Public or Private Displays.

Public or Private Displays. (Full Version)

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DommeKeliDallas -> Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 11:58:37 AM)
I would like to know how people feel about public or private play. I feel very strongly that what goes on between 2 people should remain private.

LadyCimarron -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 12:06:39 PM)
I agree. Either keep it at home or in public dungeons and clubs especially made for that kind of play.

leadership527 -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 12:07:54 PM)
Interesting question. Understand that I am about as vanilla as they come aside from the whole M/s thing. My sensibilities generally conform to the vanilla world. I don't "play". All that being said, I'm a huge believer in "When in Rome, wear a toga". If I went to some place were it was socially acceptable to play in public and I had the inclination to play, then I would. In other words, I think "what is and is not acceptable" is an interaction between myself and the social norms of the environment I find myself in.

IronBear -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 12:10:43 PM)
Ayep to both. For me there is some areas I am happy to be involved in "Publicly" (I.E. Dungeons of Play Parties) others I am a very private (and shy) person. Also it depends on the crowd there too, with some groups of folks I know, I'd not want to expose any slave of mine to the carping hypercritical back biting. "Warning: the surgeon general has determined that bothering me before my first cup of coffee is hazardous to your health"

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 12:29:03 PM)
quote: I feel very strongly that what goes on between 2 people should remain private. You really need to qualify that. Should two people not be allowed to hold hands? Is that "too private?" Are they allowed to say "Yes sir?" Are they allowed to wear what their owners told them to wear? 90% of the world doesn't care or doesn't matter, you could practically light yourself on fire and they wouldn't notice. 5% of the world cares but doesn't matter 5% of the world cares and matters- those are the ones you actually have to think about Where I draw the line is actively pushing myself into others space- and amazingly this works identically for "vanilla" as it does for "non vanilla!" Loud phone call? Rude. Loud whip cracking inside? Rude. Having my darling boy kneel before me to put a new shoe to try on and prance for him is a fun lovely afternoon- it does no harm, impacts no one and is of zero consequence. But I dislike someone who would put a girl kneeling inside the door of a club with a sign that says "I am being punished" because I don't want your stupid negative energy clouding up my space and involving me in your personal relationship issues. So, again, for me what matters is "Am I pushing myself into others space and interfering with their own attention?"

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 12:32:20 PM)
Define "play." If you mean flogging someone on a public street or taking a guy to Victoria's Secret to buy lingerie for his cross-dressing fantsy, then I'm not in favor of it. If you mean going shopping with my girl and having her open doors for me, carry all the packages, and I order lunch for her, then I have no problem with it at all.

LadyPact -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 2:14:21 PM)
Count Me in with you being too vague. Define play. For that matter, define public. There are a heck of a lot more things that I'll do at a BDSM club than I will on main street. If you can't handle Me flogging My sub, or leading him on a leash, or sticking needles in him, I suggest you stay 'in private' because that's what you're going to see. I curtail My activities so that I don't expose people who didn't particularly consent to seeing them. More often than not, I'll even keep edgier scenes or those that I know are more likely to offend at home. I'm fully aware of how to conduct Myself and have a conservative enough view of My activities. I do, however, think those who believe all BDSM should be done in private to be a bit unrealistic.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 2:34:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross snip Having my darling boy kneel before me to put a new shoe to try on and prance for him is a fun lovely afternoon- it does no harm, impacts no one and is of zero consequence. But I dislike someone who would put a girl kneeling inside the door of a club with a sign that says "I am being punished" because I don't want your stupid negative energy clouding up my space and involving me in your personal relationship issues. So, again, for me what matters is "Am I pushing myself into others space and interfering with their own attention?" You really can not know that no one is impacted by the bolded behavior. It might not get someone screaming and calling 911, afraid that you are being hurt or abused, but you have no way of knowing that no one is noticing and thinking ewwwwww. I dont even like seeing folks swap spit in public, so I admit to being a prude about PDA's. Sure, it might turn on 6 of ten folks watching, 3 not care, but 1 getting squicked by something that could be done in private is the one I try to have the respect for.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 2:37:17 PM)
quote: but you have no way of knowing that no one is noticing and thinking ewwwwww. And because of that, this is their issue, not mine. If someone chooses to take a passive personal act and make it into their issue, that's on them. The same could happen if a vegan saw me eating a hamburger, that doesn't make loving my meat in any way inappropriate.

