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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 2:54:14 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Well we have no clue what SHE is like, ChocoSaviour. Though not checking in with a friend the day they have big dental work? Not bringing them food to wash down the oxycontin? Hmm.

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 3:01:49 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Gawd, DG, didn't your mother ever wash your mouth out with soap?  I bet when you start talking, hardened soldiers run out of the room with their fingers in their ears.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
Have any of you reached a time or a place where you have thought "this is not the day to fuck with me?".....Everyone has.


Yes.  The occasions when I've had trouble with my teeth would be excellent examples of those times.  For me to notice even the existence of any other person is usually bad news for that person, whoever he or she is. 



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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 3:11:39 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Lots of my geek friends are gamers! They left me behind at pinball, I'm afraid... But that's okay, none of them can knit!

~~

Regarding this particular cluster, I must agree with Domi (OMG AGAIN ANOTHER SIGN OF THE END TIMES!) and say that there's a tool for every task.


My ex can knit and play World of Warcraft. Well ok, not at the same time, but still


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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 3:42:38 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


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quote:

However, that doesnt change my response regarding compulsive disorders. I will also say that "getting help" for such a disorder as someone pointed out he should even today still carries alot of stigma and unless you have insurance that covers therapy, therapy is very expensive and even if you do have insurance you have to be in a place were you are willing and able to face those compulsions and why they exist.


I disagree completely. Compulsion is going out to buy the game and figuring they can discuss it later. Instead he took the time to call her to ask permission, couldn't get ahold of her and went  out to buy the game anyway. With compulsion there is the need to do whatever it is NOW not after a stop to make a phone call to ask permission.


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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 3:46:29 PM   
DaddysInkedSlut


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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

However, that doesnt change my response regarding compulsive disorders. I will also say that "getting help" for such a disorder as someone pointed out he should even today still carries alot of stigma and unless you have insurance that covers therapy, therapy is very expensive and even if you do have insurance you have to be in a place were you are willing and able to face those compulsions and why they exist.


I disagree completely. Compulsion is going out to buy the game and figuring they can discuss it later. Instead he took the time to call her to ask permission, couldn't get ahold of her and went  out to buy the game anyway. With compulsion there is the need to do whatever it is NOW not after a stop to make a phone call to ask permission.




I disagree. Infact I know many alchoholics , addicts, and people with compulsive disorders who would disagree as well. Often times people try and reach sponsors or support people and when they can't they fall into old patterns weather its taking a drink, shopping or doing a line. Sometimes that one phone call does make the difference in controling your urges.

< Message edited by DaddysInkedSlut -- 5/31/2010 4:30:20 PM >

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 4:40:39 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
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From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

I disagree. Infact I know many alchoholics , addicts, and people with compulsive disorders who would disagree as well. Often times people try and reach sponsors or support people and when they can't they fall into old patterns weather its taking a drink, shopping or doing a line. Sometimes that one phone call does make the difference in controling your urges.


Sure, except he called to ask permission to do it not to get help to not do it. He wasn't trying to get help to not follow his "compulsion" at all and that's the difference here.


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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 5:17:02 PM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

But announcing punishment for spending $20 or $40 is to take his $300 console? And not lock it away from him for two weeks as punishment but take it permanently which is how it read to me?

Read it again, Des. The punishment was to be her taking the game and console temporarily.


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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 5:17:47 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I thought she was more of a crocheter, THB! :)

Zephy and Inky both have good points. In this case, it just looks like Lurch was being himself, figuring forgiveness woukd take the place of permission.


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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 5:40:36 PM   
lurch999


Posts: 52
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline 		i don't use oxycontin, and we spent the day together after the procedure

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Profile   Post #: 89
RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 5:42:46 PM   
lurch999


Posts: 52
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline 		no, not permanently. a week.

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Profile   Post #: 90
RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 5:59:13 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I really think that most people are idiots. it's my gift.

Ever have a day that you simply don't want to be fucked with?

I vant to be alone.

Part of the deal in any relationship is knowing that there are times to back off. There are times when and where people need their space. To not recognize "this fact" makes you a rather fucked up soul.

Yeah.  And when I do, I don't specifically go over to someone else's house.  When I want to be alone, I go to My House, sit in front of My computer, and do what I feel like doing.  Pretty simple solution.

Of course, if you'd like, we can debate back and forth for another couple of pages on whether he was instructed by his Dominant to go to her place after the appointment or he just decided to drop in without knowing which is the case.
quote:

I am going off of one single post.

I'm not, but we've been over that already.

quote:

You are forced to accept rehab projects because you are in such a state of bankruptcy you cannot begin to afford anything better.

So sad.


(imho)YMMV




Oh, but haven't you heard?  If we don't accept someone with more than average pre-existing issues, we aren't caring about a supposed sub enough as a person.  Heaven forbid we ever say anything such as no drug abusers, active alcoholics, or any other compulsive type disorder!  Then, we are asking for people to be perfect and not being sympathetic enough toward the people needing help.

