RE: Slavery is bullshit

RE: Slavery is bullshit (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 12:05:27 PM)
quote: - stop using the Internet (already mentioned) - not being allowed to eat your favorite food or drink (think of chocolate, strawberries, french fries, milk shake, beer, wine, steak, cherries, watermelon, popcorn, orange juice, whatever is your favorite food or drink) - not being allowed to listen to your favorite type of music or your favorite band or composer - no more television - no more movies (or only those that Master orders you to watch) - reading only the books that Master approves of - pursuing only the hobbies that Master approves of (erase your favorite hobbies from your memory, they are gone) etc. Actually, SocratesNot, I did all of the things you mention above, and it had nothing to do with an M/s relationship. All of those things were part of the 9 years I spent in training for the esoteric path on which I teach. Everything had to be approved by my teachers, they read my mail before I got to see it (and if they thought it would be too much of a distraction, it was put aside... only true emergencies where my presence/involvement would actually make a difference were exempted, and you'd be surprised how few "true emergencies" there really are)... No TV, movies, hobbies, music -- even what I ate and the schedule I kept were designed to narrow my focus to my esoteric studies. I find it interesting that people in our culture find this behavior so controversial in this generation. Such quests and immersions used to be considered an important part of one's personal development... from Catholic confirmation education to Scout badge-earning to ministry training to sorority/fraternity hazing, all of these are designed to pull the focus inward to the individual and the specific person/group in question. Or perhaps it is just that we can't extrapolate behaviors in other areas of our lives and apply those concepts broadly as we see how we react to different situations. To me, K/k (M/s) is not such an extreme way of living that it has no foundation in the "real world" -- rather, I see that we are -all- enslaved to something (often many things) in our lives. Simply look at the things that you can't walk away from, and see what your relationship is to the other aspects of that thing (Example: are you the manager or the managee? Do you run the show, or do you do the down-and-dirty-labor, or a little of both? Do you own the credit, or does the credit own you?) In recognizing our own complicity/responsibility in the shaping of our overall life, decisions to enter into relationships that expand on the concepts and behaviors that fulfill us is less strange than many of us "get off" on thinking that it is.

TazDevil -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 12:09:52 PM)
being a save today out side of BDSM just means your forced to be a prostitute in India for life

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 12:14:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Okay, someone take on the differences between dominance and abuse, okay? I'm outta here!! Very, very simple. Dominance isn't something that is dependent on anyone else... it is the process of being in control... whether it is of one's own life or one's own life -and- someone else's. Abuse is destruction. It isn't about creating, shaping, directing, or guiding... it is about destroying, bullying, or damaging. The way that one can tell them apart is to look at the situation in its "big picture" framework -- is this situation productive and growth-promoting for everyone involved? If it is, regardless of how anyone outside the relationship labels it, it is a healthy relationship. If it is not, and if someone is being damaged in the relationship, regardless of whether the party being damaged stays in that relationship willingly or not, it is STILL an abusive relationship. This applies in M/s relationships and in EVERY OTHER INTERACTION between human beings that exists. If someone is being damaged, it is abusive. If everyone involved is growing and healthy, regardless of how it looks, it is healthy-- and if it is an authority dynamic and is healthy, then the person running the show is the dominant party... whether it is a sexual authority dynamic, a service authority dynamic, a business authority dynamic, or a military authority dynamic (or just about any other hierarchical dynamic you can imagine). Calla

NuevaVida -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 12:16:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: porcelaine CallaFirestormBW, quote: I would beg to differ. IMO, an aware, connected Keeper -will- have the capacity to both appreciate and understand the emotional and psychological bond that the Kept have... He understands because he's fully invested in the relationship. ~porcelaine Bingo.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 12:35:23 PM)
quote: Ask any doctor, he'll tell you - stress is not healthy. Untrue. "DIStress" is unhealthy. EUstress is a form of stress that actually is constructive and helpful... and learning to deal with stress by changing it from "distress" to "eustress" can improve the state of one's life AND ones health a great deal. Just a few references: Eustress at work: The relationship between hope and health in hospital nurses BL Simmons, DL Nelson - Health Care Management Review, 2001 The impacts of positive psychological states on physical health: A review and theoretical framework JR Edwards, CL Cooper - Social Science & Medicine, 1988 Eustress, distress, and interpretation in occupational stress M Le Fevre, J Matheny, GS Kolt - Journal of Managerial …, 2003 A model of the eustress system for health/illness JH Milsum - Behavioral Science, 2007

