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What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 10:58:24 AM

MistressWriter

Posts: 11
Joined: 6/2/2010
From: Boston, MA
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I'm pretty sure somewhere a part of this question was covered not that long ago, but I can't seem to find it. Anyhow, I was planning on going further than that one post anyway, so here's my question to all Dommes out there, and subs/slaves can feel free to answer as well:

If you're chatting with someone online, that you just met, what would you prefer they call you? From my experience, a lot of subs will start calling you Ma'am right off the bat, using it throughout the emails they send. Would you stick with that term, or would you prefer they call you something else, such as Mistress, your profile name, or even your real first name? Madame might work, if you're already married, according to the dictionary. And, if I left any other terms out, feel free to list them.

Also, do you like certain titles, such as Mistress, used ONLY by those you've either met in person or have actually collared?

The same goes for the subs/slaves in your life. What do you call them? Their real name, or a title? When you've only just met online, or once you've met in person, or finally collared them?

I just thought it would be interesting to see the responses. You don't have to answer all the questions if you don't want to.

_____________________________

-MistressWriter

"I can do what I need to do. I can get where I want to go, no matter how hard it is." -Micky Bellsong in One Door Away From Heaven by Dean Koontz

Post #: 1

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:03:59 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

My first name. I hate most other things with a fiery fiery passion.

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Post #: 2

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:05:34 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

My name is Francine. That works fine. Ma'am is okay, because it's a courtesy. Otherwise, I am not one for titles, mainly because they indicate a relationship that IS NOT THERE. If I say, Please don't call me Mistress, and get an argument? It's a good sign of a fantasy wank.

I like using names, I don't really do pet names much, aside from the usual baby honey kind of thing. (I call all my male pals "baby"! horrible habit!)

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Post #: 3

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:09:18 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
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From: The cold bit of the UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

My first name. I hate most other things with a fiery fiery passion.

[slight hijack]

so "cutie-pie" would be out of the question?

[/slight hijack]

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Post #: 4

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:10:32 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
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I prefer they use my name.....Ma'am if they just cannot bring themselves to use my name.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MistressWriter)

Post #: 5

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:11:07 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

My first name. I hate most other things with a fiery fiery passion.

[slight hijack]

so "cutie-pie" would be out of the question?

[/slight hijack]

guess "poopsie" is a no-no too, huh?

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Post #: 6

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:12:32 AM

childoftheshadow

Posts: 458
Joined: 8/2/2006
From: London UK
Status: offline

I personally don't like the use of *titles* from people I'm not involved with. I've lost count of how many times I've had to ask/tell people to stop using "Mistress" "Ma'am" or whatever the title flavor of the month may be. If it's online then the use of my username will do just fine, at a munch or other event my name works. That goes the other way too, I'll use their username or proper name when speaking to them.

Once involvement is established I prefer "Miss" over other titles and I'll use their name or something along the lines of hun/sweetie/sweetheart . . . it doesn't mean anything, I use them with most people I know. Eventually I find a pet name that suits and I'll use that if the involvement has progressed that far.

My partner calls me a great many things, Miss in "serious" situations and all kinds of pet names in day to day life. I honestly can't remember when he last used my proper name when speaking to me, then again I can't remember the last time I called him by name either. For him I use various pet names.

(in reply to MistressWriter)

Post #: 7

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:15:29 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
(I call all my male pals "baby"! horrible habit!)

I thought adults only referred to each other as 'baby' in nasty pop songs. How loathsome of you, Lady Hib.

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Post #: 8

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:15:33 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

...if they just cannot bring themselves to use my name.

I'm almost scared to wonder what your name is, now.

It's so bad that people can't bring themselves to use it?!

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Post #: 9

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:17:10 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
(I call all my male pals "baby"! horrible habit!)

I thought adults only referred to each other as 'baby' in nasty pop songs. How loathsome of you, Lady Hib.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 10

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:22:49 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

...if they just cannot bring themselves to use my name.

I'm almost scared to wonder what your name is, now.

