RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Daddysredhead -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 8:26:49 PM)

*giggles*

Now, Steven... everyone knows that "bulbs"  [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m8.gif[/image]  and rocks don't mix, they break!  [;)]  [:D] 

I'm at the airport, waiting for my plane to Colorado, and realize DB might not like this journey I'm embarking on.  How do I tell Him?



BKSir -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 8:27:23 PM)

EDIT:  Because red is too fast.
Blunderbuss.  Just hand him one and security will take care of things so DB won't even have to get on the plane.

I'm bored and need a hobby, any ideas?



DeViLiVeD -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 8:59:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

I'm bored and need a hobby, any ideas?


Try collarme.com... I heard its nice.

Fastest way to drown?



DemonKia -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 11:38:45 PM)

Um, turn shower on, lay in shower such that water is spraying on face, hold mouth open. Breathe in water.

I'd like to keep a mountain lion as a pet, how should I go about doing that?



LadyPact -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 11:42:11 PM)

First, get yourself a good supply of latex gloves, cause you're going to be picking up a lot of poo.  Then, take said mountain lion to the office of permits and registrations.  Allow mountain lion to eat the clerk behind the counter.  No forms to fill out.  Take the new pet home and wait for the aforementioned poo of digested said office clerk.


What can I do to stop Myself from counting down the hours until MP arrives?



BadJezebel -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 11:47:47 PM)

count the minutes

how do I get rid of all the fantasizing posers?



MadAxeman -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 11:48:33 PM)

Crochet a quilt from a permits and registrations clerk to while the time away.

I have a right handed can opener and have bought a bunch of left handed cans, what shall I do?



sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/4/2009 11:59:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BadJezebel
...
how do I get rid of all the fantasizing posers?


Give in to their fantasies and provide them what they're looking for. If they're twue posers, they won't be able to handle their fantasies becoming reality, and they'll run away scared for the rest of their lives.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadAxeman
...
I have a right handed can opener and have bought a bunch of left handed cans, what shall I do?


Open the cans from the bottom. If that still doesn't work, shoot them.


It's 3 AM Eastern time and I should be in bed dreaming of good things. Instead, I'm prowling through this place. What can I do to increase the return on my investments?




LadyPact -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2009 12:11:18 AM)

Be named in your stock brokers will and then shoot him.  (Unless you happen to have McDonald's or Wal-Mart stock.)

There are too many things buzzing through My mind to sleep.  What can I do?



sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2009 12:17:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
...
There are too many things buzzing through My mind to sleep.  What can I do?



You could try to envision all those buzzy things as being submissives who need to be taught to obey. If that doesn't work, I find that dropping something heavy on one's foot (by accident) tends to quiet the little annoyances.

I think I'm finally starting to fall asleep. How would I go about



MadAxeman -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2009 12:24:22 AM)

Underwater

My chicken has stopped giving milk, is there no cure?



DemonKia -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2009 1:32:56 AM)

Try breeding it with a goose to get the milk going again . ... .

I want aliens to abduct me, what should I do?



MadAxeman -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2009 3:19:14 AM)

Move to redneck country and bend over

I've just eaten curried kippers, when is it safe to have sex again?



sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2009 6:54:30 AM)

There's always sex during a mud bath or sex during a jello-wrestling match. Perhaps in those situations, no one would notice?

I'm starved yet unexcited by the usual breakfast choices. Any suggestions?



MadAxeman -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2009 7:01:07 AM)

Curried kippers have kept me on edge for some hours.

When I turn the lights on my internet connection slows down.
Should I get a puppy?



LadyPact -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2009 10:03:50 AM)

Only if you plan on hooking the puppy up to a treadmill that generates power.  Light some candles, for pete's sake.  The internet connection must survive!

I have absolutely no energy to go clean My bathroom.  Any advise?


Edited because the word is "plan" not "play."  Somehow those two words, puppy and play, just seem to want to type themselves up together.



pissthirstysub -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2009 10:12:20 AM)

Ask MP to do it.
I have to pay bills with no money.



sappatoti -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2009 10:32:46 AM)

Start and keep a blog going and put a PayPal "tip jar" on it for those who wish to donate. Strictly in the name of entertainment, of course.

An annoying little bug of a person is rearing its bug-like head after fifteen years, and I have flat run out of ideas/insults to hurl so this person simply goes away forever. Any ideas?



DemonKia -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2009 12:14:26 PM)

Love them. Embrace them. Coddle them. Take care of them like they were your own special lil ones . . .. . . Pull them to your eager, heaving bosom.

I need a better attitude, what should I do?




fluffypet61 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/5/2009 12:22:02 PM)

go naked.
 
i went to the store today and bought more than i can fit in my freezer.  i can get all the frozen dinners into it, but there is no room for the steak.  What do i do?
 
 



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