Hmmmm.  A potential submissive with his act together or somebody that hasn't worked out detrimental issues that will negatively effect a D/s dynamic?  Dang.  The difficulties that one must face when selecting options.


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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 6:03:19 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lurch999

no, not permanently. a week.

Sounds like you got away with disobeying. So what do you care how we would have handled it? Seems you just wanted to brag a bit about how cleaver you are and how you can wrap your Domina around your finger.

You spent the day together after the incident, shows that she at least had some concern over your well being after the procedure.

Congratulations on being the Top in your dynamic

MoGa

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 6:07:08 PM   
blackpearl81


Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline 		*FR*

Here's the short & curlies of it:

He was told not to do something. Belay that - he *agreed* to certain condition(s) (Condition being: Not to make purchases w/o prior approval)
He did it anyway.
The DIQ (Heh. Domme In Question) gets pissed & release(s)/ed him.


Can't say I'm surprised. She can't trust you with something simple, like checking in before buying something. What makes you think she can trust him in more serious matters?

Pretty cut & dry if you ask me.

As for what I would have done in the situation? I would have found something else to occupy my time.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy video games as much as the next guy, but there's also other things that (I personally) do to take my mind off of stuff.

< Message edited by blackpearl81 -- 5/31/2010 6:11:03 PM >

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 6:22:02 PM   
lurch999


Posts: 52
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa


quote:

ORIGINAL: lurch999

no, not permanently. a week.

Sounds like you got away with disobeying. So what do you care how we would have handled it? Seems you just wanted to brag a bit about how cleaver you are and how you can wrap your Domina around your finger.

You spent the day together after the incident, shows that she at least had some concern over your well being after the procedure.

Congratulations on being the Top in your dynamic

MoGa



Thanks! It is always nice to talk to people with the internet!

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Profile   Post #: 94
RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 6:27:02 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL:
Oh, but haven't you heard?  If we don't accept someone with more than average pre-existing issues, we aren't caring about a supposed sub enough as a person.  Heaven forbid we ever say anything such as no drug abusers, active alcoholics, or any other compulsive type disorder!  Then, we are asking for people to be perfect and not being sympathetic enough toward the people needing help.


Oh hell.  Yes, I've seen that pressure on dommes.  I've also seen the pressure dommes have on them to be pristine-perfect of both body and mind.  Quite frequently, that pressure comes from other dommes, too.

FWIW, one reason I can't get my head around the OP's problem is a part of me keeps thinking:  So what?  You had a row.  People have rows.  People aren't balanced.  Men are screwballs and women are nutty.  All of my ex partners have been dingbats in one way or another.  I probably wouldn't know what to do with a sane woman.  They give me the creeps, anyway.

Clearly, the OP is a headbanger and so is his domme.  It would possibly help, I expect, if both were less so.  But I don't recall him saying that she didn't love him, nor him her.  If each makes a stupendous effort to be sane, and talk properly to the other, I'm sure the problem can be resolved. 

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 6:33:26 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I thought she was more of a crocheter, THB! :)
Now that you say that, yea I think your right. I'll just blame it on old age

Zephy and Inky both have good points. In this case, it just looks like Lurch was being himself, figuring forgiveness woukd take the place of permission.
Yea, could be. I know I am just glad mine didn't care what I spent my money on, as long as I could pay my bills.



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Profile   Post #: 96
RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 8:40:19 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		lurch999, I agree with MaGa. You are the top in your relationship. You came to ask us what we thought or would do and we told you. So sorry you didn't like it.   

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 5/31/2010 8:41:17 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut

I am honestly sitting here shaking my head at the thought that people go hunting for the OPs other posts so that he can be called on them in this thread. I am all for personal accountability but there are people like myself who havent read prior posts from the OP. Who take this OP at face value. Who don't have the time or inclination to go searching his past posts to proof he isn't a slave or a submissive.


I don't go looking - I just happened upon the other thread because our boy had posted in it. I don't know that anyone else went searching for proof - just examples to show why they feel how they do about him.

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RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/1/2010 1:42:24 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix
Ah, well. I don't know any adults who play video and computer games. We must know very different types of people.


You know one adult, at least.  I'm a Combat Flight Simulator 3 Ace.   I've taken down hundreds of Focke-Wulfs in my Spitfire to date.
I can verify this. He never shuts up about the bloody thing.

(I say this with the very greatest love and affection, though, dearest...:P)



That's odd. He's never mentioned it to me. In any case, I find it highly debatable whether we could class Peon as an adult.

I'd never get seriously involved with someone who wasted his time playing computer games. I try to use my spare time productively, and am most compatible with someone who does the same. Perhaps the OP's domina is of the same ilk, and was more annoyed about the blasted computer games than the disobedience? Without hearing her side of the story, it's impossible to say what's really happening here.

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Profile   Post #: 99
RE: What would you do in this situation? - 6/1/2010 6:13:05 AM   
lurch999


Posts: 52
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline 		The first generation that grew up with games (mine) still plays them in significant numbers.

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Profile   Post #: 100
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