LadyAngelika -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 12:48:26 PM)
Indeed Calla. Or he can also go right to the source, Hans Selye, the man who first wrote about stress and has to this date done the most research on it. http://www.icnr.com/articles/thenatureofstress.html The article has a great breakdown of what stress is and is not. - LA

lally2 -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 12:55:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 this is not a dig in any direction whatsover, just im curious. how is a dominant qualified to comment on what a submissive or slave feels when owned or enslaved. since a dominant is dominant im assuming they have no actual submissive tendencies sufficient to appreciate the emotional and psychological bond a slave or sub feels - and i dont give a toss about titles, they simply serve the purpose of shorthand descriptives. I would beg to differ. IMO, an aware, connected Keeper -will- have the capacity to both appreciate and understand the emotional and psychological bond that the Kept have... and will be able to understand, as well, the day-to-day fluctuations and ongoing ups and downs that go along with keeping even the most dedicated individual. One does not have to -be- dominant to understand dominance... and one does not have to -be- submissive to understand the submissive mindset. In fact, one must understand the mindset in order to know oneself well enough to realize that one is not fulfilled as one or the other (or that one is fulfilled with some combination of the two). In the same way, I would anticipate that a kept individual would both appreciate and understand the nature of the one who does the Keeping -- otherwise, it would be far too easy to subject oneself to relationships where the one doing the Keeping is unsuited to the task... where there is plenty of 'bark' but no 'bite', so to speak. Calla well, we will have to agree to differ then[:D] - . i can get the emotions he feels and the whole rest of it. but i will never ever fully know what they feel when they beat me and hear me cry, what that sensation is in their chest or their gut or wherever it is. i will never know how much they want it or how much they want to do more and how it feels to pull back or push their sadism on because i am not dominant and i dont have those drives and i am not a sadist. ive seen their pupils dilate when i kneel infront of them and look up and i know theyre feeling, responding but i have no idea what that feeling is or what theyre thinking or how deep down it goes a Dominant might be able to feel the submissives energy, her mood, her eagerness her fear or trepidation but he will never know what it actually feels like, that feeling in youre belly, the light headedness, that buzz of 'space', that tickly feeling in youre cunt, the way it makes you squirm, how the sound of his voice sends youre brain into fuzzy, that absolute vulnerability because they are not submissive and will never respond to the triggers we respond to or how for each person those triggers are different and the feelings are different. and on a purely emotional level the depth of connection i have felt goes way beyond anything i experienced before. i have been dug into and shoehorned out, wormed from my protective shell and prized wide open - i trust and hand all control over - those two things are quite hard to achieve, it took work for me to actually trust totally and submit totally into TPE. i just think its unlikely for a Dominant to actually know how it feels to actually submit on a mental, psychobabble sort of a way since its different for everyone and for many subs that i can think of it has taken quite a while, been quite a journey, turned some sharp learning curves and taken them along a path of personal growth and change.

laurell3 -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 12:56:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 Just out of curiousity, what's the reasoning behind the public display of knitting? It makes ya look goofy? [:D] chuckles I don't rightly recall how it occurred. But it was a while back when the three of us where having alittle playful teasing and banter about Kyra taking up knitting and becoming an old lady. I very flippenly said she couldn't knit in public as part of the fun that we where having at the time I have since never thought to reverse the decision and she actually has never ask permission to knit in public. Now after this thread... I am thinking that I will not reverse the decision if she even asks... just because... it's fun! Some decisions one makes is going to have deep implications and the much thought go into such decision. Then there is those decisions that are whims with an intent of playfulness and fun. So... Burn the yarn.... burn baby burn! That's awesome and humorous KoM. So if we were to slip kyra yarn like by carrier pigeon or something....that would be bad right?

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 12:56:16 PM)
Thank you, Dame Calla! I knew you would have the references. :) They're falling on a deaf ear in SN's case, but you never know!

