RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme

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stef -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/12/2006 9:13:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy Now that's the spirit!! But please be careful of that peskly TOS, you never know when the nuns will wrap your knuckles citing: >4.3.(8) Insults to other persons or companies, including but not limited to: material that is threatening, harassing, libelous or in any way a violation of intellectual property laws.< Oh man, don't mention the nuns, unless they're wearing latex. I had an ex-nun (it was never explained how she lost her 'nunliness,' at least not to her students) for a teacher in 4th grade who was nuts. She wielded a meterstick like a cross between Sister Mary Stigmata from "The Blues Brothers" and Zatoichi. Ms. McMahon still scares me. quote: Don't worry, you have my support (O and that counts of a lot) because I think "the truth" although unpleasant, is best heard and spoken aloud. I appreciate the support, but as you so eloquently point out there's the truth and there's "the truth." [;)] ~stef

Real0ne -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/13/2006 2:40:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colosubseeking i dont really know what got this all started, but can we lay off the flamewar please? i was hoping this would be a nice, peaceful thread where i could get some advice. And to those of y/You that have given advice/opinions, thank y/You for y/Your time, and i appreciate the input. i've pretty much decided that i am not going to cancel my appointment, and i think i will enjoy myself immensely. i'll be as polite and courteous as i can, and do everything i can to impress, but i won't get my hopes up. WOW looks like i missed a great pissing contest here! who won? If you can it is a very good idea to take someone along with you. get the address you are going to, make sure that its the same one you play at if not run. do the call thing too. Of course the safest way to play is once again take a friend along. Did i mention take a friend? Oh forget the impressing, just do what she tells ya to do. its no diffferent than going into the doctor they say roll over you roll over, sit you sit, and then when she says next you leave just liek seeing the doctor.

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/13/2006 2:45:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef quote: ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood Myself, I'm going to go get a pedicure tomorrow. My pedicurist is obviously a bad person because she expects me to pay for her services so perhaps she's not a real pedicurist because she does this as a profession and is not, I don't believe, a lifestyle pedicurist. How can you condone such an activity by wasting your money on a player like that? Anyone who would leach off of others like that can't be good. If you're only interested in the "technical" aspects of the pedicurist lifestyle it might be ok, but you lose the emotional and personable aspects of the lifestyle. There's no "REAL" emotional connection there. ~stef You're probably right, but here's the problem as I see it. Even if I was willing to live the pedicurist lifestyle and see only lifestyle pedicurists, I really don't want to stop seeing my manicurists. In fact, my manicurist is very important to me and I'd expect my pedicurist to accept that. I also will want pedicures, real time, regularly, from a pedicurist who lives close enough to me to be convenient (I'm just not willing to drive 2 hours for a pedicure). I'd also have to find a lifestyle pedicurist who had a dedicated pedicurist space, with the appropriate pedicurist furniture, equipement, and who will dress in an appropriate pedicurist outfit. I suppose I could just cyber-pedicure online until I meet a lifestyle pedicurist who meets my demands...err...standards...but the problem is, how do I know they are REALLY pedicurists I'm talking to?

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/13/2006 2:49:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colosubseeking Well, i guess i should have read the fine print more carefully first, but apparently Thunder is only open to people 21 and over, and i'm 20 [&:]. Unless they are willing to make an exception, i may have to wait until next year.... Groups are usually pretty strict about age limits and don't make exceptions, but there is always next year. Don't sweat it...all of this is a journey - keep a good attitude, focus on school and get good grades, and the next year will pass quickly.

Real0ne -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/13/2006 3:06:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood quote: ORIGINAL: stef quote: ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood Myself, I'm going to go get a pedicure tomorrow. My pedicurist is obviously a bad person because she expects me to pay for her services so perhaps she's not a real pedicurist because she does this as a profession and is not, I don't believe, a lifestyle pedicurist. How can you condone such an activity by wasting your money on a player like that? Anyone who would leach off of others like that can't be good. If you're only interested in the "technical" aspects of the pedicurist lifestyle it might be ok, but you lose the emotional and personable aspects of the lifestyle. There's no "REAL" emotional connection there. ~stef You're probably right, but here's the problem as I see it. Even if I was willing to live the pedicurist lifestyle and see only lifestyle pedicurists, I really don't want to stop seeing my manicurists. In fact, my manicurist is very important to me and I'd expect my pedicurist to accept that. I also will want pedicures, real time, regularly, from a pedicurist who lives close enough to me to be convenient (I'm just not willing to drive 2 hours for a pedicure). I'd also have to find a lifestyle pedicurist who had a dedicated pedicurist space, with the appropriate pedicurist furniture, equipement, and who will dress in an appropriate pedicurist outfit. I suppose I could just cyber-pedicure online until I meet a lifestyle pedicurist who meets my demands...err...standards...but the problem is, how do I know they are REALLY pedicurists I'm talking to? nothing like a little excursion to the absurd!

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/13/2006 3:10:03 AM)
quote: nothing like a little excursion to the absurd! Of course it's absurd. I really don't have any intention of seeking out a lifestyle pedicurist ;-)

Real0ne -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/13/2006 3:18:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood quote: nothing like a little excursion to the absurd! Of course it's absurd. I really don't have any intention of seeking out a lifestyle pedicurist ;-) no the whole comparison is absurd.

