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ElanSubdued -> RE: Would this be annoying to you? (6/5/2010 11:41:29 AM)
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Lurch999,
Tolkien withdrawal, at your partner's feet no less. Were I your dominant, yes, this would annoy me to no end. But...
--- Ma'am doesn't find it offensive but sometimes
--- it does get on Her nerves. Ma'am says that baby
--- talk, while perfectly acceptable for babies or pets,
--- may not be the most respectful way to speak to
--- one's Domme, or Her body parts.
...this would annoying me far more. You already know your dominant doesn't like it so why waste time asking us? Ignoring your dominant's wishes, in my experience, isn't a great way to ingratiate yourself with her.
--- i also wonder if it could be considered objectifying...
This depends on how your dominant feels about the matter. None of us can answer this for her.
--- especially because i am supposed to be the object.
If objectification is something the two of you enjoy and have consented to share together (with you being the "object"), then I agree with your statement. In the general sense though, BDSM doesn't dictate that slaves, submissives, bottom types, etc. are objectified. The dominant types I know prefer their partners to be courteous, intelligent, well rounded people who behave as is appropriate to a given situation and time. I know dominants who don't mind (and, for that matter, who greatly enjoy) being treated in slutty, objectified ways, when that is their mood. Context. Timing. Communication. These three things are crucial in helping you determine what dynamics and behavior are appropriate at a given instant. For example, at the right time and with the right person, baby talk might be appropriate.
General rule of thumb: you really cannot go wrong approaching your dominant with courtesy, open ears, and a willingness to communicate and follow-through. Acting appropriately, when your dominant expresses a certain desire, also tends to garner high marks. Therefore, when your dominant says "we need to save money so I'd prefer you not buy video games this month", a great response might be, "Ma'am, after you expressed your wishes, I opened a short-term, term-deposit account and put my extra money in there to earn higher than normal interest". Or, you could ask your dominant for advice on how to put your money away for safe keeping. Something of this ilk lets your dominant know you heard them, appreciate their advice, and are working toward the same goals they are.
Elan.
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