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RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 1:03:02 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Your dom always chooses to punish you in ways that are borderline criminal because that's who he is.

You chose him.  He hasn't changed.  Good luck on trying to make him.

I might recommend perhaps to others to choose a dom who understands behavioral modification beyond the infantile "not like = must punish with silly ineffective side track" baseline.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to GraciousLady)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 1:07:44 PM   
bondmaid123


Posts: 143
Joined: 6/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subsfaith


By definition a submissive does what is required/told/asked.  A dom doesn't need a reason, just a will or whim, and that doesn't make him an 'asshat'. 

.....
The bottom line is you don't need to know in order to submit.  You might want to know, but that a different question.




I would argue this point. A "So-Called Dom" who chooses to issue "commands" which jeopardize his/her submissive most certainly qualifies for "Asshat" status. Or.. at the very least "jerk-face" (which is my "one step below asshat" rating).

And... if the guy is giving orders which make her question his rationality... and thus shakes her trust... I do believe that erodes the D/s dynamic, potentially enough to make it nonviable.

Submission doesn't occur in a vacuum (Unless it's a Dyson.. <<performs most humble obesiance....>>)

(in reply to subsfaith)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 1:15:01 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Indeed. You do NOT need to know the "why" in order to submit, but to jeapordize your own safety in the name of obedience? Not wise.

Common sense does not get checked at the door just because a person is submissive. We are all responsible for our OWN actions, and "He made me do it" is just not going to fly at the arraignment.

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(in reply to bondmaid123)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 1:20:20 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Yeah, exactly, it absolutely astounds me when people don't think things through like this. Situations where someone orders you to do something that truly endangers you or harms other people, in my mind, are a no-brainer. Use yours, tell the guy no, if he doesn't listen, he's an asshat, move on.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 1:42:44 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

A "So-Called Dom" who chooses to issue "commands" which jeopardize his/her submissive most certainly qualifies for "Asshat" status. Or.. at the very least "jerk-face"


Define "jeopardize?"  Don't slaves and subs get to choose for themselves what jeopardies they find acceptable and the relationships that suit them?  The risks I take aren't the same as yours, that doesn't mean my jeopardy is bad and yours is not.

My partner enjoys me having other sex partners.  There is jeopardy in that.  Does this mean he's an asshat?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 2:58:58 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		meh! - i had to admit once that id made a bad choice when i was asked to wear a gym slip to the gym with no panties underneath - i could have lost my membership to the gym, i would have almost certainly offended the people in there trying to work out, it was unhygenic and just plain stupid.

when plain stupid collides with bloody ridiculous i move on............

youre guy is having some fantasy fun with you - and i might be very wrong here, but i dont think he's considering you at all, the implications or the ramifications of what he's asking - he's pushing you into bad situations and if you were to be arrested would he be there for you, would he come and bail you out - im thinking probably not.

sorry, but im with the asshat vote.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 6/4/2010 2:59:45 PM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 3:01:35 PM   
bondmaid123


Posts: 143
Joined: 6/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

A "So-Called Dom" who chooses to issue "commands" which jeopardize his/her submissive most certainly qualifies for "Asshat" status. Or.. at the very least "jerk-face"


Define "jeopardize?"  Don't slaves and subs get to choose for themselves what jeopardies they find acceptable and the relationships that suit them?  The risks I take aren't the same as yours, that doesn't mean my jeopardy is bad and yours is not.

My partner enjoys me having other sex partners.  There is jeopardy in that.  Does this mean he's an asshat?


It depends. Does your partner require that you have unprotected sex with other partners? If not, that's minimal risk. If so, then yeah, I'd classify that as "asshat" behavior.

You are obviously welcome to decide for yourself if you're willing to accept the consequences. I'm not a fan of "Story of O" style submission where the brain no longer engages... but hey... if that's somebody's thing, well.... I'm sad for them, but it's not my choice. It doesn't mean the "dom" in question is any less of a jerk, tho.

I think you know this, though, LA....

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 3:05:13 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Just because someone chooses risks that you wouldn't choose doesn't suggest I'm not using my brain either.  That's the equivalent of saying "someone who has more sex than I do is a slut" the "someone who takes more risks than I do is a doormat."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to bondmaid123)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 3:38:30 PM   
bondmaid123


Posts: 143
Joined: 6/6/2009
Status: offline 		Hey, some people get off on dating asshats. Hooray. Pot meets lid. Yay for them.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 5:24:32 PM   
realcoolhand


Posts: 261
Joined: 3/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Oh. Well then your chosen master is an asshat.


