Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (Full Version)

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LadyCimarron -> Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 5:11:24 AM)

I get a lot of CM mail from guys who want online domination asking if they can be a cam slave. I am aware that a lot of prodommes do this and charge for it (and they SHOULD...in fact I don't know what they charge but in IMO its not enough). I personally do not get off on this in anyway. I am just wondering do ANY lifestyle Dommes?  Are there any of you who get off on watching a guy you don't know do stuff to himself on a cam? I can't imagine what the appeal in that would be, but since so many guys are presenting this as if its something I would enjoy, I am guessing that they must have met SOMEBODY that bought into it.  So I want to know ladies do any of you lifestylers enjoy online and cam domination? 



GraciousLady -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 6:02:50 AM)

I don't have a cam or IM because it has no application in any area of my life. Especially when it comes to men wanting me to watch them masterbate, tie ropes around their genitalia or w/e self-focused silliness. How boring! I also agree with you ProDommes don't get paid enough to deal with all that mess. My hat is off to them.



BabieGothika -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 6:22:57 AM)

I have tried some online domination but yes, u r right, its a little bit boring. Its better in real life [;)][;)][;)][;)][;)][8|][8|][8|][8|][8|][8|][8|][8|][8|][8|][8|][8|][8|][8|][sm=discipline.gif]



LaTigresse -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 6:58:31 AM)

I have no interest in doing anything of the sort. There is zero benefit for me, just more work. Lose lose proposition.



Jeffff -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 7:01:47 AM)

Yes Ma'am, this boy will muck your cyber stalls for you!





LadyNTrainer -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 7:28:42 AM)

A complex question, actually.  It's true I won't engage in it with a stranger unless I am being paid to do so, except under fairly rare circumstances.  Once I'm there however, it is very possible for the energy to click and for me to genuinely have fun and even get turned on.  It's also possible that I'll be spending the next (paid-for) hour doing things I don't find all that interesting or exciting, but that still have a net positive effect on my client's life in terms of their health and fitness.  That feels good too, just in a different way. 

I have one client who doesn't do much cam, but does do very elaborate text based fantasies that are actually right up my personal kink alley.   I can't spend an hour typing this stuff and not get wet.  I have a few more clients who are pretty serious about their body shaping efforts.  They're already quite easy on the eyes but looking at specific goals like adding muscle mass in certain areas.  The hot ones are fun to look at, and sometimes the energy clicks enough to really be a turnon.  If it doesn't click for me, it doesn't matter much how hot they are.  But with time and patience and skill, it does click more often than not, unless the guy's a total self-centered douche who doesn't really take to my control and direction at all.

None of these things is in any way close to the physical and emotional high I get from being with either of my two collared partners in real life.  Occasionally when we're physically separated, I'll do one of them by text or on cam, and that can evoke some of the same feelings that our real life sessions do.  It is a pale shadow, a whispering ghost of the intensity we have when flesh meets flesh.  Still good for me, though, and if it's all I can get for awhile with either of them, I'll take it and be deeply grateful for that much. 



igor2003 -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 7:30:37 AM)

Shortly after getting my first computer I met a Domme online who was married to a non-bdsm gentleman that was some kind of "high-up" in their citys government. This particular lady would have prefered in-person meetings with submissives, but in order to insure that her hobby would not interfere with her husbands career she only did online training. Eventually she stopped even that, though. I have talked with others that simply felt it was "safer" to do online sessions rather than real time. Most though, as has been pointed out, do seem to do it only for profit.

That being said I would like to also point out in warning to the submissives that enjoy performing on cam...There ARE some "dommes" out there that use various forms of capture devices to record your actions on cam then use them as a form of blackmail, so be warned and beware.



domiguy -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 7:32:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

Shortly after getting my first computer I met a Domme online who was married to a non-bdsm gentleman that was some kind of "high-up" in their citys government. This particular lady would have prefered in-person meetings with submissives, but in order to insure that her hobby would not interfere with her husbands career she only did online training. Eventually she stopped even that, though. I have talked with others that simply felt it was "safer" to do online sessions rather than real time. Most though, as has been pointed out, do seem to do it only for profit.

That being said I would like to also point out in warning to the submissives that enjoy performing on cam...There ARE some "dommes" out there that use various forms of capture devices to record your actions on cam then use them as a form of blackmail, so be warned and beware.


She was married to a crackhead. You believed her?



