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RE: Job Applications? - 6/3/2010 9:06:56 AM

UniqueRaven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

UniqueRaven,

quote:

For me, if i'm not aware of what the "layers" actually are, they have no utility in service.

Awareness meaning you're clueless or unable to pinpoint why they exist?

Not clueless - i view the "layers" as aspects of my self, such as my fundamental motivations, my strengths and weaknesses, and so on. People talk about "peeling back the layers" but do they really know what they are? (separate thread - and i address this again below)

quote:

quote:

Some are useful, some are not - and that ultimate determination is up to my future Owner, of course, which right now is a grey area. So at this stage it is more about being ready than anything else.

Are you suggesting that the structure remains "as is" until the owner arrives and provides his own customization?

No - self improvement is always ongoing. But what happens with that is ultimately up to him. Again, it is more about being present and ready.

quote:

quote:

The key is in the awareness and the processing of the "stuff" - which if i am reading you right, you are referring to as "layers."

I define them as illusions and impediments to the self - the core that we're referencing. Some are good and others not so good but each exists for a reason.

Again, we can talk about illusions and impediments - but until they are specifically defined, they exist only in the abstract.

quote:

quote:

it doesn't take much to get to the core of my soul.

How do you know when you're there?

i have many, many years of deep meditative yoga practice - kundalini being primary. i have explored the lotus of my heart for a long, long time - and it never ends. But i lay it open pretty easily. This is separate from my submission - but it deeply enhances it. And yes, i know when i'm there - now it becomes the matter of giving that to another again. i don't see getting to the core of my soul as his responsibility alone.

This thread is drifting now....i suggest if the discussion is to continue to start a new thread.

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RE: Job Applications? - 6/3/2010 9:22:59 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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UniqueRaven,

quote:

Not clueless - i view the "layers" as aspects of my self, such as my fundamental motivations, my strengths and weaknesses, and so on. People talk about "peeling back the layers" but do they really know what they are? (separate thread - and i address this again below)

That's why I posed the question to ascertain if we were looking at them in a similar fashion. And yes, I know.

quote:

Again, we can talk about illusions and impediments - but until they are specifically defined, they exist only in the abstract.

Not necessarily so. Awareness and knowing are different animals. Sometimes the latter is intentionally avoided. But it doesn't mean the individual is in the dark. I'm in agreement about definitions. But then we're getting into another subject altogether.

quote:

And yes, i know when i'm there - now it becomes the matter of giving that to another again. i don't see getting to the core of my soul as his responsibility alone.

I've been k-active for years. We should dish sometime.

I really enjoy the descent. My journey has been heavily influenced by a desire to transform and actualize. I suspect this is why I embrace evolution a little easier.

Thanks for sharing.

~porcelaine

< Message edited by porcelaine -- 6/3/2010 10:13:12 AM >

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RE: Job Applications? - 6/3/2010 10:06:00 AM

Whiplashsmile4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven
but i do come out with that it is my Owner's journey that feeds mine - even though both journeys are valid and need equal support for the success of the relationship. It is what i need for it to be so...

It's like Don Quixote with Dulcinea del Toboso at his side instead of Sancho Panza. =-) But enough of the Man of La Mancha...

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Post #: 43

RE: Job Applications? - 6/3/2010 10:56:06 AM

kuppykake

Posts: 125
Joined: 7/22/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

kuppykake,

quote:

I suppose a slave should show that person why they would be worthy, but I see what you are saying...it is rather ironic.

Others have questioned this approach but I'm curious and would appreciate additional insight if possible. How might an unowned slave prove her worth to a prospective dominant in your opinion?

~porcelaine

Perhaps I should rephrase: I can understand why a slave would feel a need to list reasons why they would be a fit slave for a Dom/me. It really depends on the individual, like whether or not the two are compatible. Yes, it does seem a bit like a job application in a literal sense, but it's really about matching one's needs with another....give and take. I think what is important is getting to know each other on a personal level before jumping into any bdsm scenes, however, the whole requirements for a dom/sub thing might be a method of saving time. I may not be making sense here, oh well it makes sense in my head haha.

