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Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 8:01:47 PM

SocratesNot

Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
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C'mon people it is perfectly OK to be top or bottom.
It's perfectly OK to be interested just in some kinky play.
It's perfectly OK to be interested just in sessions.
It's perfectly OK to be submissive just in sex.
It's perfectly OK to be a fetishist.
It's perfectly OK to be a switch.
It's perfectly OK to be just kinky, without any official "role".
etc.... I hope you get it.

Nothing of these things make you any less real BDSM-er. Nothing of these things make you "fake".
Actually, when it comes to human relationships and sexuality, there is no concept of fake. Such concept does not exist.
There are only some bad people and deceivers, but as long as one does what he enjoys, nothing is fake.

You don't have to push yourself to uncomfortable territories just in order to prove that you are not fake.

So what are your thoughts about some things being "fake" and some "real"?

< Message edited by SocratesNot -- 5/27/2010 8:09:27 PM >

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RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 8:14:15 PM

RedMagic1

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Yes. But, there's something missing. I like power. Do you have any idea how many "vanilla" women on Match.com choose "Power" as a turn-on? On another of your threads, leadership pointed out to you that most people in this society are uncomfortable with power. You certainly are. You are much more comfortable thinking than wielding. But ideas don't produce change. Only the application of power to material reality produces change. Ideas can inspire and guide, but they are impotent until they are combined with force.

In vanilla life, I enjoy changing things, making the world a little closer to what I think it should become. That requires power. And, in my private life, I love love love to play with power. Some people choose to make power transfer the centerpiece of their relationships. You do not understand this, and you fear it, so you try to talk people out of doing it. But.... your words are powerless to stop them.

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(in reply to SocratesNot)

Post #: 2

RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 8:19:38 PM

SocratesNot

Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
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Not wanting to do it your way doesn't make them fake, RedMagic.

I am completely OK with your preferences, but people who don't share these preferences are not fake.

< Message edited by SocratesNot -- 5/27/2010 8:30:21 PM >

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Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
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RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 8:26:07 PM

WyldHrt

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He never said it did, SN. Not everyone here tries to tell others how they should act or feel.

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RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 8:28:00 PM

LadyPact

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Pssssst.

Truth of the matter is, topping and bottoming have a lot more connection to BDSM than many M/s dynamics do.

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RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 8:32:49 PM

SocratesNot

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Joined: 5/17/2010
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quote:

Pssssst.

Truth of the matter is, topping and bottoming have a lot more connection to BDSM than many M/s dynamics do.

I also tend to think so. Pure M/s is IMHO totally different concept from both BDSM and D/s, and M/s is hardest to understand.

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Post #: 6

RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 8:34:43 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Pssssst.

Truth of the matter is, topping and bottoming have a lot more connection to BDSM than many M/s dynamics do.

amen! (says the agnostic, lol)

i have personally always viewed tops and bottoms, and the dynamics they engage in, as much more the core of what BDSM really stands for, than lifestyle Dominance and submission or M/s. it is why my Master and i always make clear we do not live a "BDSM lifestyle."

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 7

RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 8:37:54 PM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
and M/s is hardest to understand.

For you. For me, I have a difficult time understanding how D/s or being a bottom would be fulfilling for me. Actually, I will go even farther to say it would be impossible for me to have a D/s relationship with him or be his bottom with him only having authority within play. We would be extremely unhappy and stressed trying to be something that we are not.

Knight's Kyra

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RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 8:45:16 PM

SocratesNot

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Joined: 5/17/2010
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quote:

For you. For me, I have a difficult time understanding how D/s or being a bottom would be fulfilling for me. Actually, I will go even farther to say it would be impossible for me to have a D/s relationship with him or be his bottom with him only having authority within play. We would be extremely unhappy and stressed trying to be something that we are not.

Knight's Kyra

Perfect. But for most people M/s is far harder to grasp then BDSM and D/s.

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RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 8:45:24 PM

Silence8

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

Not wanting to do it your way doesn't make them fake, RedMagic.

I am completely OK with your preferences, but people who don't share these preferences are not fake.

I think you should recognize the reversal: fake is the real real.

You should strive toward falsity, and you're achieve something actually real.

Most people pretend to themselves and to others that they are real, they even manage to forget that they are not, except in those little moments when the real falsity slips back out.

(in reply to SocratesNot)

Post #: 10

RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 9:24:58 PM

afkarr

Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline

I'll let you in on a little helpful tidbit, SN- the "lifestyle" crowd tends to view those of us in the kinky sex crowd, i.e. "bedroom" Doms and subs- as not quite as "real" as them, we just "players" and the ever so popular "fakes". It's just the way it is. The only thing that really matters is whether your relationship dynamics are working for you and your partner. If the opinions of others don't directly impact you, ignore them.

