Boring Boyfriend...

Boring Boyfriend... (Full Version)

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spankthesub25 -> Boring Boyfriend... (6/6/2010 1:17:23 AM)
How do I tell my boyfirend to be more dominant and creative in the bedroom? I have been with him for three years and don't want to hurt his feelings! I have already tried, pulling his hair, thrusting him deeper inside of me, biting his neck, going down on him while he watches his favorite TV shows, etc... Please Help!

KyttynTheMynx -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/6/2010 1:34:34 AM)
Go search online for stories, or videos or whatever and ask him to view said items with you. Check out Amazon.com's book selection, get one you find interesting, read it, and then tell him you wanna read him something that interested you. Acting out the way you mentioned seems quite childish, and counterproductive to what you are trying to achieve. In a relationship, you should be able to tell a partner what you want or are interested in, or curious about. You seem to not be taking advantage of that detail. You do know that it is ok to speak up, right?

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/6/2010 3:17:32 AM)
Well, i suppose if you can't talk to him about it, you could check some books out from the library on bdsm (it is possible even if you have to "special order" them), buy some, or print out some internet info on bdsm, and leave it where he could read it and possibly get interested. Don't know what else to say. Talking to him about it would be the most direct way though.'' ~sweetsub~

DarkSteven -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/6/2010 3:58:29 AM)
First off, have you tried telling him in plain English? Second, you knew he was vanilla when you began with him. He's had three years of feeling comfortable with vanilla sex. Telling him that you want him to suddenly change to being a Dom will confuse him. It's worth a try to convert him. But I don't give it much hope.

January -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/6/2010 4:19:49 AM)
spank, How is pulling his hair, and biting his neck, going to make him more Dominant? How are your actions in any way submissive? It sounds like you just want wilder sex, rather than dominance. I would just talk to him. By talk, I actually mean: screaming, "harder!" during sex. Hotly begging for a swat during foreplay. That sort of thing. You do this during the heat of passion, when he's losing control as it is. Rough sex requires a different sort of seduction. And if you want him to continue the rough stuff, you'd be wise to make it clear (in words, in orgasms, in sighs) how much he fulfilled you. And your desire to turn him into a more creative lover? That is a gradual thing--if it can be done at all. How can you make someone more creative? You can't. You just offer them freedom to experiment. Don't criticize, just enjoy, even if he makes mistakes... Creativity has to come from inside a man--at his own pace. Some people are not creative. But instead of expecting him to do the heavy creative lifting, why don't YOU be creative? Giving him a blow job while he's watching TV isn't creative. Why don't you try something to appeal to a fantasy of HIS (or of men in general), with role-play costumes and all, and see if he responds? January

elleX -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/6/2010 4:22:10 AM)
hello spank , i agree with DarkSteven here , that you should be capable for an open talk with him , and if you love each other ,it worth to try to open his mind, but there might be real limits to the changes you hope to produce in him,,,,, he might not been interested at all,, no matter what you do.

lally2 -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/6/2010 4:32:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: January spank, How is pulling his hair, and biting his neck, going to make him more Dominant? How are your actions in any way submissive? .January that hit me in the face a bit too [:D] it is tricky - a while back i was with this guy who was a dominant vanilla - but nothing ever happened other than he was just a strong dominant type - so one day i asked him if he had any kinky fantasies at all and maybe we could trade - so he went along with that and said that he had always liked the idea of golden showers and then i told him i liked being spanked. he baulked a bit at the idea but was so keen for me to let him pee on me he went along with it. it worked out well [:D] try that. but be prepared - he might come up with something you might not like the idea of - i wasnt too keen on golden showers to be honest, but id made the offer and anyway i wanted to do it for him and i wanted to be spanked so it was a fair trade and we went from strength to strength after that. but pick a horny moment when he's more likely to get into the swing of the exchanging sometimes quite embarrassing kinky fantasies - not something to ask while he's watching the footie or cleaning out the draines IMO [:D]

