RE: Never ever. Ever!!!

RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (Full Version)

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LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 8:36:57 AM)
I'll never be monogamous. It's not a big deal, unless I was stupid enough to deny my true self. You don't seem to distinguish being solid in yourself and your choices based on security and experience, and being afraid of change.

Missokyst -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 8:39:20 AM)
what she said

leadership527 -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 8:41:39 AM)
I'm not real big on totalities and absolutes when it comes to human beings. I dislike the word "never" as much as I dislike the word "total". I, for one, refuse to hem myself with arbitrary rules and boundaries. Right now, I am uninterested in topping men. Tomorrow? Tomorrow hasn't happened yet and at best I'd say it's more likely than not that I'll still be uninterested in topping men.

BitaTruble -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 8:51:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot I'm asking about some things that are objectively not a very big deal, yet quite a lot of people say they would never do them. It's subjective, not objective. That's why it may be no big deal to you, but to someone else, it's a very big deal.

peppermint -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 9:04:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot OK peppermint, my hard limit are strawberries - I am allergic to them. I understand that there are some unusual hard limits. I'm asking about some things that are objectively not a very big deal, yet quite a lot of people say they would never do them. Why ? - I don't know!!! That's why I started the thread ! Guess what??!!! It's none of your business. They are not obligated to ask YOUR permission for THEIR limits. They are NOT obligated to explain anything to anyone, especially someone with whom they are not having a relationship. AND...your not a big deal IS a big deal to some. Just face the fact that you will never be privy to everyone's personal private motives.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 9:10:35 AM)
quote: Too hot. 88°F or 32°C... and yet, for some, it would be PERFECT weather. quote: Yeah, there are many, many, many good and gorgeous girls... and yet, for some, there would be precious few of what they considered to be "good and gorgeous girls"...if any. see how the subjective thing works out? just extrapolate that out to the many and varied interests/attractions/states of being that folks have and you might get a clue as to how obtuse your ideas are concerning things folks will or won't do under the umbrella of "Master" or "slave".

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 9:12:33 AM)
I have a very short list of nevers.... for example, EYE SUTURING. Just won't go there. I don't want to even RISK an ooops with someone's vision. As for the rest, my list of yes/no/maybe has changed over the last twenty years. The last twenty years of ACTUALLY DOING THINGS. For instance, next weekend at a hook pull, I will be sewing bells and limes onto people. Unimaginable twenty years ago. Now, just COOL.

DesFIP -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 9:47:42 AM)
You don't get to set someone else's limits. You do get to ask why but you don't get to rule if it's acceptable. I won't ever switch, and I mean ever. If I were forced to inflict pain on someone else, even though they enjoyed it, it would be a violation of my moral stance. I don't hurt people deliberately, ever. You know folks, when I was looking I had listed under hard limits no duct tape gags. The sheer thought of one can induce a panic attack. You would be surprised by the number of men who wrote me saying the first thing they would do would be just that. They got blocked immediately. Telling me your first action is to violate a hard limit tells me you're untrustworthy. The Man said he was curious as all get out and why just that, as opposed to all gags. But agreed it wasn't a big thing for him so wasn't a problem with our compatibility. If it was his favorite activity, then he wouldn't have contacted me. Oh and eight years later? It's still a hard limit. He still thinks it's silly but he isn't going to cause me to have a panic attack just to prove he's domlier than thou. Because it's no big thing to you doesn't mean it's no big thing to others. Some people get filled with rage when pain is inflicted on them, others get claustrophobic when restrained, huge amounts of people associate tickling with childhood abuse. The fact that the op can't see beyond his own narrow experience says he isn't fit to have power over others.

allthatjaz -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 10:13:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus For instance, next weekend at a hook pull, I will be sewing bells and limes onto people. Unimaginable twenty years ago. Now, just COOL. Ooh that's a coincidence because I'm doing a hook pull next weekend too. Ill show you my pics if you show me yours [:D]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 10:13:56 AM)
Supercool~!! I am having the limes this time! With jingle bells attached. :)

allthatjaz -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 10:17:08 AM)
I used to say I would never switch......... I did and with the same guy I dominated I still say that I would never let a woman dominate me and I still stand by that. The reason I stand by it is because the thought of a woman dominating me turns me off but then I used to be turned off by the thought of switching or submitting. Who knows what the future will bring. Who cares so long as we are enjoying ourselves.

leadership527 -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 10:25:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP You don't get to set someone else's limits. You do get to ask why but you don't get to rule if it's acceptable. Who You? Me? I'm afraid that it's Carol who gets to decide this, not you Des.