(in reply to Silence8)

Post #: 11

RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 10:24:26 PM

rubyrain

Posts: 13
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline

That is a pretty big leap you make Red regarding SN's comment that fear has anything to do with his comment. Applying the same type of assumptions you made, your comments about the power you need show you to be extremely insecure. But I would not make any such grand assumptions such as yours.

I agree with afkarr.

(in reply to afkarr)

Post #: 12

RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 10:47:54 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

Dude, all it takes is to be into what ONE or more of the letters of what BDSM represents to be into BDSM. Some people are just into more letters compared to others. Seriously, everything ain't about D/s or M/s down the line, nor is everybody into S&M either.

Some people are into S&M without any desire for D/s or M/s or TPE. You seem to have some stereotype notions about things to be on the offensive (for whatever reason) with such an opening post for a thread.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 5/27/2010 10:48:26 PM >

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RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 11:11:46 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Look around, Whiplash, it's his modus operandi!!

The word FAKE gets tossed around by those who love to complain, by those who have no social skills, by those who think the world of themselves yet get rejected time after time. I said "no" to some fool on the other side of the country who wants a keyholder, when I make it clear that I want locals, and have no interest in chastity. Voila, I am FAKE!

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Post #: 14

RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/27/2010 11:41:42 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

you ARE bringing your fake self to FL in a couple of months, yes?

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RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/28/2010 12:04:42 AM

reynardfox

Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline

Just because someone is a charlatan does not make them a fake, a real fake.
I am often contacted by women who I know for a fact will never have the nerve to meet me. It's a wank for them and I am the object of that wank. I don't mind this at all, nor the fellers either, everyone has to get off the best they can and some people are simply lacking the nerve to get out there in the jungle.
These relationships are not actually false, they are getting something out of it, it amuses me, and it means that they can write down what they like and experience some self expression. I hate to say it, but it would take a pretty poor grasp of the world for someone not to realise that the person on the other end of the computer web is not going to turn up.
Voyeurism, cock teasing, call it what you will, time wasting? Possibly.
Since I already have submissive friends to play with and a damn good relationship with my wife, I don't need to get worked up over the odd missed fuck.
There is a distinct air of frustration and desperation about posts slagging off fakes and fakers, usually by blokes no one their right mind would ever want to meet anyway. At least the fakers got their hopes up for them.
When I read "Why am I having trouble finding a slave? I just get responded to by fakes" I simply assume that another bad tempered no hoper is getting his hair off.
If you can't pull here, you certainly wouldn't pull in a munch or a club.
Live with it. At least the fakes give them something to do.

< Message edited by reynardfox -- 5/28/2010 12:06:10 AM >

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Post #: 16

RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/28/2010 12:35:58 AM

monzetsu

Posts: 6
Joined: 5/25/2010
From: Auburn
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Yes. But, there's something missing. I like power. Do you have any idea how many "vanilla" women on Match.com choose "Power" as a turn-on? On another of your threads, leadership pointed out to you that most people in this society are uncomfortable with power. You certainly are. You are much more comfortable thinking than wielding. But ideas don't produce change. Only the application of power to material reality produces change. Ideas can inspire and guide, but they are impotent until they are combined with force.

Everyone loves to attain or give up power. It's pretty damn hot to obtain it :)

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 17

RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/28/2010 1:30:04 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

Some people hide behind the safety of the internet with a self proclaimed lifestyle that doesn't exist in reality.
Some people, often the above, make judgment on others because in their romantic minds they actually believe their false selves and so does everyone else!!
Some people will bully, yes bully and tell others that they are doing it wrong, are just wankers etc, etc.
Some people are even 'brave' enough to pass harsh judgment, especially if the people they like and respect have made judgment before them (those are people who like being led)
Some people couldn't care less what your into, so long as your happy.
Some people are much more chilled about this than others.
Some people couldn't care less if your new to this site or like starting threads.

So I believe that there certainly are fakes and I believe that its often the fakes that point a finger at others because it takes the attention away them. I also believe that people on here are more likely to be their 'true selves' or how they would like to be. In rl they are far more timid and unlike here, where they suffer no fools, in rl they suffer plenty. Nothing wrong with that. If the internet gives someone the confidence to speak out, so long as they don't get carried away with their new found confidence!

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 5/28/2010 1:31:20 AM >

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RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/28/2010 3:05:37 AM

JhonDean

Posts: 84
Joined: 3/26/2010
Status: offline

quote:

The word FAKE gets tossed around by those who love to complain, by those who have no social skills, by those who think the world of themselves yet get rejected time after time.

I have a reoccurring thinking with the word fake, the only fakes I have ever known were those who lie to themselves, their doctors and lawyers.
The rest just see things differently from me and I am very comfortable with the knowledge they are wrong.

< Message edited by JhonDean -- 5/28/2010 3:08:18 AM >

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Post #: 19

RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers - 5/28/2010 4:00:05 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

So anyone who likes something different than the op is somehow 'pushing themselves' and deliberately making themselves uncomfortable? Oy veh!

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