laurell3
Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SocratesNot quote:
For me submission is more action oriented. i can submit to anything, anyone, by my choice, at anytime - i don't have to have a "feeling" in order to do so. Hehe, that's what I was talking about in previous thread     quote:
Now i've realized that submission is something that i do - it is expressing that deepest part of myself, namely, my submissive core, by my actions. And often simply that expression of my submission brings out the Dominance in a Man, and, ta da, power exchange - i experience it a lot right now as i'm having conversations with potential Owners as an unowned slave. This would be a perfect advice on "how to feel more submissive" with this very notable exception....UniqueRaven has actually done it and she is speaking about HER own point of view. Nor would I think your premise that "acting submissive" will MAKE someone more Dominant or MAKE someone want to submit to someone they aren't identifying as dominant, comes close to fitting her statements, especially for other people. In response to the cakeless, bratty, but very wise and adorable lally, for me I think it is both. I mean, certainly there are people I could never submit to, because while I may be a feeling of fondness for them, and possibly even sexual attraction, I do not get that feeling that they are someone I could be that vulnerable with or submit to. I associate that as being a feeling. However, I think UniqueRaven is correct also, in that feelings are transitory and trying to describe or note their presence or absence can be like defining love. Maybe it's I do not have the state of mind, it doesn't matter, it's still the same, no matter how you characterize it. I've had some fantastic vanilla relationships with absolutely wonderful men that were still lacking because of this lack of whatever you want to call it. I also agree that it is very much an action or state of mind in this regard. Once I have that feeling, trust, and relationship with someone, I continue to be submissive to them in my thoughts, and feelings. Yes, even exes, I have to stop myself from doing odd things that aren't fitting with the current state of friendship sometimes (so it isn't just about a current dynamic). At that point, I don't stop to examine it, I don't really even know per se that I am doing it, it just is. Additionally, I can say even in relationships there are moments when that state of mind is very much enhanced and highlighted and I change in my demeanor, presentation, personality, desires that IS an overwhelming FEELING of submission in my opinion. However, I think also that having a personality that would be characterized as submissive and being a submissive in the d/s aspect are two different things. I don't tend to have the first at all. I have heard many argue that means I am not the later. I cannot submit to a chair (tongue in cheek, not a criticism) and in fact, I could not feel submissive with or submit to the vast majority of people I have encountered in "the lifestyle". But yet, I know and he knows that I very much am with the right person. So yes, for me, it is both a feeling and an action or state of mind. Finally, for me, it isn't just as simple as the reaction we hear here often of "oh she's just a bedroom submissive" which is a ridiculous phrase I have grown to accept, but don't feel it's really true. I can tell you that many things that aren't about that can very much be controlled by someone I have the feeling or state of mind for. I don't know the answer even totally for myself, I don't think there is one that's universal at all. I think we all vary dramatically in our own wonderful, quirky, unique and special ways.
< Message edited by laurell3 -- 5/30/2010 5:02:44 PM >
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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence. When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.
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