It's so bad that people can't bring themselves to use it?!

It's LeeAnn. However, I have met quite a few s-types that feel using it is too familiar and it just freaks them out to use it. I don't have the patience for all the painful stammering and stuttering caused by them trying to get it out. So we compromise at Ma'am.

I would also be good with HerRoyalHighnessQueenBitchoftheFuckinUniverse......... but it is a bit of a mouthful.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 11

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:25:45 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

It's LeeAnn. However, I have met quite a few s-types that feel using it is too familiar and it just freaks them out to use it. I don't have the patience for all the painful stammering and stuttering caused by them trying to get it out. So we compromise at Ma'am.

I would also be good with HerRoyalHighnessQueenBitchoftheFuckinUniverse......... but it is a bit of a mouthful.

...you know I was just teasing, right?

I knew what you meant

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

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Post #: 12

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:31:01 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I was pretty sure but figured I may as well explain a bit better anyhooo.

It was a long tiring weekend and my brain seems to have stayed home in bed when the rest of me came to work.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 13

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:36:21 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

I would also be good with HerRoyalHighnessQueenBitchoftheFuckinUniverse.

damnit...i just KNEW i should have taken a copyright on that when i had the chance...

_____________________________

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Post #: 14

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:36:30 AM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
I would also be good with HerRoyalHighnessQueenBitchoftheFuckinUniverse......... but it is a bit of a mouthful.

OMG, i LOVE it!!!

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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Post #: 15

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:44:25 AM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigress

I would also be good with HerRoyalHighnessQueenBitchoftheFuckinUniverse......... but it is a bit of a mouthful.

does one worthy have to add Mistress to that ?

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Post #: 16

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 11:57:32 AM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

How bout my fuckin' name? Nothing wrong with that. It's what normal human beings do. People who assume that because I'm kinky it's instantly okay to submit to me or dominate me are violating the most fundamental principle of our lifestyle, and that's consent. No, I'm not gonna call anybody else by a kinky scene title. No, I don't want you to call me by a kinky scene title. If we don't know each other, we should be behaving like normal polite adults while making our acquaintance. If you do anything else, I am going to think that you are seriously creepy and/or living in a kinky fantasy world.

I'm okay with the Ma'am and Sir thing from Southerners who address everyone like that in day to day life out of normal social politeness. Being a transplanted Yank myself, it's not the direction I prefer to go, but I won't yell at people who do go there because it's just what they were raised with to show ordinary courtesy that is not sexual or kinky.

Online, being addressed by my screen name is fine, it shows that they respect my choice of labels for myself. Anything beyond that.....well, let's say that if all you ever want to be is a client who interacts with me according to a fantasy template and will never get to know me as a friend, a human being or a personal play partner, that's where you'll lock yourself in if you approach me that way. I'll put up with it if I'm paid to do so, but in my personal life, if you don't present yourself first as a normal polite human being to whom I can relate socially, you won't ever be one to me.

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Post #: 17

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 12:13:43 PM

LadyCimarron

Posts: 625
Joined: 12/29/2009
Status: offline

I live in the south and around here most of the men I meet in my vanilla life call me Ma'am or Ms. (my first name) without anyone telling them too. So when guys in the lifestyle ask what to call me I tell them to call me the same thing. For some reason I really hate to be called Mistress.

(in reply to MistressWriter)

Post #: 18

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 12:28:41 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: divi

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigress

I would also be good with HerRoyalHighnessQueenBitchoftheFuckinUniverse......... but it is a bit of a mouthful.

does one worthy have to add Mistress to that ?

Only if it is actually applicable.........aka, I own your sexy ass.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to divi)

Post #: 19

RE: What should they call you? - 6/7/2010 12:41:00 PM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

LeeAnn you're a hottie ...

I think you should cage fight Lady Pact to see who would be my favorite Domme lol

edits.. I so think you could take her

< Message edited by divi -- 6/7/2010 12:46:13 PM >

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

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Post #: 20

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