Are pro dommes really dominant?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Are pro dommes really dominant?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Are pro dommes really dominant?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 12:10:16 PM

submale4u2spank

Posts: 75
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline

From what I've seen, women that work as professional dominatrices often aren't dominant in their personal relationship. Is this accurate and if so why?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 12:14:01 PM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

There is no single answer to this question. Some are, and some are not. It is certainly true that you'll find a lot of people faking it for money. You'll also find ladies in the profession who think it's hella fun to get paid for the stuff they enjoy anyway. The determining factor of who's a client and who's a personal play partner for those of us in this category mostly has to do with how much fun they are to be with versus whether they just want to get their do-me fetish satisfied immediately and not invest time or energy in a personal and social relationship.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to submale4u2spank)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 12:15:23 PM

SocratesNot

Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

From what I've seen, women that work as professional dominatrices often aren't dominant in their personal relationship. Is this accurate and if so why?

Sometimes this is true, but there are also many Dommes who are both pro and lifestyle.

Why is this so? I think because many women are attracted to the job of dominatrix because it is quite profitable job.

Also, most pro dommes love what they do, even though they are not sexually turned on by it. This is exciting job.
You don't have to be a dominant to enjoy doing it. And also, you can find pleasure in things even if they don's excite you sexually.

_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to submale4u2spank)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 12:23:40 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

We should probably run this by Seth and Amy.

"really."

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 6/6/2010 12:24:30 PM >

(in reply to submale4u2spank)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 12:26:45 PM

TheIronHorse

Posts: 149
Joined: 7/9/2007
Status: offline

I'm not hung up on what is or isn't. If I connect, I do, if I don't I won't. I'm certainly not looking for a micro manager or a control freak. I want to have fun.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 12:31:39 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

As LadyNTrainer said, there is no single answer to this question. Each Pro Domme is different.

But there certainly are Pro Dommes who are NOT dominant in their personal relationships. But that's because being a pro Domme is a job, and has nothing to do with the person's non-work persona. Many prostitutes provide dominatrix fantasies. They would technically fall into the category of pro Dommes. But would you expect them to be Dommes at home?

Would you expect the average janitor to have an immaculately clean home? Do you expect phone sex operators to talk dirty when they leave work? Personally, i have a close friend who is a chef. Because he cooks all day at work, he doesn't want to cook when he gets home, and he rarely does. His wife does all of the cooking.

The bottom line is that what one does professionally may not give an accurate picture of what they are like in their private life. Moreover, there is nothing wrong with being different at home versus at work. i am EXTREMELY dominant in my professional life, but i am submissive in my private life.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 6/6/2010 12:33:54 PM >

(in reply to submale4u2spank)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 12:38:01 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I have met many submissives who work as pro dominants... and as a dominant, and former pro, I admit that makes me insane. But, I took my work very very seriously, and the idea that someone was "faking it" for the money just doesn't sit well to this day. Phone actresses, I have no issue with. What can I tell ya?

I am not counting the escorts that do "domination" in that group, only because they work in a wider zone of fantasy fulfillment than pro doms.

Many pro dominants are lifestyle dominants. There was a time when ALL the major lifestyle parties in my area were run by pro doms. Something about the work ethic, maybe?

You ask a lot of oddball general questions, OP. I am willing to swear to you that there is no overreaching survey that explains the behavior of those in the scene. WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS, and have our differences and similarities.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 12:47:30 PM

LadyCimarron

Posts: 625
Joined: 12/29/2009
Status: offline

Some are, some aren't. They are called PROFESSIONALS. As long as they provide a professional service it really doesn't matter how they run their private life.

(in reply to submale4u2spank)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 12:50:26 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

FR,

You know, if there were a market for it, I reckon I could make a go at it as a pro-Dom. I'm a sub, so I have a sense of what gives subs their jollies and (as I've frequently moaned, here) I've had more than one ex-gf who's ended up somehow manipulating me into 'acting the Dom'.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 12:54:53 PM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

LadyCimarron,

quote:

Some are, some aren't. They are called PROFESSIONALS. As long as they provide a professional service it really doesn't matter how they run their private life.

+1

E.

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 12:56:27 PM

gedienstig

Posts: 155
Joined: 5/9/2010
Status: offline

Well, how many men really can go 24/7? Not like "Oh I will do everything for Mistress if I can kiss her feet," but in reality, they do smoe foot worship and then you don't hear about them. I've heard that some Pro Dommes would want a 24/7 Femdom relationship, but they've had some nasty experience with these faker kind of slaves, and then decided that vanilla guys are more reliable partners...

Just what I heard though, I'm a sub guy, so I wouldn't know, but that could also be an explanation why some Pro Dommes have a vanilla relationship.

_____________________________

If they say why, why?
Tell 'em that it's human nature

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 12:59:15 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Well, I wouldn't actually PAY you, Peon, but I'd front you a pint.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to gedienstig)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 1:04:31 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Since we're talking American beer here, I think five pints would be more reasonable.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 1:08:23 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

American beer? Do I seem like some kind of a piker??

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 1:16:37 PM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

PeonForHer,

quote:

Since we're talking American beer here, I think five pints would be more reasonable.

The Canadian stuff might be more agreeable to the English pallet. We have a term for most American beer which, due to social courtesy, I won't repeat.

E.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 1:20:58 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Since I don't drink American beer myself, Elan, you need not worry!! I'll take a Labatt's or Molson over our stuff any day! With the EXCEPTION of Sam Adams.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to ElanSubdued)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 1:21:35 PM

LadyCimarron

Posts: 625
Joined: 12/29/2009
Status: offline

I wonder if subs who go to professional Dommes are submissive in their personal lives?

(in reply to submale4u2spank)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 1:27:08 PM

MsLadySue

Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

And what inner knowledge have you obtained to know pro dominants are not sexually turned on by what they do?

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to SocratesNot)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: Are pro dommes really dominant? - 6/6/2010 1:29:28 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadySue

And what inner knowledge have you obtained to know pro dominants are not sexually turned on by what they do?

The same way he decided it was "profitable", I guess. Or easy! {cringing at the memory of our overhead for the studio...}

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to MsLadySue)