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Being my masters secret - 4/10/2006 9:05:39 PM   
NJSubGirl


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline 		Ok now i know im going to get heat from some of you but i need to know my role here..
Im very new to this whole scene! Like two weeks into it so im still learning ALOT!!
My master has a g/f at home where he lives. She's not into the lifestyle. He comes over a nite and I do as he says!
I would never think of calling him out on this.... I know my role with him and Im ok with it but Im curious how this is going to work with him. And Is this a comman thing that goes on? A man having a g/f and a slave?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/10/2006 9:07:50 PM   
gentlesweetDomme


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/11/2005
Status: offline 		NJsubgirl,
      If I were you, I would do whatever My master said.
I'm not mad atcha, lol 

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/10/2006 9:09:04 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		You're having an affair with another man.  Yes, it's just as common in bdsm for people to cheat as it is for them not to cheat. 

But what happens if you get into an accident- will your master come and help you through it?  Who will you invite over for holiday family dinners?

If you've thought about these questions and you're happy with the situation, then enjoy.



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/10/2006 9:09:40 PM   
NJSubGirl


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline 		thanks girl!!

I do whatever he says


(in reply to gentlesweetDomme)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/10/2006 9:10:08 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Sounds like you need to be talking to HIM, not to us.

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/10/2006 9:11:51 PM   
NJSubGirl


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline 		im not looking for holiday dinners and all that other stuff..

Im am aware of my role with him
but i guess my question is answered by you telling me that its the same as in any other type of relationship regardless of what your into...
thankyou

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/10/2006 9:13:13 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NJSubGirl

im not looking for holiday dinners and all that other stuff..

Im am aware of my role with him
but i guess my question is answered by you telling me that its the same as in any other type of relationship regardless of what your into...
thankyou

It's the same as any other affair.  It's not the same as the relationship he has with the original partner and woman he lives with.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/10/2006 9:19:48 PM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		honey, i was my Master's secret for 7 years... then i asked for release... i grew and needed more then he was able to give... We are still friends, but i will never come in second behind anyone else again... i am too important and too good of a submissive for anything less... You will see, but only when the time is right...

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/10/2006 9:22:59 PM   
NJSubGirl


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline 		ty for understanding...
Like I said before.... this is new to me! Im so excited by it all... so new and different and I love it so much!! Ive never exp. anything like it before! And the guilt that i should be feeling is overpowered by all the excitment going on! He's my first master.... Im sure in time when ive learned what I needed from him.... i will venture on.... but im caught up in all the excitment right now and not caring about much else...

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/10/2006 10:36:44 PM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

honey, i was my Master's secret for 7 years... then i asked for release... i grew and needed more then he was able to give... We are still friends, but i will never come in second behind anyone else again... i am too important and too good of a submissive for anything less... You will see, but only when the time is right...


Yes........I had an affair with a married man almost straight after I left my own husband. You always come second. It fizzled out when my father got seriously ill and I needed the guy's support and he couldn't/wouldn't be there for me. I also got tired of the sneaking around, of not being able to call him at certain times, of spending nights, weekends and holidays alone.

Since then I have met Master and we have been living together just over 2 years now. I now know what it's like to have someone consider me their first priority in life, and what it's like to be truly loved and cared about.

NJSubGirl I know what you mean about things being exciting and new for you but be prepared for the sub drop when it ends hun

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/10/2006 10:38:58 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline 		What I found encouraging about your post was your statement of how you know your role with him and accept it. So long as you do not lose sight of this, I don't see any problem with the relations you are having.

"Praised be the good willing women who understand and take part in the fun—the body is an exacting beater, and even the heart is made of flesh." — Franz Grillparzer (1791–1872)




< Message edited by amayos -- 4/10/2006 10:39:26 PM >

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/10/2006 11:30:46 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		well you sure know how to pick your first master eh? a liar and a cheat....good luck with him.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 2:29:16 AM   
CanadianGuy


Posts: 219
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

What I found encouraging about your post was your statement of how you know your role with him and accept it. So long as you do not lose sight of this, I don't see any problem with the relations you are having.