The first time I heard the term "asshat" used in conversation, I damn near vomited from laughing.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 5:59:37 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Oh asshat is a regular part of my vocab. It's a terrifically descriptive word.

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(in reply to realcoolhand)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 6:07:45 PM   
realcoolhand


Posts: 261
Joined: 3/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Oh asshat is a regular part of my vocab. It's a terrifically descriptive word.


It is, isn't it? Wonderfully vibrant image.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 6:15:23 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Interested to know why you think this??

(in reply to GraciousLady)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 6:23:57 PM   
MstrPBK


Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisasset
i have a distant Dom, i understand that distance is an issue. Punishment must be handed out for offenses, misbehavior..but why is the punishment always borderline arrestable activity? There are things that i have been asked to do that i could honestly go to jail for if the wrong person saw, or was offended.

Can someone give me some insight, as i am told, "you do it because i said so" when i ask.



The dom in question is out of line - (and personally) should not be a dom or acknowledged as one.
In this case the slave knows their place is correct. (BIASED OPINION) the slave ought to withdraw from the master telling him the reason point blank.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA

< Message edited by MstrPBK -- 6/4/2010 6:24:40 PM >

(in reply to Hisasset)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 6:28:02 PM   
LadyCimarron


Posts: 625
Joined: 12/29/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

A "So-Called Dom" who chooses to issue "commands" which jeopardize his/her submissive most certainly qualifies for "Asshat" status. Or.. at the very least "jerk-face"


Define "jeopardize?"  Don't slaves and subs get to choose for themselves what jeopardies they find acceptable and the relationships that suit them?  The risks I take aren't the same as yours, that doesn't mean my jeopardy is bad and yours is not.

My partner enjoys me having other sex partners.  There is jeopardy in that.  Does this mean he's an asshat?


LA, I noticed you used the term "enjoys" rather than "orders" or "command." There is difference in a partner enjoying his or her partner willingly doing an activity and a Dom ordering a sub to do something that is illegal and that the sub clearly does not want to do.
 
And to stay on topic with the OP's question:  You are grown. Do whatever you want, but if its illegal you know what's going to happen. And you knew before you came here that no one would tell you that it was ok to break the law because your Dom said so. If you can't figure this out you have no business on this computer or in this lifestyle.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 6:39:17 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		Funny thing, there is no mention of being owned in your profile, just one long punishment fantasy, why is that? In fact your profile states you are looking.

Interesting. You wouldn't by any chance be pulling a fast one on us, would you?


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The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

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(in reply to Hisasset)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 6:46:48 PM   
VAcontroldom


Posts: 65
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline 		Since your name is "His asset" I hope his name is "Her liability" because this sounds borderline ridiculous. 

Luckily you are in Sarasota not in a remote part of North Dakota so it shouldn't be that hard to get to a munch to meet some rational people and maybe end up having coffee with some normal folks as well.  When your instincts say run, you should run

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 6:49:10 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		If you are doing things that you know are illegal, then don't whine and cry when you get tossed in jail. Oh and you can blame it on your long distance dom all you want, but I have a feeling the cops will just laugh and then toss you in a cell. And they would be right, you are 42 years old. You should know better. Good luck with that

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to Hisasset)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 9:48:57 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

There is difference in a partner enjoying his or her partner willingly doing an activity and a Dom ordering a sub to do something that is illegal and that the sub clearly does not want to do


Are we now saying a master is an idiot because he orders a slave to do something she clearly doesn't want to do? Let's go ahead and take that off the table because that's clearly irrelevant and idiotic.

As to the legal, my ex owner ordered me to whore for him and it was not legal where we lived. Oh well. He owned my ass, I whored, he used my money, he was marvelous.

This is where the chorus of "Oh you don't know how abused you were and how wrong he was" starts in- in other words "feel free to make your own relationship and consent to what you want UNTIL you reach the point we decide we aren't comfortable with, and then you're doing it wrong."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/4/2010 10:06:20 PM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Funny thing, there is no mention of being owned in your profile, just one long punishment fantasy, why is that? In fact your profile states you are looking.

Interesting. You wouldn't by any chance be pulling a fast one on us, would you?



The profile does not look like a womans at all IMO.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 40
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