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RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/6/2010 10:17:46 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I enjoyed your post, InvisibleBlack. I agree that when I was looking last time, my focus was on finding someone with common sense, who was reasonable, and had similar boundaries to my own. I didn't want to exert a big list of limits, or worry about him trying to find loopholes.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/6/2010 1:44:14 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		Hisasset,

- Fast Reply -

--- Punishment must be handed out for offenses,
--- misbehavior...

Says who?  If it's not your cup of tea and not useful in your life, don't do it.

--- There are things that i have been asked to do
--- that i could honestly go to jail for if the wrong
--- person saw, or was offended.   Can someone
--- give me some insight, as i am told, "you do it
--- because i said so" when i ask.

Ultimately, unless you are somehow incarcerated, there is nobody who makes decisions for you except yourself.  You are responsible for making decisions about your life so it's prudent to choose wisely.  If a dominant asks you to do something that conflicts with your ethics, the law, or your comfort level, as noted above, don't do it.  Talk to the dominant and discuss the issue and your feelings in a respectful, adult way.  If the dominant continues this behaviour, get rid of the dominant.

Topical quote:  "who is more the fool, the fool or he/she who follows the fool".

Elan.

(in reply to Hisasset)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/7/2010 6:44:50 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You might wish to consider why he is reduced to seeking a sub who does not live within a closer distance. Because those who do have obviously discovered what an idiot he is.

Someone who would be with you and at equal risk of being arrested wouldn't ask such a thing. These guys are in fantasy mode only and don't deserve to be treated with respect. In fact I would recommend that you only talk to people who treat you with an equal amount of respect as they want you to treat them with. It would lessen the pool of availables but limit it to the better quality ones.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to GraciousLady)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/7/2010 2:51:36 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisasset

i have a distant Dom, i understand that distance is an issue. Punishment must be handed out for offenses, misbehavior..but why is the punishment always borderline arrestable activity? There are things that i have been asked to do that i could honestly go to jail for if the wrong person saw, or was offended.

Can someone give me some insight, as i am told, "you do it because i said so" when i ask.

It isn't always (or ever if there's any common sense involved). For nearly a year and a half, Master was what you are referring to as a "distant Dom." I received what could be considered a "punishment" exactly one time and it was well-deserved, if I do say so myself. It was nowhere near "borderline arrestable activity." Why? Because the point of it was to correct behavior He found unacceptable, not to encourage further idiotic behavior. Sounds like your dom is looking to humiliate or add to your problems. Therein lies the difference.

luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Hisasset)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/7/2010 2:55:59 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You might wish to consider why he is reduced to seeking a sub who does not live within a closer distance. Because those who do have obviously discovered what an idiot he is



I wouldn't consider someone seeking/willing to consider a partner outside their immediate area "reduced" to doing so. Master found the best He's ever had (His words) states away He didn't deliberately set out to find someone so far away. As a matter of fact, it would've been much easier on Him in alot of ways to look closer. He initiated contact on here very nonchalantly and I happened to be the one for Him. It's not that he was "reduced" because He'd run through the locals. Sometimes things happen for very different reasons than outsiders assume they do and sometimes it's just serendipity as well. I don't see their distance as being a factor in making her dom look bad. That can be attributed to many other established facts....................luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 6/7/2010 2:57:02 PM >

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/7/2010 3:02:07 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You might wish to consider why he is reduced to seeking a sub who does not live within a closer distance. Because those who do have obviously discovered what an idiot he is



I wouldn't consider someone seeking/willing to consider a partner outside their immediate area "reduced" to doing so. Master found the best He's ever had (His words) states away He didn't deliberately set out to find someone so far away. As a matter of fact, it would've been much easier on Him in alot of ways to look closer. He initiated contact on here very nonchalantly and I happened to be the one for Him. It's not that he was "reduced" because He'd run through the locals. Sometimes things happen for very different reasons than outsiders assume they do and sometimes it's just serendipity as well. I don't see their distance as being a factor in making her dom look bad. That can be attributed to many other established facts....................luci


Agreed. Sometimes what they're looking for is very specialized as well - and may simply not be found in their area.

The world is a small place - the definition of "local" can vary in perception tremendously.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... - 6/7/2010 3:04:52 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		LA - so glad you're back. I agree 150% with all you've said thus far on this thread. It's fine unless it's not fine for me. Then it's just wrong Give 'em hell!................luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 87
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