale. Yeah i know kind of corny but its what you need to do if unable to literally than figuratively.


This doesn't make sense. Who are you to tell her to kneel in front of anyone? Her kneeling and her surrender is only her decision, not yours!


quote:

Now here is the part 85% of the people won't like. You don't NEED to know what his thoughts are. Yuo don't need a choice. You don't have the right to know. Kinda harsh and scary concepts, yes?


Of course that you don't need to know his thoughts, but you are ENTITLED TO KNOW HIS INTENTIONS REGARDING YOURSELF.
Do you need a choice is up to you. But I only know that you have FULL RIGHT TO HAVE A CHOICE.
And YOU HAVE FULL RIGHT TO KNOW ABOUT ALL HIS INTENTIONS THAT CAN AFFECT YOU.


quote:

However, once you as a slave become comfortable with these concepts, your life will be a lot more feeling of secure and balance.


Again, you don't know if she wants to be a slave or not. You don't know if this is right for her or not. Most people will NEVER be comgortable with these concepts and there are very good chances that bestheadyet is one of them.

quote:

Many slaves especially within the first year instinctively fight for controls they have had without thinking in other relationships. The control over their relationship, the control that they are "entitled" to certain things from their "partners" and the most instinctive, the right to know.


Not only slaves, but every sane human being. This is human nature. This is last attempt of being and ego to defend itself. This is fight against total emotional and mental breakdown. This is the fight that can have 2 completely different outcomes and each of them is good for some people and bad for the rest:

OUTCOME 1: Total surrender and slavery, giving up on all the rights - this is good outcome for very small minority of people such as daddysprop, bad for all the rest
OUTCOME 2: Rebellion and leaving relationship or reestablishing full control as an equal in relationship - this is good outcome for great majority of people, probably for you too bestheadyet.
quote:


As a slave, all of that mindset tends to be readjusted because of a slave's existance in a man's life. From your very short post it shoulds like you are creating your own insecurity because of the "unknown." The hardest thing for you to learn will be that you are now on a need to know basis for information -- EVEN pertaining to yourself. And no, lol, you do not get to determine what and when you need to know something.


Of course that she will determin when she needs to know something. This is the basic function of mind and brain.

quote:


Its a concept of trust and yes, its one as a slave you need to learn or else you will drive yourself nuts. Accept that you are not entitled to know, that you do not need to know what he has planned or what he is thinking etc.


You don't need to know what he is thinking, but you are FULLY ENTITLED TO KNOW WHAT IS HE PLANING TO DO TO YOU AND IN WHICH DIRECTION HE PLANS TO PUSH YOUR LIFE.
quote:


You have answered your own question on many levels about what he thinks with your statement of "keeping me in close range." That is all you need to know it appears. Could you be released -- yep. Could he change his mind -- yep. Could he wake up one day and decide he wants to be alone -- yep. There will ALWAYS be coulds. What you should be focusing on or should say learning to focus on is simply trusting him.


This is true. You should learn to trust him, but ONLY if you have EXTREMELY GOOD REASON TO DO IT. You should reevaluate him  every day and be very attentive and careful and watch for any hints that he might not have good intentions for you.

quote:

One thing about being a slave is your life is no longer your own.


Absolute bullshit! Your life is your own and will always be your own.

quote:

 You are trying to maintain control based upon what you used to live and what you are used too. You have a different way of living now. No its not a life of insecurity because the more you grow to trust him, the more control he takes and you relax into not having, the less you will fret about things and simply enjoy the existance he allows you.


This may be very true in some relationships, but this is not good for everyone.
There is actually a study that shows that the amount of stress is extremely decreased when all the freedom is lost. But this is not good for everyone.

quote:

It takes time. And yes, i would say the first year or so of slavery is a bitch, its hard, its full of adjustments, its full of confusion many times and it takes some getting used too. Don't let panic swallow you.


IMHO, in most cases anything that is really a good thing does not take any getting used to. It's extremely easy to get used to the good. It's extremely hard to get used to bad. Life never has to be a bitch. Gradual mastery of person and making her happy should feel good. I think that for Carol life with Jeff was very good all the time and she didn't have to pass through a bitchy year. Life being a bitch is a very good indicator that something about the relationship is very wrong.


quote:

You have an anchor - USE HIM! so many slaves try and get through all of this crap that they forget the one person that is there being the rock they can climb on when the waters get too high or they feel like they are drowning. I tell women all the time-- there is an ANSWER, its HIM. So take a deep breath and exhale for he is at the controls and you have to simply accept that.


