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RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 2:47:47 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Jb, I agree, but everyone starts somewhere and alot of people have that shit in their profiles, I think the internet propaganda makes them think it's attractive.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to jbcurious)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 2:51:18 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Give the new guy a break. He didn't run away.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 2:51:57 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious
I won't comment on the wounded bird story...

This is the wounded bird guy?  That does make sense.

A lot men are weak and ineffectual.  That's true.  I spent a few hours yesterday with a female friend I hadn't seen for a month.  She is taking on a new (higher) administrative position.  The conversation turned to romance.  She said she's single and fine with it, because so many men are intimidated by her, and she is "tired of dating men with no balls."


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to jbcurious)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 2:52:04 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
The dom needs as much training as the sub -- maybe more.

I have learned in life this is more crucial than many care to realize.

_____________________________

Omnes una manet nox

Founder, Humbled Females

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 2:52:21 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takingu84116

Where I "failed" was not understanding the proper etiquette for this forum... Lesson learned. I appreciate all of your comments...this has been interesting to say the least.



No problem.  You're new here.  It takes a while to learn how things flow.

Stop by and visit again.  i think you'll find that people here have very good experience and perspective to share.  But this place definitely isn't for the faint of heart.  But if your "real life" is as D/s oriented as you imply, i think your presence and participation here will be mutually beneficial.

i'd recommend reading a few of the active threads.  It will give you a better understanding of how the conversations tend to go.  "Snark" is as common here as water during a rainstorm.  But it's just part of the culture here.  Don't take it personally.


_____________________________

"The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers".
-Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead

(in reply to takingu84116)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 2:56:25 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious
I won't comment on the wounded bird story...

This is the wounded bird guy?  That does make sense.

A lot men are weak and ineffectual.  That's true.  I spent a few hours yesterday with a female friend I hadn't seen for a month.  She is taking on a new (higher) administrative position.  The conversation turned to romance.  She said she's single and fine with it, because so many men are intimidated by her, and she is "tired of dating men with no balls."



Yeah I have that issue too, however, my profile when I had one was about me, not about how every other sub ain't as good as me.

I actually think he wasn't trying to be pompus. Our collective reaction to extreme statements can be a bit harsh to people that don't know it's coming. Unlike many first time posters, he did come back. Cut him some slack, let him qualify what he was trying to say if he will at this point.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 3:00:00 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		I think, ignoring the sentence that everyone who has got upset are getting upset about, there is a gem of something in the OP. It is not something I agree with but I have heard many a time that a submissive is totally the responsibility of the dominant, I don't think it is ever good for a human to remove themselves from personal responsibility however ironically I do think that a submissive can reflect badly on their partner on occasions, yet less so the other way around.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 3:02:14 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		There is a concept in surgery that the surgeon is the captain of the ship - all authority and responsibility for surgical outcomes is his, so if the assistant screws up it is the responsibility of the surgeon. (actually, it used to be this way, but now individuals have more responsibility for their roles under the law)

I'm thinking the OP is using an analogy similar to the captain of the ship in his post. If the sub screws up, then is it the doms (captain of the ship) or the subs fault?
If this really is what he is thinking, then rather than an absolute, i think there is shared responsibility. The dom has the ultimate responsibility for the behaviour of the sub, but the sub is responsible for his/her actions.
This is of course supposing that both are putting their hearts into the relationship, and not just coasting along.

My Sir accepted responsibility for my actions at local play parties - when i was very new, he refused to allow me to talk to male doms - he said i was too new to the scene to recognise when i was being hit on, and if things got out of hand, it would be his responsibility. So, even though i disagreed with him, i didn't talk to male doms for the first several months, and believe it or not - i think he was right. I was (and still am in many ways) naive, and believe whatever is told to me, and it could have got me in trouble.
His restriction eased up and he trusted me to "behave" in an appropriate manner.
This would be an example of responsible ownership - seeing a flaw or a deficit and correcting or ruling in such a way as not to cause a problem.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 3:05:23 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I am of the opinion that some women use this as a way to escape responsibility. Not all but some.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 3:07:42 PM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I can't argue that... I've been single 10 years for pretty much that reason... but there is a difference between acknowledging it or using it to make yourself look better at the expense of others.