LadyNTrainer -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 7:34:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003
That being said I would like to also point out in warning to the submissives that enjoy performing on cam...There ARE some "dommes" out there that use various forms of capture devices to record your actions on cam then use them as a form of blackmail, so be warned and beware.


Correct.  I tell everyone to wear a mask on cam, because while I personally have no interest in engaging in unethical activities that could get me into nonconsensual government bondage, anything transmitted unencrypted over the Internet bears the risk of being intercepted.  Bondage masks and hoods can be fun to play with, too.



domiguy -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 7:39:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

A complex question, actually.  It's true I won't engage in it with a stranger unless I am being paid to do so, except under fairly rare circumstances. 

But with time and patience and skill, it does click more often than not, unless the guy's a total self-centered douche who doesn't really take to my control and direction at all.



I smell bullshit. When the guy is paying you...You are the one that jumps through the hoops.

He pays he gets the right to be "a total self-centered douche who doesn't really take to my control and direction at all."

And you become the bitch.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 8:29:14 AM)

Strangercam? Not for me! People I KNOW entertaining me? Absolutely!



AAkasha -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 8:38:16 AM)

When ever I defend online domination, people say they prefer real life.  Well, of course. I prefer real life too.  I would never engage in online bdsm as a replacement for real life S&M; I do it as a supplement.  I'm already married and monogamous, so the core of my S&M needs are met by one person. However, I like variety, and online//phone/email often makes up some of the 'supplemental' S&M, while I am far more selective about people I dominate in the flesh outside of my relationship.

If there's chemistry, I love to make a guy perform on cam for me.  But I'm a very visual femdom. I also spend money on bondage porn if I think the men in it are hot; I enjoy seeing men suffering at my whim.  But I have to be attracted to him, so that either means something about his "look" gets me hot, then something about his "manner" of surrender keeps my interest. 

Or, I have to be emotionally invested in him and have an attraction on that level.

I would say on average I view and enjoy some kind of visual "male submission" at least once a week, whether it's some S&M videos, clips of men in bondage from mainstream TV or movies, or a man on cam for me doing what I say. He may be someone I just met, he may be a model that gets paid to perform, or he may be one of my ongoing partners.  But there has to be something about him that really turns me on.

I also have to be on the phone with him at the same time; audio - voice - breathing - subtle hesitation - all play into it.  No phone, chances are I will say no, not interested.

On a final note, sometimes cam (or pictures) play an important functional role in a distance BDSM relationship -- proof.  If I want to know a man is doing what he says, I will make him prove it.

Akasha



ReginaMirus -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 8:42:23 AM)

Yeah. Online domination holds no fascination for me, because there's no actual SERVICE involved. I could get any schmuck from AdultFriendFinder to wank on camera for me.



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 8:46:03 AM)

~FR~
 
If it's someone with whom I have a pre-established play relationship and it's a LDR, then yes, I'm interested.  I've done this before when the other person lived an hour's drive away and we only got to see each other once a month.  In that case, I definitely see the benefit of domination either by cam, IM, or phone as a means of maintaining the dynamic. 
 
However, all of this is dependent upon the physical relationship that's already been established.  I have no use for online "domination" as it is conceived of by the majority of subs (male or female) who claim to want it in lieu of a real-life experience.  Those individuals would be better off paying a professional dominatrix or even a NiteFlirt or TalkSugar actress who provides such a service.  Because there is nothing you can do for me on cam that I can't do better and in a more satisfying fashion either by myself or with one of the prospective play partners ripe for the picking in my local area.



LadyPact -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 9:22:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

~FR~
 
If it's someone with whom I have a pre-established play relationship and it's a LDR, then yes, I'm interested.  I've done this before when the other person lived an hour's drive away and we only got to see each other once a month.  In that case, I definitely see the benefit of domination either by cam, IM, or phone as a means of maintaining the dynamic. 

Very much this. 
 
quote:

However, all of this is dependent upon the physical relationship that's already been established.  I have no use for online "domination" as it is conceived of by the majority of subs (male or female) who claim to want it in lieu of a real-life experience.  Those individuals would be better off paying a professional dominatrix or even a NiteFlirt or TalkSugar actress who provides such a service.  Because there is nothing you can do for me on cam that I can't do better and in a more satisfying fashion either by myself or with one of the prospective play partners ripe for the picking in my local area.

I will say that I can do the same if I have an emotional or mental connection to someone, it can work that way for Me, too.  The acts themselves are never as hot from random guy X than they are from someone that I feel linked to in some way.



