LadyNTrainer -> RE: Would this be annoying to you? (6/6/2010 11:27:27 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: PeonForHer No. I'm sorry, but this is a description of a common fault of dominants. I've seen it all too frequently on CM. Of dominants, or of the scammers who pose as femdoms on adult sites to part fools from their money? A lot of them shave every morning, and I'm not talking about their legs. quote:
Both femsubs and femdommes have commented on it with regard to doms rather than femdommes, but it's there, nonetheless. If dominants can't see that, then I'd say that this might well be because it's yet another symptom of a narcissistic 'denial of personal faults'. I think it's a matter of exposure and experience. I am active in my local femdom group, and have been for many years. I simply do not know many other dominant women in realtime who behave the way you are describing. I definitely don't know any who are active in the community and are in sustainable LTR's who act that way. I have run into a few narcissists over the years, mostly pros with a bad case of Top's Disease who started believing their own PR and stereotypes from bad femdom porn. They were not nice or happy people, and they rarely did much with the realtime community, mostly because no one would put up with them for long without laughing in their face. Their male counterparts get the same treatment. One of the current (fairly minor) relationship issues I'm ironing out with my secondary is that we *both* tend to be completely focused on his needs and wants, what he is feeling, and making him happy. My primary is a natural caretaker and nurturer, as am I, so for us it balances out. My secondary is much quieter and accepts what he is given without questioning or taking any initiative, and we've found that the end result of that is that I spend so much time being fascinated by living in his head, making him feel and respond, and taking care of him that I quite often end up ignoring my own needs. I take care of what is mine; this is what a strong and responsible dominant does in my world. With my secondary, I'm learning that this works best when I also remember to take care of myself, or when I ask him to step up and be proactively thoughtful on my behalf. But these are skills that both of us are still working on and communicating about, because it's not my natural inclination at all. Making my cherished pet and property happy makes me happy. So selfishly, perhaps, it's what I do. There's assholes and problem children in every community, and no group is ever immune to them. I do think the numbers are significantly skewed on anonymous Internet sites towards the assholes, because they have fewer real time consequences and the community filters are lower or nonexistent.
|
|
|
|