To me, someone who is truely strong and confident doesn't take that route.

_____________________________

'Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips.'


I have an explosive personality...


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 3:08:46 PM   
BrokenRadio


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/16/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

My Sir accepted responsibility for my actions at local play parties - when i was very new, he refused to allow me to talk to male doms - he said i was too new to the scene to recognise when i was being hit on, and if things got out of hand, it would be his responsibility. So, even though i disagreed with him, i didn't talk to male doms for the first several months, and believe it or not - i think he was right. I was (and still am in many ways) naive, and believe whatever is told to me, and it could have got me in trouble.
His restriction eased up and he trusted me to "behave" in an appropriate manner.
This would be an example of responsible ownership - seeing a flaw or a deficit and correcting or ruling in such a way as not to cause a problem.


Really, staying away from doms at parties when yr a newbie is a hard-to-swallow but generally good move.

I agree that this is the type of ownership that is constructive.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 3:10:54 PM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Jb, I agree, but everyone starts somewhere and alot of people have that shit in their profiles, I think the internet propaganda makes them think it's attractive.


...and it's our duty to let them know it's not.

_____________________________

'Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips.'


I have an explosive personality...


(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 3:11:08 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think he had the chance to convey what he really meant at all and wasn't aware that the collective loses it over absolute statements. I read some of what he had to say as somewhat altruistic, but we won't really know unless he comes back.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 3:11:37 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I am of the opinion that some women use this as a way to escape responsibility. Not all but some.


My ex roommate did. It wasn't his fault he didn't pay back any of the money he owed me, his mistress wouldn't let him. It wasn't his fault he was collecting full disability while working 45+ hours under the table as a short order cook, his mistress made him do it. Now I admit, he did accept responsibility for his pot habit, but then again he had to. His mistress forbid him to smoke it, so he just lied to her and said he didn't.

I guess it was only her fault when it worked for him.


_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 3:12:56 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious
To me, someone who is truely strong and confident doesn't take that route.

There is power in being underestimated.

(Note: not a sarcastic or a joke post.  Meant 100% straight up.)


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to jbcurious)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 3:13:42 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

.A lot men are weak and ineffectual.  That's true.  I spent a few hours yesterday with a female friend I hadn't seen for a month.  She is taking on a new (higher) administrative position.  The conversation turned to romance.  She said she's single and fine with it, because so many men are intimidated by her, and she is "tired of dating men with no balls."



i happen to think alot of men dont know which way is up anymore there is so much PC correctness going on.  they dont know if they should open a door for a woman or offer up their seat or just ignore the bitches and let them fight their own battles - is why so many guys come here fascinated by the frank power exchange going on here where in the male/female end of it all the man wears the trousers.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 3:13:56 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		We have just as many knuckleheads here as the.."normal" folks do. Maybe more.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 3:14:36 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I am of the opinion that some women use this as a way to escape responsibility. Not all but some.


Oh very true, a little like a petulant child, but as thishereboi points out some men do it too

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 3:16:33 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious
To me, someone who is truely strong and confident doesn't take that route.

There is power in being underestimated.

(Note: not a sarcastic or a joke post.  Meant 100% straight up.)



thats probably the sexiest thing ive seen written here in ages

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: The responsibility of ownership - 6/5/2010 3:19:50 PM   
MissSepphora1


Posts: 669
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		I don't care if you are super sub... or wonder whore, you cannot save a relationship on your own. A relationship, which is what D/s truly is, needs two people to either fail or succeed. Neither a sub nor a Dom can make a relationship on their own. And neither can make it work or make it fail on their own. There is nothing more sad than to see someone hold on to a relationship they know is gone, because the other doesn't care about it.


_____________________________

I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 60
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