IronBear -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 2:39:18 PM)
Some how I don't think LA was referring to public displays of genitals or public demonstrations of wanking, but hey if that's what the public need lets have at them.... Gather round the biscuit and jerk off. Last one to cum gets to eat the soggy biscuit (cracker for those in the US).. [:-][8\|][;)][:'(]

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 2:45:29 PM)
Yes I rather enjoyed the double entendre my analogy opened, hence my choice to word it exactly that way.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 2:46:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: but you have no way of knowing that no one is noticing and thinking ewwwwww. And because of that, this is their issue, not mine. If someone chooses to take a passive personal act and make it into their issue, that's on them. The same could happen if a vegan saw me eating a hamburger, that doesn't make loving my meat in any way inappropriate. I dont see it as a passive act. If I saw a guy kneeling and putting on a ladies shoes for her, and he did not have a name tag on indicating he worked there, I would go ewww. But, like I said, I admit to being a prude about some things. quote: Some how I don't think LA was referring to public displays of genitals or public demonstrations of wanking, but hey if that's what the public need lets have at them.... Gather round the biscuit and jerk off. Last one to cum gets to eat the soggy biscuit (cracker for those in the US).. Ha! I hope I did not make the impression I thought LA was indicating any action except the one I bolded. If so, my apologies. Now, let me make note.....never eat the crackers at IronBears house.... [;)]

IronBear -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 2:55:46 PM)
Ahh but you see lass, the hook is that many who read that post of mine and some time later make a salad on a cracker with mayonnaise on it of even mayonnaise on anything will remember and be unable to eat the mayo....... Wonder why I am called an evil bastard... [;)] We don't serve crackers at Bruin Cottage but we do serve Gourmet Dinners and snacks.. (without mayonnaise).

LadyPact -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 3:09:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub I dont see it as a passive act. If I saw a guy kneeling and putting on a ladies shoes for her, and he did not have a name tag on indicating he worked there, I would go ewww. But, like I said, I admit to being a prude about some things. Yeah, on that one, you probably are being a bit of a prude. This one has not a thing to do with BDSM. It does have something to do with the cute little sandals that I like to wear and the darn little buckles that have stems so small that a number of folks can't see if they are sitting straight up. Yes, My husband has been known to help Me put them on in public. I don't think anybody has had an issue with it. If they do, it's easy enough to explain that My eyes aren't what they used to be.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 3:30:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub I dont see it as a passive act. If I saw a guy kneeling and putting on a ladies shoes for her, and he did not have a name tag on indicating he worked there, I would go ewww. But, like I said, I admit to being a prude about some things. Yeah, on that one, you probably are being a bit of a prude. This one has not a thing to do with BDSM. It does have something to do with the cute little sandals that I like to wear and the darn little buckles that have stems so small that a number of folks can't see if they are sitting straight up. Yes, My husband has been known to help Me put them on in public. I don't think anybody has had an issue with it. If they do, it's easy enough to explain that My eyes aren't what they used to be. I know LP. I am good with being a prude. It is my one fault...(pause for the vomit to go back down my throat that typing that lie brought up). In many ways, I do not care what others think of me, but in some I am too damn careful about being sure to not offend others.

sublizzie -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 3:50:20 PM)
I used to worry a lot about how people viewed me and what I looked like or did. Just don't have the energy to deal with that stuff anymore. Most people don't give a rat's ass what I'm doing. Those who do either don't matter or love me regardless so it really doesn't matter. re: the OP. You'd really have to define your question a lot better. Are you discussing overt sexuality in a public situation (like the grocery store)? Or are you discussing "play" at a play party? I am one who can separate "play" from sex so I can play at a play party without any problem but I can't imagine being overtly sexual in a public arena (ie the grocery store).

MissBeautiful2U -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 4:04:49 PM)
Personally, I think it comes down to what would offend a reasonable person in a particular setting... lol and now let's define a "reasonable person". Good luck with that. I think we all pretty much have a pretty good idea what would and would not be acceptable to most people. Having a guy help put on shoes seems perfectly acceptable. Having him suck toes in a shoe store would be unacceptable. To me seeing a couple hold hands in a mall is perfectly normal. Seeing them give a quick kiss is normal. Seeing them kissing in a very intimate, deep way, while arousing to me, would be inappropriate to the setting and therefore I would not approve of it. I have no issues with someone playing at public play parties, dungeons, etc. Those places set acceptable standards of conduct. I'm sure there are some that allow more than others. Personally, I like very discreet public play... things that would not be obviously sexual to anyone who was not aware that there was something else going on. Such as the example that SylvereApLeanan gave of having their sub open doors, carry packages and ordering for them. Personally, I have no issues with a guy who is CD going into Victoria's Secret and shopping for underwear, provided they aren't making a scene. At my local mall, guys go in their all the time shopping with their gf's or wives. Who would know the difference? Perhaps the clerk would have some suspicions based on the size and the fact that it is not that uncommon of a fetish but it could equally be a gift for a very good friend who was getting married or whatever. Other discreet public play might be having a boy where a chastity device when we go out. NOBODY could tell just looking at his outward appearance. So it is "public play" that does not affect those who have not consented to being a part of the scene. Just my thoughts. Miss Robin

littlewonder -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 4:13:28 PM)
We're really not big on public displays of "affection" but there is a time and place for everything. One doesn't have to be overt to do things in public.

BitaTruble -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 4:17:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas I would like to know how people feel about public or private play. I'm an advocate. [:D]

DomImus -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/7/2010 4:33:14 PM)
I'll add another vote for your question being too vague. I think people have a reasonable right and expectation not to be exposed to someone being flogged at the bus stop. Public play in a suitable venue like a dungeon or play party? It's not my thing but to each his or her own. For me the flesh is a private celebration but that's only for me.

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