RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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fluffypet61 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 2:52:43 PM)

Go naked.
 
(anybody else think i am stuck in a rut???)



sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 4:15:51 PM)

I'm thinkin' that perhaps, dear fluffy, the cure for your single-tracked mind in all this is for you to go fully naked yourself... and post some pictorial proof.

Let's see... the parakeet was only stunned... the dog is currently sleeping... the coffee no longer exists... the slave came, did her "thing", and has returned to her place... and I'm feeling the need to get out of the recliner. How do I cope with all of this peacefulness?



BKSir -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 4:22:20 PM)

Two words:  "POLKA PARTY!"

I don't want to cook dinner tonight, but I have this chicken in the fridge that needs used.  Any advice?



hejira92 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 4:28:19 PM)

edited to say I'm answering sappatoti:


You should first nail the 'keet to it's perch- using a nail gun so you don't have to leave the recliner. The noise will wake the dog, who will then insist on being walked- but, as your butt is frozen in the chair, will settle for going on the carpet. This will raise your temper- causing you to finally get up from the chair.  All the peacefulness should end when you fall on your face because your legs are asleep and the paramedics have to break in the front door to treat you. Simple, really.

and now BKSir:

Throw the chicken out on the sidewalk. If your sidewalk is like mine (south florida) it will be done in no time!

How can I get my piano tuned without spending a fortune?



pissthirstysub -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 5:05:07 PM)

I'll do it (you just twist some things around, right)
I need to feed the animals but don't want to.



sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 6:10:17 PM)

Then, don't. If they've watched you prepare their meals often enough, they know where the food is stored. Animals are pretty resourceful; they'll get that cabinet or cupboard open after a while (though, you might have to replace the claw-scratched doors).

One of the tires on my car has a slow leak and I'm too cheap-assed to have it professionally repaired. How can I fix this myself?



pissthirstysub -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 6:14:38 PM)

Use doughnuts, so sweet and yummy anyway
My pet spiders have found where I keep the food, they clawed the doors, I'm scared.



sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 6:23:24 PM)

Leave your home to the spiders for a while and come visit me. I'll ease your fears (or possibly, make you so much more scared that whatever it is your spiders did will seem downright cuddly).

My digital television converter doesn't work very well with the indoor "rabbit ears" antenna yet I'm too cheap-assed to spring for an outdoor antenna or cable/satellite services. Any ideas on how I can improve my reception?



CrazyCats -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 6:30:46 PM)

(EDIT: Hmm I was late... got distracted.)

For the antenna problem, try watching your TV outside, and have sub hold the ear's for you. You can even glue them to her head just like real rabbit ears!

Say, I have this nasty ass sunburn, anyone know a good way to get rid of it in time for a wedding in two weeks? (yes, totally true statement, went to the beach Saturday, and we are still as red as my subbie's come-do-me-shoes!)



hejira92 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 6:35:37 PM)

Go lay in the sun some more, until all the red skin is burned off.

What should I do if my boss wants me to teach 9th graders again next year?




pissthirstysub -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 6:37:36 PM)

Sappa- place your television on the roof, it will get better reception that way, get a ladder to watch it
CrazyCats- Paint yourself green.
I want to see more stars but can't afford a telescope.



sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 6:42:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92
...
What should I do if my boss wants me to teach 9th graders again next year?




quote:

ORIGINAL: pissthirstysub
...
I want to see more stars but can't afford a telescope.


Ladies, I've got some advice you're both going to love. Hejira can tell her bosses that she's got the perfect teacher for the 9th grade students, which would be PTS... who would then have access to a nice telescope to view the night sky with. :-)

The damn TV slid off the roof and smashed into unrepairable pieces. Now how do I go about putting my brain cells (those few that are still working) into a zombified stupor?



intenze -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 6:48:58 PM)

drink 22 tarantulas.

How do I get rid of this unsightly rash?



DarkSteven -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 7:09:30 PM)

Screw the rash.  Give everyone blindfolds and they won't be able to see it.

I have a disciplinary session scheduled and would rather watch TV or surf.  How do I shirk responsibility?



fluffypet61 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 7:20:20 PM)

(go naked?)

That breakdown i was planning on having later just caught up with me.  What do i do now?



hejira92 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 7:52:29 PM)

Take off all your clothes and dance outside by the light of the moon.


I hate long hair on men, yet Master is growing His out, how should I deal with this?



Daddysredhead -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 7:55:22 PM)

Put his hair up in pin curls.  He'll look adorable, and you'll have the short 'do you prefer to see on him.  [:D]

I'm trying to figure out of I want to go to sleep or read a book.  What should I do?



hejira92 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 7:59:34 PM)

Oh, definitely find a really good book to read. That way, you'll stay up all night and won't have to worry about sleep at all!


Since I can't go to your party, how can I console myself?



Daddysredhead -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 8:04:46 PM)

Web cam... those of us here in the DC area can all watch... on a big screen... and pine for you from afar.  [:)]

OK, I've been up all night, and my book is read.  Now I'm tired, but more learned.  What do I do next?



DarkSteven -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 8:20:41 PM)

Now that you've finished your book, there's nothing stopping you from dropping everything and moving to Colorado to be mine.

I've got a bunch of bulbs I need to plant in my rock garden.  What to do?



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