Absolutely agreed.  You need to stay honest with him and yourself, and if things get off track, correct them quickly.  Easier said than done, but if you are getting enjoyment from what you're doing, there is something being gained.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 3:02:59 AM   
Zensee


Posts: 1564
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		If you are comfortable with enabling him to lie and cheat and you are willing to accept the consequences, by all means continue. But when you find out he has a third or fourth piece on the side, don't come looking for sympathy here.

I hope, for your health, you are using condoms and avoiding all fluid exchanges etc.


_____________________________

"Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water." (proverb)

(in reply to CanadianGuy)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 3:06:44 AM   
SirCumsSlut


Posts: 433
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NJSubGirl

Ok now i know im going to get heat from some of you but i need to know my role here..
Im very new to this whole scene! Like two weeks into it so im still learning ALOT!!
My master has a g/f at home where he lives. She's not into the lifestyle. He comes over a nite and I do as he says!
I would never think of calling him out on this.... I know my role with him and Im ok with it but Im curious how this is going to work with him. And Is this a comman thing that goes on? A man having a g/f and a slave?


My question to you is......Does his girlfriend know and is she okay with it all????  If the answer is yes she knows then all is well....If she doesn't know then I have to agree that you made a wonderful first choice in a Master (being sarcastic)....Liars and cheats are the same everywhere and will leave you in the lurch

_____________________________

Peace
His slut


"Your firm hand and compassionate heart are what guide me in my journey....I am Yours, Sir" His slut

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 3:33:38 AM   
dsamethyst


Posts: 91
Joined: 9/20/2004
Status: offline 		being masters secret....


been there did that   did it again again...it seemed for the majority of my Bdsm life i was someone's little secret...but want to know a secret...it was okay....I knew that it was my place as well.  I drew my line at pregnant wives or girlfriends though...

I do not have sexual relations with my Doms so it really isnt a problem for me to be invovled with a married  man It also prevented me letting my mind even invent somehting that wasnt there.. I keep my Ds separate from my lovelife.

_____________________________

people will forget what you said
they will forgive what you did
but they will never forget the way you made them feel

(in reply to SirCumsSlut)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 3:34:34 AM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NJSubGirl

ty for understanding...
Like I said before.... this is new to me! Im so excited by it all... so new and different and I love it so much!! Ive never exp. anything like it before! And the guilt that i should be feeling is overpowered by all the excitment going on! He's my first master.... Im sure in time when ive learned what I needed from him.... i will venture on.... but im caught up in all the excitment right now and not caring about much else...


Sounds like you may have a perfect intro, then. You can learn what you need/want, and then move on when you are ready, and it doesn't need to be a big emotional production. As long as you both are on the same page, it's great and very liberating.

Of course it would be best if you know for sure that his gf is okay with all this, that she knows what is going on (no, that wouldn't be as uncommon as you'd think).

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 3:45:55 AM   
thepointmn


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Njsub,  I have read with interest this post and have also been involved in numerous relationships with similar characteristics.  The best way to handle a relationship is to define the rules you both will live by --and to make sure no one brings in a rule that one or the other does not agree to.  But even more important is that you both must realize the consequences that can happen when you are in a relationship that includes deceit and dishonesty.  If you both agree then the only real issue becomes the actions of others that he may include or actions that are taken by either of you that are not defined in the original relationship agreement.

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 3:52:25 AM   
philosophy


Posts: 5284
Joined: 2/15/2004
Status: offline 		.....see a lot of people saying something along the lines of 'as long as the two of you are in agreement'.......but the g/f is an unwilling third party in this. She has had no chance to consent and is basically being cheated on, not just by this master but by the sub that is actively colluding in this. Are there children involved? Is safe sex being practised? These are the more important questions surely......

(in reply to thepointmn)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 5:07:24 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirCumsSlut
My question to you is......Does his girlfriend know and is she okay with it all????  If the answer is yes she knows then all is well....If she doesn't know then I have to agree that you made a wonderful first choice in a Master (being sarcastic)....Liars and cheats are the same everywhere and will leave you in the lurch


This is the bottom line for me too.  If the girl friend is OK with this, you are OK and he is OK, things are fine.

However, if he is lying to her, you have to consider two factors.

First, this makes you a facilitator of a liar and any harm that comes to their relationship is partially your fault.

Second, liars don't just lie to specific people.  If he is lying to her, eventually he will lie to you. 

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to SirCumsSlut)
Profile   Post #: 20
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