RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 8:55:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: champagnewishes I'm packing up to move and i keep taping my hand to the box. As a result, i spend the rest of the day having to carry the box around. It's really slowing me down. What should i do? Get your self a wagon. Set the box in the wagon. That way, there will be wheels under the box so it won't slow you down as you move around. As an added benefit, you'll receive all kinds of attention that you normally wouldn't get. This neighbor keeps walking his dog and not cleaning up the "souvenirs." Several of us have tried to talk to him, but he glares at us and walks off. Any advice on how to handle him?

MyCaptainsPet -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 9:29:40 AM)
Pick up the doggy gifts and do one of two things... put them in a bag, light it on fire on his front steps and ring his bell... OR make a nice hearty soup out of it for the neighbor. My fridge keeps freazing things, what should i do?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 10:27:15 AM)
quote: My fridge keeps freazing things, what should i do? You can do one of two things. Either get some wood together and light it on fire inside the freezer to regulate the temperature or you can unplug it. That should solve the problem. I need to clean my oven and I really hate that job. Is there an easy way to do this?

maybemaybenot -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 11:10:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I need to clean my oven and I really hate that job. Is there an easy way to do this? Yep, there sure is. Take your stove outside and set it on the drive way or any flat surface and use a power washer. I have a water stain mark on my coffee table, how do I remove it ? mbmbn

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 11:18:32 AM)
Take out the blow torch and make a burn mark next to it. Next to that spill some red wine and leave it for a month. Lemon juice should work nicely next to that. Continue with various substances until the table is evenly marred. Call it your "art" and make it a conversation piece. My freezer is leaking water into my fridge. Any suggestions? (P.S.- My laptop buttons fixed themselves this morning. Weird. I woke up and they worked again.)

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 11:40:52 AM)
Personally, if this were me, I would turn down the fridge temp, put an ice cube tray underneath the leak, and have Martinis for dinner. I put things in the oven, then when I take them out, I burn my hands! How can I prevent this? Yours, benji

maybemaybenot -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 12:08:27 PM)
before taking the food out, turn the oven off, open oven door, put a fan facing inward towards the food, set it on high for 1/2 hour and then remove food. Is there anything besides nail polish remover I can use to get the nail polish off my nails? mbmbn

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 12:10:45 PM)
For me, Hydrochloric Acid always worked wonders! Solves the question of how to reapply it, too! My watch stopped. How do I fix it? Yours, benji

murmur -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 12:30:54 PM)
Change batteries. You dont know how to do it? Then, use the left button to your up. If it doesnt work, press the button under it at the same time. If it doesnt work, try the button to your left. No? Press the button above it at the same time. Try using the 4 buttons at the same time. Do the same process again until you lose patience and smash it against the wall. Laugh at yourself for not having looked at the instructions. And go buy yourself another watch. What do i do to stop my dog from pooing all around the house?

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 12:40:34 PM)
Live on the street. I spent all of my money on a new watch. How can I get more? Yours, benji

feylin -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 1:00:43 PM)
Sell your old watch on Ebay. List the condition as "like new," make the reserve low, make the shipping and handling charges add up to twice the amount you paid for your new watch. How can I get my car to stop leaking oil?

FullCircle -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 1:11:53 PM)
Remove all the oil and run the engine dry. My toilet is blocked with a crocodile what should I do?

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 1:16:05 PM)
Don't worry about it! Take the croc out and put him in your bed... I hear they're actually nature's teddy bears! My windows are dirty and I live on the 25th floor. How do I clean them? Yours, benji

Wulfchyld -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 1:32:08 PM)
Wrap the doorman in paper towels, dip him in windex, tie a rope around his waist and push him from the roof. Vigorously swing him back and forth. Ta da! Clean windows. Diesel is cheaper than gas now, can I use it instead?

gooddogbenji -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 1:36:00 PM)
Yeah, of course! Question is, how are you gonna get the diesel inside you in the first place? Sorry, couldn't resist the toilet humour..... People avoid me because I don't believe in showering. It angers the Gods of the Sacred Waters. What can I do? Yours, benji

Wulfchyld -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 1:38:19 PM)
Strip naked and cover yourself in honey. Lay between several red ant hills. You will be sparkling clean. I find it hard to retrieve silver wear from the disposal, what is the best approach?

wannawrapmylips -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 2:00:44 PM)
Well, rust never sleeps, so i would put a load of sleeping tablets in the toilet, rust will fall asleep and therefore have to cease to exist. I need advice. How do i get my dog to stop barking at the neighbors?

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 5:17:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wannawrapmylips I need advice. How do i get my dog to stop barking at the neighbors? Well, I'd hire an arsonist to burn their house down when they're not home. That'll force them to move. Then the dog will stop barking because he'll have no one to bark at. I have this nosey neighbor who is always spying on me from behind her curtains. Now I heard that she is spreading rumors about me because she's seen me with my new boyfriend, who is only 18. I know she's just jealous. Any advice on handling her?

feylin -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 5:33:04 PM)
quote: I find it hard to retrieve silver wear from the disposal, what is the best approach? I take all my hand washables down to the river and beat them against a rock. Kenmore has nothing on river rocks. Duke, the flaming rottweiler, refuses to stop trying to mount Nightmare, the male cat -- even with company present. How do I explain this behavior to guests? (FYI: the cat seems okay with the foreplay but never antes up when push comes to shove)

feylin -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (4/15/2006 5:40:39 PM)
quote: I have this nosey neighbor who is always spying on me from behind her curtains. Now I heard that she is spreading rumors about me because she's seen me with my new boyfriend, who is only 18. I know she's just jealous. Any advice on handling her? Fulfill as many of those rumors as possible and stop making your neighbor a liar....its just not friendly. Show your friendly side and she'll come around. She could be doing herself blind behind those curtains and what kind of neighbor does that make you! Be nice to her while she can still see it. same question: Duke, the flaming rottweiler, refuses to stop trying to mount Nightmare, the male cat -- even with company present. How do I explain this behavior to guests? (FYI: the cat seems okay with the foreplay but never antes up when push comes to shove)

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