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/13/2006 3:30:52 AM)
Of course it is. However, I find it equally absurd that people shake their fist about others seeing prodommes and rant about how they aren't real and are players....but have absolutely no real time experience whatsoever with either prodommes or lifestyle dommes on which to base such judgement. If a sub doesn't want to see a prodomme - then don't. End of story. Sour grapes.

TeeGO -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/13/2006 9:02:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA i'm not down yet. so don't count me out prematurely Yes you are. That is unless you want to get up off the mat and answer the question. quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Would you respond to 25 - 30 emails from GAY MEN who know you are straight but just want to say hi and "maybe we can be friends even though I know I am not what you seek?" Or will you ignore those "innapropriate emails" and let them all down? Akasha

Real0ne -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/13/2006 11:54:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood Of course it is. However, I find it equally absurd that people shake their fist about others seeing prodommes and rant about how they aren't real and are players....but have absolutely no real time experience whatsoever with either prodommes or lifestyle dommes on which to base such judgement. If a sub doesn't want to see a prodomme - then don't. End of story. Sour grapes. As a whole i do not think people are shaking their fists at all about seeing a pro domme in fact the contrary, they greater majority are saying if the itch is so strong that they cannot wait to find someone in the lifestyle or they are clueless as to what its about or if this is a matter of convenience then go see a pro including me. Now i on the other hand have several combined years serving pros and the best example i can come up with as for how real it is, well if you feel making a movie carries the same efficacy as real life then its real. They represent a fascimile of the real but its not any more real than a movie and the scripts that go along with it are all bought and paid for at absurd prices. Sure they get to do what they want as long as it satisfies the customer, which is to do what the SUB wants. a good pro always leaves a hunger, does what the sub wants but not all, or something similar to what the sub wants but not exactly what he wants to provide the illusion he is getting exactly what he wants and bait the hook for the next visit. try not giving a pain slut pain and see what happens. if its not what the SUB WANTS they do not come back and the cash register does not go cha ching. Its not much different than ordering a pizza and choosing the toppings. Lifestyle and fundamentalist slavery doesnt operate on the same plane and pro dommes that would tell us otherwise are getting a fist shaken at them because they fail to see the difference in which case its really the the pro who does not have the expereince to base such a judgement. end of story

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/13/2006 12:35:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Real0ne Its not much different than ordering a pizza and choosing the toppings. Lifestyle and fundamentalist slavery doesnt operate on the same plane and pro dommes that would tell us otherwise are getting a fist shaken at them because they fail to see the difference in which case its really the the pro who does not have the expereince to base such a judgement. end of story For once, I actually agree with you RealOne! At least in part. I know there are some who develop a certain relationship with their Pro Dominas, and more than just the sensation energy will flow. But for the most part, when a boy visits a Pro he is not seeking a relationship, per se. He is seeking sensation play, and that is a different kind of energy. I am not sure I have seen anyone suggest to the OP that he should rely or pin his hopes on moving into a more personal relationship with this Pro. It is a good way to get his feet wet, but he is probably not going to get any real sense of a D/s relationship. He will get a sense of the sensation that happens during play or scenes, and can determine what he likes and how far he might be able to go with some of that. Again, the difference between D/s and M/s and BDSM. Remember, most of the boys who seek a Pro are looking for "no strings attached" role play. It relieves a temporary need, and then they go back to a wife or SO. Yes, indeedy, they role play by the hour. How many boys are looking for this exact thing? They say they want lifestyle, when all they really want is the play. If that is what they project, that is why they are referred to a Pro. Then they get angry and try to say it is not real. Well, what they want is not real, in the first place. It is temporary. So they should either find a Dominant friend with benefits, or they should seek out a Pro. I am tired of being approached so a boy can try Me on for size. He can either pay for My time, in that case, or he can move on down the road.

MistressLorelei -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/13/2006 3:33:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Real0ne quote: ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood Of course it is. However, I find it equally absurd that people shake their fist about others seeing prodommes and rant about how they aren't real and are players....but have absolutely no real time experience whatsoever with either prodommes or lifestyle dommes on which to base such judgement. If a sub doesn't want to see a prodomme - then don't. End of story. Sour grapes. As a whole i do not think people are shaking their fists at all about seeing a pro domme in fact the contrary, they greater majority are saying if the itch is so strong that they cannot wait to find someone in the lifestyle or they are clueless as to what its about or if this is a matter of convenience then go see a pro including me. Now i on the other hand have several combined years serving pros and the best example i can come up with as for how real it is, well if you feel making a movie carries the same efficacy as real life then its real. They represent a fascimile of the real but its not any more real than a movie and the scripts that go along with it are all bought and paid for at absurd prices. Sure they get to do what they want as long as it satisfies the customer, which is to do what the SUB wants. a good pro always leaves a hunger, does what the sub wants but not all, or something similar to what the sub wants but not exactly what he wants to provide the illusion he is getting exactly what he wants and bait the hook for the next visit. try not giving a pain slut pain and see what happens. if its not what the SUB WANTS they do not come back and the cash register does not go cha ching. Its not much different than ordering a pizza and choosing the toppings. Lifestyle and fundamentalist slavery doesnt operate on the same plane and pro dommes that would tell us otherwise are getting a fist shaken at them because they fail to see the difference in which case its really the the pro who does not have the expereince to base such a judgement. end of story I also am agreeing (in part) with you Real One (this time). While seeing a Pro Domme is only a peek into reality, it can also help define what you have to offer in a long-term D/s relationship, as well as define things you never want to experience again. Movie or not, if you watch enough Sci Fi movies and realize you hate them, you will realize they aren't your thing. A submissive with no experience who thinks he will be able to tolerate all that is thrown at him, is often not as ready for a relastionship as the one who has practiced in various positions for the big game. Additionally, there are so many submissives who insist that they will never pay for a 'Domme', but in reality what they are looking for from Me is a free (Non-Pro) session. I am not a Pro, but I am not a free Domme service, here to fulffill every kinky fantasy a sub has. "submissives" like this will likely not find a long-term relationship, as what they seek is an extended Pro Session for free.

