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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 1:25:34 AM

hlen5

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Then perhaps you should move??

How do I survive a holiday with family all around??

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 1:41:20 AM

lilywishes4

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According to tsatske: insert pornographic lymerick!

Here is my question, my sister is going to marry a man that is obviously gay. How do I tell her with out hurting her feelings?

< Message edited by lilywishes4 -- 11/27/2008 1:57:24 AM >

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 1:46:49 AM

tsatske

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secretly video tape you trying to seduce him, even getting naked. If he says no, you can use it to prove to her that he is gay.
OTOH, if that does not work out, you can still use the vid to keep her from marrying him. It's win-win. for you, I mean.

My sons won't produce grandchildren for me. I can't seem to convince them that that was the purpose for their existance in the first place. Can I return them as defective, 25 years after aquiring them?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 1:47:35 AM

lilywishes4

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*sigh* ok, blonder than even I thought.....family holidays are best survived by drugging the drinks, when everyone is asleep it makes for a much more peaceful holiday...

new question: how does one delete a dizzy post?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 1:49:27 AM

tsatske

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Hit edit, highlight the whole post, replace the text with a pornographic lymerick.

It's thre a.m. and if Master catches me up i'm ln for it. should I sneak back to bed? What should I say if He gets up and catches me up? good excuses for being up at 3 am? anyone?

< Message edited by tsatske -- 11/27/2008 1:50:43 AM >

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 1:51:02 AM

lilywishes4

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I'm a wealth of knowledge today, you take them back to the hospital they were born in with a copy of the birth cert and demand that take them back...and a refund for your medical bills....

What is the best way to add a new room to my house?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 1:53:50 AM

lilywishes4

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ooooh, fun and easy.... Tell your Master that you simply turning tricks to pay for all the shoes you bought last month on credit.

Any good recipies for cranberries??

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 4:41:04 AM

MadameMarque

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Don't be silly! Cranberries can't cook!

I have a family member with whom I usually end up arguing. How can I enjoy their company, over the holidays?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 8:05:16 AM

tsatske

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Did you bring along a gag?
I am going to see my family this weekend. I have a sister who only thinks she's vanilla. She is single, and I know the perfect Dom for her. Srrsly. I had him write her, but she was 'scared away' by his email nick. (Domlydomone, painonyourbum, youwillobeyme, tieupthegirl, whatever). how can I get her to get over her silly ass objections and see the light?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 8:06:13 AM

stella41b

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Convert them to Zen Buddhism.

I have some stubborn stains on my kitchen floor. What should I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 8:16:19 AM

wulfgarw

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Everyone knows fire is the best stain remover in the universe. Soak it in acetone (nail polish remover) and light it!

My friends object to me carrying my sidearm. What do I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 8:27:25 AM

tsatske

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Tuck it in the FRONT of your pants.

My mother-in-law thinks I'm a slut, and I haven't even sent her email from that edress (the one where my name is slut...). What should I do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 8:40:45 AM

wulfgarw

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Go to her house and show off your brand new chastity belt and tell her you converted to catholistism... and then make out with a smokin hot redhead...

What is the best camera for SCUBA diving?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 8:43:06 AM

tsatske

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a fully electric one, because batteries just aren't dependable under water. You can hook several extension cords back to back - you can get those at the everything's a dollar store - up to the boat.

will it hurt my enjoyment of scubba diving photography that I can't swim a lick?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 8:47:16 AM

wulfgarw

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Not if you wear Doc Martens 'new and improved' lead lined concrete shoes!

How do I rig the next $300 million powerball so that I, and I alone win it?

< Message edited by wulfgarw -- 11/27/2008 8:49:11 AM >

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 8:54:38 AM

ThatDaveGuy69

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That's easy: buy a whole bunch of lottery ticket machines and have them print out every combination of numbers! Not only will you win the big prize, but all the smaller ones, too!

How can I keep Thing 1 & Thing 2 from making all that noise in the morning?

~Dave

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 9:01:23 AM

wulfgarw

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Two words my friend... Duct. Tape.

I want to own my own aircraft. Any suggestions?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 12:31:01 PM

kiwisub12

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See above suggestion for winning the power ball - and since you will be uber rich , don't worry about flying lessons. The uber rich can do anything!!!!

How do i stop my african grey parrot from biting my Sirs toes - with out harming her?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/27/2008 12:59:14 PM

hlen5

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Cut off your Sir's toes.

How can i get my yard raked up without doing it myself??

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/28/2008 8:26:14 PM

tsatske

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Buy a goat.
While you are at it - did you know goats make sheep herding easier? may as well buy some sheep, too.
but then you are gonna need a sheep dog.
Maybe some chickens.
Maybe you should just build an Ark.

A week ago my toe was purple, and I was in the hospital, but my toe is toe colored now. Is it okay for me to wear heels to Thanksgiving tommorrow? (yes, my family celebrates all our Hilidays off-day. it makes life alot easier if you don't have to compete with machetenum)

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