This is perfectly true if HE is THE RIGHT ONE FOR HER. From her description of situation I wouldn't say so.
Also, she doesn't have to accept anything. If he is not right for her, if she is unhappy with him SHE SHOULD LEAVE.

quote:

 If you are having trouble, talk to him, tell him any way you can -- even if its losing your temper and saying HEY, i don't get this. Its okay not to understand. But if you try and maintain control by trying to fix it all on your own -- it will only take longer for you to be able to exhale and the fight could create a cost imbalance where he decides its too much for him to pay.


On this I agree completely. You should be open with him and talk to him openly about everything. Very good advice!

quote:

The way to avoid that is to turn towards the one thing as a slave that is tormenting you -- your Master. Only he can fix it for you or help you through your angst and unbalance.


This is true in good relationships. In bad relationships it's better to leave the Master.


quote:

He's the one that has drawn the map, he doesn't need to show it to you or explain it, however, if you keep trying to control where you go, you will eventually crash -- and that is never pretty.


He actually MUST show you the map and explain it to you. Only that way you can trust him and accept his direction wholeheartedly. If he is secretive about his plans for you, you should be extremely suspicious.


_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 12:49:06 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		There are Risks involved with any kind of relationship you establish with another human being in this world. Seriously, think about it for a moment.

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Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 12:52:35 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

There are Risks involved with any kind of relationship you establish with another human being in this world. Seriously, think about it for a moment.


This is true.

But risks vary enormously in intensity.
Some are very small, some are quite significant, but reasonable, and some are extreme  and quite unreasonable (such as playing Russian Roulette)

_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 12:53:01 PM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline 		Fast Reply - did not read through.

Sorry, didn't want to go all the way through this thread, I just wanted to throw in my two cents on the subject of porcelaine's comments. I have zero interest in TPE or IE for myself, or any relationship where anyone is referred to in sincerity as a slave.  I think I'm familiar enough with these things to know why they are not suitable for me. And I'll admit to considering IE, in particular, sort of dangerous. In the sense that tightrope walking is dangerous - not impossible and undoubtedly thrilling, but not within everyone's ability. Having said that, I've probably read, I dunno, a hundred or so of porcelaine's comments and she strikes me as one of the most conscientiously self-aware and self-actualized individuals I have ever encountered. Far from coming across as brainwashed, she has answers because she has given it a great deal of thought. And she makes a very interesting read for someone like myself who operates quite differently. Sorry if this point has already been made. Or if the "brainwashed" comment was ignored as obviously foolish. I just had a strong reaction to reading that because my impression of her is quite different.

ETA:
quote:

SocratesNot said:

Listen daddysprop!


Oh, no! I've had my fingers crossed for days that this wouldn't happen. I might have to go back and read the thread now.


< Message edited by Lucienne -- 5/27/2010 12:58:24 PM >

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 12:57:56 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		SocratesNot, why are you so unwilling to take the advice so many have wisely given you, of taking the time to actually learn and study these concepts before diving blindly headfirst into the cushy land of ignorance and condemnation?? the reality is, you do NOT know of what you speak. your words will just read as silly to some, but will be considered highly offensive to others. your ignorance (and please realize that i mean no insult by that word) will only get you a pass for so long. and i personally happen to believe that past a certain point ignorance is a choice.

< Message edited by daddysprop247 -- 5/27/2010 12:59:57 PM >

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 1:00:24 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

SocratesNot, why are you so unwilling to take the advice so many have wisely given you, of taking the time to actually learn and study these concepts before diving blindly headfirst into the cushy land of ignorance and condemnation?? the reality is, you do NOT know of what you speak. your words will just read as silly to some, but will be considered highly offensive to others. your ignorance (and please realize that i mean no insult by that word) will only get you a pass for so long. and i personally happen to believe that at a certain point ignorance is a choice.


Oh ....Iknow! I know!...


But I promised Alpha................

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Risks of internal enslavement aka TPE - 5/27/2010 1:08:42 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Absolute bullshit!



I have been saying that for days.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 100
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