WyldHrt -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 12:57:53 PM)
quote: and for you subversive individuals that believe Kyra should be allowed to knit in public... well... all I can say is that it's time for a good ole fashion yarn burning party!!!!!!! I will squash this rebellion!!!! starts building a bunker and hiding the yarn Never!!! [:D]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 12:59:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyldHrt quote: and for you subversive individuals that believe Kyra should be allowed to knit in public... well... all I can say is that it's time for a good ole fashion yarn burning party!!!!!!! I will squash this rebellion!!!! starts building a bunker and hiding the yarn Never!!! [:D] runs for the asbestos gloves

WyldHrt -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 1:08:39 PM)
Better watch it KoM, there are more yarnophiles on here than you know. [:D] starts plotting a yarn rescue operation with Hib [8D]

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 1:10:27 PM)
Umm...you guys seem to be confusing 'in public' with 'at all, ever'.... Juuuuuuuust saying....

Jeffff -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 1:11:51 PM)
Does this also apply to crocheting? This could be important.

laurell3 -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 1:13:08 PM)
no VC he's going beyond that to burning all yarn! The horror! I tell ya...he's mad! Save the yarn, kyra must knit!

WyldHrt -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 1:13:27 PM)
His fault, VC. He mentioned yarn burning. [;)] [/hijack] ducks and runs before the mods see this

MsMillgrove -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 1:15:43 PM)
@SocratesNot Answer to your query: would you explain to us why you forbid use of internet. Rather not detail it, but it was sound medical reason, and relatively rare. I would not chose such a harsh measure for arbitrary reasons. To give a similiar example: Decades ago, my husband had a debilitating stroke. The neurologist required him to limit his television viewing time. The dr. explained why he believed that it was not good for a stroke patient to watch tv for extended times. My husband did not follow that direction and as a result his recovery was severely impacted. He would not have had the stroke even.. if he'd followed the directions of his cardiologist. He was not my sub. It was hard to stand by helplessly watching what happened as a result of his choices. It destroyed his quality of life. And left me alone with five children. I decided then, I'd never put myself in that type of situation again. Not often, but once in a great while, a dom/me can require something of a slave--for his/her own good--that the slave might not be able to achieve without that directive. I think this is one of the benefits of obedience in the d/s relationship for a sub/slave. A truly loving andor responsible dom/me might make a very hard decision or even chose a path that will cost the dom considerable anguish...in order to fulfill the duty to care for the slave. When that list of rather drastic commands went forth, I thought, most of the time, these extremes would not be sensible or necesary. It's only my way, not a general statement about others, but I feel that asking for obendience on issues that are not especially related to the welfare of the d/s relationship or the welfare of the slave isn't productive. That's just me. We can't know "why" a master might give a directive to a slave, unelss he/she shares their reasoning. Sometimes, there are good reasons why the Master doesn't want to "explain", I respect that as well, as there have been times where if I had to explain exactly "why" I made a specific request.. well the whole point of the exercise would be lost. I think you know what I mean in that. Can't think of a good example right now. edit--I missed Calla's post when I was writing this.. wow that is fascinating. And does give support to the arbitrary decision, yet it also confirms my general idea, that the overall welfare of the slave is essential. Her success in learning the esoteric teachings was a solid reason for seemingly drastic measures. Thank you for sharing Calla--what dedication you must have had then (and perhaps still of course) to achieve that goal.

leadership527 -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 1:22:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Does this also apply to crocheting? This could be important. Don't you think we'd need to start a thread on whether or not crocheting is true knitting before we could answer that question. I do have to say though, it's blatantly true to me that Knight's gone off the deep end on this one. I mean seriously, an entire ban on yarn just to stop knitting? That would prevent other key activities like winding yarn around class rings to make them fit smaller fingers.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 1:24:02 PM)
Crocheting is not knitting! Not at ALLLLL!!! KoM is truly strict and ferocious. Obviously he is great in the sack, or Kyra wouldn't be knitting in the closet! [:D]

laurell3 -> RE: Slavery is bullshit (5/29/2010 1:24:02 PM)
Aw hell think of all the poor grade school kids and all their art projects......cries KoM is so mean!

Page: << < prev 9 10 [11] 12 13 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875