January -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/6/2010 4:37:39 AM)
quote: i asked him if he had any kinky fantasies at all and maybe we could trade Genius, lally! A kink barter system. I love it. January

lally2 -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/6/2010 4:53:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: January quote: i asked him if he had any kinky fantasies at all and maybe we could trade Genius, lally! A kink barter system. I love it. January [:D] - i have my devious, sneaky moments - and something such as this requires feminine guile i think [8D] turning it into a serious chat will just turn it into something heavy and then this whole pressure thing occurs. the codicil is that you have to be ready with a smile and an 'OK great' when he suggests he wants to roll you in butter and stick feathers up youre arse - avoid the whole 'Oh My God! you freako!' expression - also you have to be really encouraging, so if its spanking youre after and im guessing it is from youre handle there OP, dont lie there in an inanimate, awkward knot - be responsive and sexy about it - in other words encourage him. of course he might want you to spank him - it could be anything, you really have to be ready for whatever he comes up with.

daddysliloneds -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/6/2010 7:18:02 AM)
when he wants to have sex, avoid it at all costs; when he asks you what the problem is, tell him that you're bored in the sack so it's just not worth your time anymore. that might light a fire under his ass, then again, it may not.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/6/2010 8:33:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds when he wants to have sex, avoid it at all costs; when he asks you what the problem is, tell him that you're bored in the sack so it's just not worth your time anymore. that might light a fire under his ass, then again, it may not. i never thought using sex as a bargaining chip was fair, no matter what it was for. If it was just because she's not interested anymore, i can see why she'd not do it, but if it's to "make a point" that's a bargaining chip. And how is that submissive? ~sweetsub~

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/6/2010 9:41:46 AM)
How would you feel if he came to you and said you need to be more creative and not just want kink in the bedroom all the time? How do you think he should best approach that to make you most receptive to that change?

laurell3 -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/6/2010 10:11:01 AM)
Grins, nice LA. Great point.

afkarr -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/6/2010 10:33:31 AM)
Whatever you do, be prepared for the possibility that he just isn't interested in kink. In which case you have three options: 1. Settle for vanilla 2. End the relationship, and hope you find someone that you like as much and is kinky. 3. keep the nilla man, and find the kinky sex with someone else.

DesFIP -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/7/2010 6:47:06 AM)
How about stop treating him like a blow up doll there to fulfill you? He deserves someone who thinks his style of lovemaking is absolutely wonderful. You obviously aren't her. And in the future, try observing this rule of thumb: If you can't talk about sex with someone, then you shouldn't be having it.

thishereboi -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/7/2010 6:49:05 AM)
Not sure, but if you can't get him to turn off the tv during sex, I think you have bigger problems than him not being dominant enough.

GraciousLady -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/7/2010 6:56:11 AM)
Talk to him. Comminication is important. If he isn't interested in being as kinky as you try a compromise. You must care for each other if you've been together for 3 years. It would be a shame to not be fully happy together.

ranja -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/7/2010 10:10:43 AM)
You do not tell him.... you have to ask nicely and precisely... probably again and again and again (some men are a bit slow) also you could give him control of your orgasms... ask him for permission if you want one...

ranja -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/7/2010 10:17:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP How about stop treating him like a blow up doll there to fulfill you? He deserves someone who thinks his style of lovemaking is absolutely wonderful. You obviously aren't her. And in the future, try observing this rule of thumb: If you can't talk about sex with someone, then you shouldn't be having it. ... some people get lazy in the bedroom department.... some people need a desperate shake up, there is nothing wrong with trying to find a way to have more 'interesting' sex and asking for advice some people might be a bit stuck and find it very difficult to actually talk about sex... sometimes these people still do the deed though... sometimes people can change things for the better by adjusting their attitude or reaction to situations without having to talk about the matter Des i think your advice to this 1st time poster stinks

divi -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/7/2010 10:39:40 AM)
Why not try discussing this with him .. Tell him what you like.. Try porn and show him and be like why dont we try this or that. If that doesnt work .. kick his boring ass to the curb

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