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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/23/2008 2:14:20 PM   
JoyfulMistress


Posts: 628
Joined: 10/31/2007
Status: offline 		step outside naked....stroll down the street ... you will be picked up before you know it and have a date in the near future with some nice people most of which holding government jobs ... hey that can't be too bad!!

 
I forgot how to make hot cocoa...help

(in reply to MadameMarque)
Profile   Post #: 5021
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/23/2008 6:48:24 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		pick me up at 1030...im easy...

my mailman thinks im going to have sex with him...again. How do i get him off my case?

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to MadameMarque)
Profile   Post #: 5022
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/23/2008 9:39:24 PM   
stormgirl


Posts: 294
Joined: 1/17/2007
From: tennessee
Status: offline 		Get some catalogs for Nazi and animal porn mailed to you - without the plain brown wrappers.

My mailman likes Nazi animal porn - how can I seduce him?


_____________________________

pride and elan

If you start your day with a fresh cup of crazy and some arrogance on the side, good job!
indecent yet sorta cool


(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 5023
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/24/2008 5:19:23 PM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		Show up at the door wearing nothing but a german shepard costume.

My toothpaste isn't making my teeth any whiter like it claims it will, what should I use instead?

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to stormgirl)
Profile   Post #: 5024
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/24/2008 5:25:19 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		bleach pen....you can keep it in your pocket and use it thruout the day...

i locked myself in the bathroom and am posting this from my phone...how can i get out of here?

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to shivermetimbers)
Profile   Post #: 5025
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/24/2008 6:38:25 PM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		Call 911 and tell them you are about to drown yourself in the toilet.

I'm feeling really lazy and don't want to cook right now, I don't have money to order out, what should I do?

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 5026
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/24/2008 7:32:06 PM   
GoodFeathers


Posts: 202
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		Grab a bag and "forage" in your neighbor's houses for food.  If they ask questions, tell them that you are getting back to your hunter/gatherer roots.  If this fails, you will be placed in a small room where you will be guaranteed at least two meals a day, free of charge.

My neighbors aren't buying my "hunter/gatherer" routine, what should I do to convince them?


_____________________________

"The more I learn, the more I realize I haven't learned enough."

(in reply to shivermetimbers)
Profile   Post #: 5027
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/24/2008 7:41:19 PM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		Wave a pistol in front of their face, they'll believe you're a hunter than.

I need a new lamp, but I'm afraid my dead grandmother would haunt me if I got rid of her old one, what can I do to have a nice lamp and no dead grandmother haunting me?

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to GoodFeathers)
Profile   Post #: 5028
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/25/2008 10:18:38 AM   
GoodFeathers


Posts: 202
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		Who says you have to get rid of it?  Take it apart and reallocate the pieces to new things.  The central shaft could be a nice towel rack.  The shade might make a lovely fruit bowl that grandma would approve of!  If you do want to get rid of it, do it piece by piece over the course of twenty years, she'll never notice. 

I see dead people.  What should I do?


_____________________________

"The more I learn, the more I realize I haven't learned enough."

(in reply to shivermetimbers)
Profile   Post #: 5029
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/25/2008 11:04:55 AM   
Araven


Posts: 149
Joined: 3/16/2006
Status: offline 		Make sure absolutely not to help them with their problems. If the ghosts are asking for advise, to help their loved ones.. or whatever it is. You must make sure not to help them, otherwise they might pass on and be free of haunting people! We wouldnt want that at all. We don't want a creepy ghost guy like Patrick Swayzee(however you spell it) trying to move objects around us.

So.. I don't really want to get around to doing my chores today, how should i get out of doing them.

(in reply to GoodFeathers)
Profile   Post #: 5030
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/25/2008 11:21:14 AM   
sappatoti


Posts: 14844
Joined: 10/30/2006
From: the edge of darkness...
Status: offline
Become a ghost.

It's raining in the backyard but the front is in full sun. Should I move?


_____________________________

Never mind the man on the edge of the darkness... he means no harm...

"Community, Identity, Stability." ~ A Brave New World, Aldous Huxley, 1932

If you don't like my attitude, QUIT TALKING TO ME!

(in reply to Araven)
Profile   Post #: 5031
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/25/2008 4:46:28 PM   
GoodFeathers


Posts: 202
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		No, just turn around.  If you want it to be sunny, face that way and believe it's sunny everywhere.  Eventually, the rain will listen to your innermost thoughts and stop making things all wet.

I will be moving tomorrow, but I have no boxes. 





_____________________________

"The more I learn, the more I realize I haven't learned enough."

(in reply to sappatoti)
Profile   Post #: 5032
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2008 11:54:01 AM   
wulfgarw


Posts: 752
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline 		Just gather enough friends to form a 'conveyor line' to hand every item from one person to the next...

I'm having transmission problems on my car.


_____________________________

"Alone I Walk
Broken I Stand
Betrayed I Fight
Forgotten I Fall"

(in reply to GoodFeathers)
Profile   Post #: 5033
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2008 1:20:51 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wulfgarw

Just gather enough friends to form a 'conveyor line' to hand every item from one person to the next...

I'm having transmission problems on my car.


preform the "radio repair". The worse the noise...the louder the tunes.

I am cooking most of the dinner tomorrow. Any helpful advice?


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to wulfgarw)
Profile   Post #: 5034
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2008 1:40:02 PM   
sappatoti


Posts: 14844
Joined: 10/30/2006
From: the edge of darkness...
Status: offline
Just one word... Nomex.

I have five rechargeable batteries of the 18-volt variety but only three chargers. I need all five to be charged at the same time. How can I do this?


_____________________________

Never mind the man on the edge of the darkness... he means no harm...

"Community, Identity, Stability." ~ A Brave New World, Aldous Huxley, 1932

If you don't like my attitude, QUIT TALKING TO ME!

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 5035
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2008 1:41:29 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sappatoti


Just one word... Nomex.




smart ass


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to sappatoti)
Profile   Post #: 5036
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2008 1:47:25 PM   
mystickoolaid


Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline 		Put three of them in the chargers, one in your car for the alternator to charge, and go borrow the neighbor's car for the last one. They'll understand and appreciate your ingenuity.


How do I open my soup with no can opener?


(in reply to sappatoti)
Profile   Post #: 5037
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2008 3:32:21 PM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		Just put a sterno lighter under it, eventually it will open.

I'm thinking of making a pot roast, what ingredients should I add?

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to mystickoolaid)
Profile   Post #: 5038
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/26/2008 8:30:04 PM   
GoodFeathers


Posts: 202
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shivermetimbers

Just put a sterno lighter under it, eventually it will open.

I'm thinking of making a pot roast, what ingredients should I add?


Pot of course!  Everyone will be happier and the after dinner discussion will most likely be a blast.  Plus, no leftovers to clean up!

My back hurts, but I'm out of aleve, what should I do?




_____________________________

"The more I learn, the more I realize I haven't learned enough."

(in reply to shivermetimbers)
Profile   Post #: 5039
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 1:10:53 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline 		 


Pop a pair of nipple clamps on - making sure they grip just the tips of your nipples; your mind will move away from thoughts of your back remarkably quickly. Better still ask your neighbour to help and put the clamps on for you.


I have too many acceptances for my "come and stay" invites.

(in reply to GoodFeathers)
Profile   Post #: 5040
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