kc692 -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/13/2006 10:48:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold quote: ORIGINAL: michaelGA but, it's really not real...it's role playing by the hour. Michael! Get a grip! Anytime (and I mean ANYTIME) you have a casual "see ya next week" relationship, whether money is changing hands or not...you are role playing by the hour. I don't care how much you talk about loyalty. When I can call you at 2AM because I want a hot fudge sundae, I will consider you to be "My submissive". I see you have changed your profile and you are now also seeking a mentor who is willing to teach you to be dominant so you can broaden your horizons. What horizons? chuckles, as luck would have it, its only 12:45 not, 2 am, and you made me splatter my drink(fortunately, not a hot fudge sundae,!!!) all over the screen. Dusty, my friend, you gave me a wonderful idea, though, smiles.............(wanders off to find a hot fudge sundae, grinz), Edited to add: I hope that mentor wants to do it for free, Michael, and ,not, heavens forbid, charge for taking their time and knowledge and teaching you.....

colosubseeking -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/25/2006 12:32:14 AM)
Just an update for everyone who asked me to tell them how it went: The session was mind-blowing, everything i hoped it would be and more. W/we have entered into a non-professional relationship, and seeing where things go from here. And to everyone who said Pro-Dommes were a waste of time and money: i don't think you could be more wrong.

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/25/2006 5:27:39 AM)
quote: Just an update for everyone who asked me to tell them how it went: The session was mind-blowing, everything i hoped it would be and more. W/we have entered into a non-professional relationship, and seeing where things go from here. And to everyone who said Pro-Dommes were a waste of time and money: i don't think you could be more wrong. How wonderful to hear that :-) I wish you much luck. Incidentally I do intend to get a pedicure this week, and yes, I plan on seeing a pro.

SweetPosession -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/27/2006 1:08:02 PM)
A lot of people in the community do see professionals, and for the most part it's an accepted practice. If She's experienced and skilled, having a pro pop your kink cherry will ensure a safe environment, which is the key to all play. Also, she might have some experience with first-timers and will be able to calibrate her actions. On the other hand, she could easily be a total idiot and the session could land you in serious therepy. But that's a possibility with anyone, so good luck. It's not really reasonable to expect a pro to give a client freebies. She's a businesswoman. You're a client. If she presents you with the fantasy of a relationship, it's because clients enhoy the fantasy and it keeps them coming back--and paying--always hoping this will be the last check they sign. It won't happen, sweetie. [edit] Having read what you wrote about the session, I'm really suprised. I'm jaded I guess, and I can't help but wonder what she's playing at... good luck though!

MichMasochist -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/27/2006 6:22:42 PM)
Typically a working girl doesn't give it away for free. That's bad for bussiness. So I'd think somethings wrong.

WeeIttyBitty -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/27/2006 8:01:33 PM)
I have to agree. She maybe trying to get a series of regular sessions booked with you. But then again, I dont know the girl, dont know what really happened, so maybe you found something unique for your self. I visited a pro dom for the first time in 1989. I havent gone to many over the years, but sometimes its the only way a guy is able to play....

colosubseeking -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/27/2006 8:57:47 PM)
Well, being as that She hasn't even -mentioned- money again, i'm guessing that MichMasochist and WeeIttyBitty are just bitter. Keep your negativity to yourself, please.

disretion7 -> RE: Newbie seeking advice RE: pro domme (4/27/2006 10:44:08 PM)
Dear colosubseeking, I see you already got a lot of good answers here, already, for whatever mine is worth. I've never been able to come under a purely lifestyle domme and I suspect most other guy seldom can, either, because male submissives substantially outnumber female dommes. I HAVE been under 9 pro-dommes, already, and though, they did not filful ALL of my fantasies, they were all so good that I feel like they ALL gave me great experiences for the money, whatever purists think on the matter. Furthermore, I came away with extensive video, of my experiences, to view or share. Perhaps not right for everyone but I suspect that yourself and most others would not regret a pro-domme experience. Respectfully, disretion7

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