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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/4/2010 5:22:41 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		Some people consider satin sheets to be kinky. I really do not equate kinky with BDSM. I can include BDSM but does not have to. I see kinky as something that is not of the "norm". IE: I read once a girl liked to have hard boiled eggs rubbed on her as foreplay. I would consider that a little kinky but has nothing to do with BDSM.

So back to the question. What makes a person kinky. I think its the person desiring to have sex in a way that is not main stream. Now I know everyone will ask what is main stream. It changes from person to person. Like said previously in the post. Ask 1000 people, and get 1000 different answers


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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/4/2010 5:44:56 PM   
realcoolhand


Posts: 261
Joined: 3/22/2009
Status: offline 		In my humble opinion, anything's kinky until you stop dreaming about it afterwards.

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/4/2010 5:53:42 PM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
Yet, i have worshiped my Domme's ass while standing in line at Walmart,



Speaking of subjectivity... what exactly did that ass worship consist of that you got away with doing it in a line at Walmart without getting arrested?

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/4/2010 5:57:01 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		i never mean to judge...but boiled eggs?

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/4/2010 6:28:54 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		You really have no idea how easy or difficult it is to get arrested, do you?

Trust me.  You can do far more than that and nobody will say anything.

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/4/2010 9:01:09 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		Not my fetish.....but yes.....boiled eggs.......everyone is different.

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/5/2010 10:54:11 AM   
pdv99


Posts: 140
Joined: 3/13/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Stop arguing about words and go off and do stuff you enjoy. But for the record, if it's about sex for him....him screwing you is vanilla, you fucking him is kinky.

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/6/2010 7:51:22 PM   
georgeinca


Posts: 30
Joined: 8/2/2008
Status: offline 		I agree with everyone who said "it's relative".

I think it's even more complicated than that. Imagine a scale where, say, 0 is missionary and 10 is snuff. Where would you put oral sex on that scale? Anal sex? Spanking? Crops? Suspension? Suspension with hooks? Knife play?

Everyone would put things in different places on that scale. For me, oral is maybe 0.25. Anal is maybe 1, 1.5. Knife play would be a 9 for me. Others would call it a 6, or a 3.

And then, given that everyone has their own scale, everyone also has a line somewhere on that scale that they won't cross. And it might be a 2 on one person's scale, and a 9.9 on another's.

So, yeah, 7 billion variations.

Winston Smith said "Sanity is statistical." Perhaps "Kinky is statistical"; the fewer people who do it, the kinkier it is?

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/7/2010 5:40:46 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: georgeinca
Perhaps "Kinky is statistical"; the fewer people who do it, the kinkier it is?


Absolutely perfect definition.


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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/7/2010 5:48:07 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		What I do is always kinky. What friends and family do is always perverted. What the rest of the great unwashed do is vanilla. Sort of....
 


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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/7/2010 6:09:18 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		i find the label vanilla strange unless it is about the flavour
i thought kinky means 'not straight' so should the opposite not simply be 'straight' instead of vanilla?

i consider my Husband and i to be quite normal mainly straight people who like a lot of kink and vanilla too and what anybody else does or thinks is their business

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/9/2010 9:43:29 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		As far as I'm concerned the distinction is purely psychological - "kinky" is about really letting your inhibitions go, following your impulses, when you stop wondering about "them" and what "they" might think of this, whether it's Jesus or whoever, and just immersing yourself in the scene.

It can be whatever, slut of submissive fantasies, whatever get's you in the zone. In my experience, those who obsess over their "image", or "role" (in the non sexual sense) or whatever it is, have a much more difficult time letting go and getting freaky - you have to do this all the time anyway, i.e., worry about what kind of "impression" you're making, kink, to me is, getting away from all that - some people just can't stop doing it, like somebody is watching them all the time, and I think that's why the trust issues are so important in BDSM, I do think it requires a higher level of trust to really be alone with somebody, rather than letting other people, who aren't actually there, project their ideas onto you.

Hard to describe, since to some extent, even that can be part of a scene, up to and including the subs fantasy projections of what a "dom" is, and vice versa, but I think the difference there is one of awareness of that dynamic, and that you are using it, instead of it using you, it's a whole different sort of role immersion.

You don't even have to necessarily be "kinky" to do this, but for me, vanilla spells "inhibition", which for various reasons, reproductive politics, theology, etc., all the ways "society" is always mindlessly trying to get it's hooks into you, to serve it's ends - it's freedom, and that's always kinky.

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/9/2010 10:38:06 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		i do not consider myself, or the life i live, to be either "kinky," or "vanilla." when i think of the word kinky, i think of erotic activities outside the norm (however you personally wish to define norm) done for the purpose of fun and titillation. nothing in my erotic life is done for such a purpose, in fact such a purpose is rather contrary to my sexuality in general...therefore, i would hate for someone to use the word kinky in relation to me or anything which takes place in my life.

as for vanilla, i think of that as simply status quo...whether applied to sexuality, to a relationship dynamic, or to an overall worldview...it is whatever is currently considered proper/acceptable within a particular society at a particular time. my relationship is not vanilla in today's america, because relationships of female independence and "shared" authority are what is currently socially acceptable. but at other times, and in other parts of the world, i would say my relationship and the worldview my Master and i share on gender roles and relations would be very vanilla.

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/12/2010 11:48:37 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		No comment.

Interesting article on the role fantasy plays in sexuality: Male Sexuality Explained, that has some bearing on the subject.

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/12/2010 12:52:09 PM   
pdv99


Posts: 140
Joined: 3/13/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		I agree with what Simply Michael said - Labels are just for convenient shorthand description, reeal people are always more complex, but for what it's worth ;
IMHO
If your boyfriend is only interested for the sex, vanilla is he gets to fuck you, kinky is you get to fuck him.

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/12/2010 7:46:11 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline 		Kinky = Any sexual activity that must be described with more than the words "Two adults having sex." For example, "two elderly adults having rough sex with pee." See, right there that's at least three kinds of kink.

So yes, almost everything to me counts as kink. Keeps it easy that way.


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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/12/2010 7:52:56 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Since you are but 18....... your use of the word, elderly?...... makes me a tad uncomfortable....

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/12/2010 8:08:30 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hitting too close to home there, grandpa?

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/12/2010 8:10:14 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		If it is missy, careful you don't get hit with a ricochet..:)

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RE: What do YOU consider to be vanilla or kinky? - 6/12/2010 8:13:54 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Since you are but 18....... your use of the word, elderly?...... makes me a tad uncomfortable....


I meant elderly like 87. But usually around the age of 53 is when people turn in to crusty old man-hags.


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I wash my hands of this weirdness.

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