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Post #: 44

RE: Job Applications? - 6/3/2010 11:26:51 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tappin

Don't you feel like looking for Doms/Dommes is like looking for a job? I don't know if others get this feeling, but when I look for dommes I do feel like that. As I read their profile, it reminds me of a job offer. "I am looking for an obedient slave, who would pleasure me and obey my every command. He must be 20+ and is willing to try new things." - that sounds like a job offer and then a sub sends his CV, something like "Hello Mistress. I am a young and handsome slave, who would please you any time you want. I have 4 years experience in BDSM and have tried CBT, Anal, Fireplay, crossdressing..."

Do you feel like that too? Does it bother you or not? or do you think it's normal?

From the other side of the kneel........

Since the subject came up about profiles (this thread and another related to the topic in the Mistress section) I went and had a look at My own. I already knew what I had written on there (of course) and I could definitely see how someone reading My profile could get that impression.

The attitude on the subject that I have on it might be off-putting to some, but I'm viewing it in a very practical way. I am very much aware of what it would take in a submissive to be compatible with Me and My life. There really aren't a lot of people out there who could fill those shoes. Play partners, sure. There are a ton of folks out there who I could have a lot of fun with. Even potential D/s dynamics, yes, I think there are a number of people who would be compatible with Me on some level. The whole package; play, dynamic, Me, My life, My poly home, and all the rest, the number is significantly fewer. The more things that you add, the smaller your pool of potentials becomes.

The point of this being, I don't want to waste My time (or theirs) with folks who, from the outset, I know aren't compatible with Me. It's much easier to put those things right out on the table so that people can direct their time and attention toward someone where they would find that kind of compatibility that they might hope to achieve.

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Post #: 45

RE: Job Applications? - 6/3/2010 11:31:53 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: tappin

Don't you feel like looking for Doms/Dommes is like looking for a job? I don't know if others get this feeling, but when I look for dommes I do feel like that. As I read their profile, it reminds me of a job offer. "I am looking for an obedient slave, who would pleasure me and obey my every command. He must be 20+ and is willing to try new things." - that sounds like a job offer and then a sub sends his CV, something like "Hello Mistress. I am a young and handsome slave, who would please you any time you want. I have 4 years experience in BDSM and have tried CBT, Anal, Fireplay, crossdressing..."

Do you feel like that too? Does it bother you or not? or do you think it's normal?

The whole package; play, dynamic, Me, My life, My poly home, and all the rest, the number is significantly fewer. The more things that you add, the smaller your pool of potentials becomes.

The point of this being, I don't want to waste My time (or theirs) with folks who, from the outset, I know aren't compatible with Me. It's much easier to put those things right out on the table so that people can direct their time and attention toward someone where they would find that kind of compatibility that they might hope to achieve.

Exactly!

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Post #: 46

RE: Job Applications? - 6/3/2010 11:36:21 AM

porcelaine

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Joined: 7/24/2006
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kuppykake,

quote:

I think what is important is getting to know each other on a personal level before jumping into any bdsm scenes, however, the whole requirements for a dom/sub thing might be a method of saving time. I may not be making sense here, oh well it makes sense in my head haha.

Thank you for responding. The extra tidbits helped to clarify your point.

~porcelaine

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RE: Job Applications? - 6/3/2010 11:41:45 AM

porcelaine

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Joined: 7/24/2006
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LadyPact,

quote:

The whole package; play, dynamic, Me, My life, My poly home, and all the rest, the number is significantly fewer. The more things that you add, the smaller your pool of potentials becomes.

Teeny tiny in fact. The caveat is accepting this as well.

quote:

The point of this being, I don't want to waste My time (or theirs) with folks who, from the outset, I know aren't compatible with Me. It's much easier to put those things right out on the table so that people can direct their time and attention toward someone where they would find that kind of compatibility that they might hope to achieve.

Yes! Since you're aware of the realities of what you seek the second approach makes rational sense.

~porcelaine

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