LadyNTrainer -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 10:00:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
I smell bullshit. When the guy is paying you...You are the one that jumps through the hoops.

He pays he gets the right to be "a total self-centered douche who doesn't really take to my control and direction at all."

And you become the bitch.


In the sense that any professional is ethically obligated to do their best for a client once they have been engaged, that is correct.  But I don't think most people would refer to a vanilla personal trainer as the client's bitch.  Nor any other service professional.  Though if you happen to be one of those total douches under discussion, you're probably going to call anyone a bitch if you think you can get away with it.   Since people online are unlikely to lean over and punch you in the mouth for being a douche, it's not surprising that people who think it is fun to be rude indulge in this behavior quite a lot in these venues.

The mainstream social norm is that bringing sex into the equation makes it automatically bad, or immoral, or guilty, or degrading.  So it is somehow totally different if you are an ethical service provider of kink or an ethical service provider of bicycle repair.  There are certainly individuals in both fields who could not be classed as ethical service providers and who have significant personal deficiencies in morals, manners and/or business practices.  It's a good thing be able to tell which is which on the basis of how they actually behave, as opposed to basing your opinions of them on mainstream religious morals that most participants here would not actually choose to have entrenched in their own minds if they bothered to think about it. 

What is the difference between an ethical service provider of sex or kink and an ethical service provider in a mainstream field, assuming both have basically the same standards and business practices?  If being a service provider makes you a client's bitch, is there any logical reason that this would be more or less true if the service involves kink rather than fixing bicycles?  If you are a crappy, unethical service provider who just wants to get money for doing the absolute minimum of work or no work, aren't these the same issues regardless of whether sex or kink is involved?

Uncomfy questions perhaps, and it will be easier for you to dismiss them with a joke than to actually think about the underpinnings of the social meme you might be supporting with these particular funnies. 



AAkasha -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 12:47:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

A complex question, actually.  It's true I won't engage in it with a stranger unless I am being paid to do so, except under fairly rare circumstances. 

But with time and patience and skill, it does click more often than not, unless the guy's a total self-centered douche who doesn't really take to my control and direction at all.



I smell bullshit. When the guy is paying you...You are the one that jumps through the hoops.

He pays he gets the right to be "a total self-centered douche who doesn't really take to my control and direction at all."

And you become the bitch.


Not true in all cases. If you are self-made and don't need the money (to pay for rent, for example) but instead are supplementing your income, and/or have way more demand than supply for your time, you can pick and choose clients and set your rates. 

I used to do phone domination pretty often to supplement my income. All the money I made was to be blown on toys, trips, flying my boytoys around with me on business trips, whatever.  My 9-5 job paid my rent and life's essentials.  I had way more demand for phone domination than I had need for money or time to do it.  As a result, I picked my clients, pure and simple.  I turned down more than 75% of the men that wanted to talk to me. I regularly told men 5 mins into the call, "This isn't working for me, sorry..." and didn't charge them, hung up, and talked to the next guy instead. Within a few weeks, I had 100% repeat business with all men that I had fun with and loved doing it.  If I had a possible new client I would consider it, but screen him first.

Want to talk about who is the "bitch"?"  How about a man so desperate to talk to me that he said he would pay me 3x my rate? I still told him no.  I had the power, and he was a bore.  I was always in control of my clients and if I ever wanted to go back to it, I would still be in charge.

Akasha



SweetDommes -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 1:05:33 PM)

Have I done it - only with boys who we had relationships with already. Would I do it again - probably under the same circumstances. Did I enjoy it - sometimes, not always.

The guys who message randomly about it, it holds no interest for me. What benifit do I get from their "submission" online? Is my house any cleaner? no. Are my dogs any better groomed? no. Am I getting backrubs/footrubs? no. Is my laundry done? no. Can they fetch things for me? Or have my bath drawn and waiting for me when I get home from work? Or anything else that benifits me? well ... you get the picture. What can they do for me? Not much. They can send me cash - that would help me ... but then I get attacked and abused for being a whore. *shrugs* It doesn't interest me enough to put up with that nonsense.



DommeKeliDallas -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 7:12:24 PM)

Men who like to make their PRIVATES...PUBLIC should PAY...unless they are lucky enough to be in a relationship with a DOMME.



LadyPact -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/3/2010 8:05:47 PM)

Bullshit.



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