Jeffff -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 10:26:16 AM)
I think that was too SN Jeff, not you

Kana -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 10:26:18 AM)
Never is a word I don't think humans should use-it's just to long a time for us. That said, you'll catch me subbing when Hell freezes over and even then, I just don't see it in me. I got no give when it comes to things like that. It's simply not who or what I am.

LadySilver0523 -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 10:29:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear T answer you question SNot, you need to live with and among people and really try to understand them for there is no one answer to your questions, there are as many answer as there are people. Honestly old chap, you urgently need to shut down your computer for a year and a day and go get field experience from real live flesh and blood human beings. Mmm... Once again IronBear, I'm reminded how much I love you! <3 :D hugs him and smiles as she sits by his side, her head rested on his thigh [:)]

thishereboi -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 10:34:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot OK peppermint, my hard limit are strawberries - I am allergic to them. I understand that there are some unusual hard limits. I'm asking about some things that are objectively not a very big deal, yet quite a lot of people say they would never do them. Why ? - I don't know!!! That's why I started the thread ! Simple answer..because they don't want to. Why do you care so much? If you would stop trying to analyze everything to death and quit trying to make everything black and white, maybe you would have a shot at meeting someone and actually living the life. There is no one size fits all and there is no one reason that everyone wants to do something. You have already admitted that all of your knowledge comes from the internet, maybe it is time to turn off the computer and go out into the real world.

SocratesNot -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 10:49:06 AM)
quote: Original: DesFIP If I were forced to inflict pain on someone else, even though they enjoyed it, it would be a violation of my moral stance. I don't hurt people deliberately, ever. Now, please explain this to me. You think that hurting people deliberately even if they enjoy it is unethical. If you think that it is unethical in your case, this must also be unethical in anyone else's case, because under one single ethical system (your, in this case) - everyone is judged by the same standard. So by your own ethical system - it is unethical to hurt other people deliberately. Do you realize that you are constantly in relationships with people who have completely different ethical system than your own? Do you realize that you think that your partners are immoral? Do you realize that you are submitting to immoral people (by your own definition)? Almost everyone would say that they would never ever submit to someone that they think is unethical! You seem to be an exception! There are only 2 possible solutions to this problem: A) You really think that your partners are unethical because they hurt other people deliberately, however, for you it is acceptable to be in a relationship with unethical people. B) You use different ethical standards for different people. So if YOU hurt someone deliberately - this is unethical. And if YOUR PARTNER hurts you deliberately, this is not unethical. Using different ethical systems for different people shows that you think that some people are inherently more worthy and have more dignity than others. Either Masters have the right to hurt ANYONE (because they are more worthy), or it is acceptable to hurt SLAVES but not others (because slaves are less worthy). Try to demant me. I would really like it. Your strong rebuttal would actually give me the hope that I am wrong. I would LOVE if I was wrong on this issue.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 11:00:47 AM)
quote: ...You don't get to set someone else's limits... Sorry DesFIP, but like most generalizations, that's inaccurate...at least as it applies to the M/s relationship this slave is a part of. like everything else Socnot has asked about on these boards lately, there are no absolutes that apply to everyone participating in an intimate relationship, it depends SOLELY on the folks involved and the relationship they have crafted. your statement works when applied to this slave, because she doesn't limit Master by telling Him what He can and cannot do...but it's utter bullshit when being applied to Him because He DOES set the limits in this relationship...He DOES decide if it is worth it or not to send this slave into a panic attack, extreme agitation or a round of nausea/vomiting over something He has decided she must do or watch or ingest, and this slave obeys Him and lives with the consequences/results of His decisions. this slave had two choices when presented with all of that information up front before becoming His slave~engage in an intimate M/s relationship with Him, one where He calls ALL the shots...or get on down the road.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 11:02:04 AM)
You're an amazing person, beth, and thank goodness Merc knows how lucky he is to have found you!

leadership527 -> RE: Never ever. Ever!!! (6/14/2010 11:03:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff I think that was too SN Jeff, not you Actually, as I read the sentence, it was a general declarative saying "NOBODY gets to set someone else's limits". I counted myself as a part of anyone and I'm not agreeing to give Des that authority. I frequently personalize it when people make generally declarative statements like that. I don't want to counter in kind.. I always get in trouble when I do. So instead, I personalize it to myself and Carol.

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