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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/30/2006 9:30:54 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		I'm not the consultant how should I know?

I have a bunch of hair leftover though from that failed plan, what should I do about it and does rogain work on dogs they are still pissed at me.

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 901
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/30/2006 9:34:15 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have a bunch of hair leftover though from that failed plan, what should I do about it and does rogain work on dogs they are still pissed at me.


HELLO?! Krazy Glue. ***mumbles***


I am thinking of hiring a hitman. Got any ideas on how to find a reliable one?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 902
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/30/2006 9:36:53 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		sure as part of the hiring process hire them to kill you, any that don't get the job done don't hire them cause they aren't very good.

I am all out of superglue cause I lent it to some guy to glue a needle to his mirror and besides I have enough hair grown in anyway.  Any other ideas not involving glue or putting it back onto me?

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 903
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/30/2006 9:40:34 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I am all out of superglue cause I lent it to some guy to glue a needle to his mirror and besides I have enough hair grown in anyway.  Any other ideas not involving glue or putting it back onto me?


Weave it into an Oriental Rug.


I am getting DSL finally and I need some advice for a firewall for my computer. What should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 904
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/30/2006 9:42:15 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		build a wall around your computer and set it on fire

I need a place for my new rug where should I put it

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 905
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/30/2006 9:48:42 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I need a place for my new rug where should I put it


On your naked dogs.


I should go to bed but I might be having too much fun on here. What should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 906
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/30/2006 9:52:09 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		stay up anyway, who needs sleep just deal with it like a man

my dogs looked so sexy in those rugs they got three neighborhood dogs pregnant and now their owners are bitching at me to cover half the costs of the vet, what should I do?

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 907
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/30/2006 9:56:09 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

my dogs looked so sexy in those rugs they got three neighborhood dogs pregnant and now their owners are bitching at me to cover half the costs of the vet, what should I do?


Lurk around his house at night naked so he thinks that Bigfoot is stalking him. Then tell him that you control Bigfoot and that the only way to get him to stop is to let you off the hook for the vet bill.


I have way too many plastic shopping bags in my house. Isn't there something creative I can do with them?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 908
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/30/2006 9:59:07 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		melt then down and then mold them into the shape of a penis as a gift to your girlfriend

I tried it but aparently he was scared of bigfoot and shot me in the ass now what am I to do, I have a vet bill and a hospital bill

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 909
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/30/2006 10:02:54 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I tried it but aparently he was scared of bigfoot and shot me in the ass now what am I to do, I have a vet bill and a hospital bill


I got it! Sell the blood from the wound on eBay as authentic Bigfoot blood. And for $20 more you will send them Bigfoot hair that was ripped off by your now, naked dogs.

I really think that career consulting is for me. What should I do now? I have gotten through my first big corporate promotion.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 910
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/30/2006 10:06:30 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		now you should take some of that money from the promotion and get classes cause your consulting abilities suck, all the blood is on the ground and when I went back for it the bastard shot me agian

Now I have yet another gunshot and it is effecting my budding movie career what do I do

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 911
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 12:41:53 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Now I have yet another gunshot and it is effecting my budding movie career what do I do

Easy: Specialize in snuff films.

Problem: A person gets to star only once in a snuff film. Is there an Oscar for necrophilia?

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 912
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 1:22:55 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

quote:

Now I have yet another gunshot and it is effecting my budding movie career what do I do

Easy: Specialize in snuff films.

Problem: A person gets to star only once in a snuff film. Is there an Oscar for necrophilia?



I recommend that they contact Roman Polanski

Just had a helicopter drop me off on a steep, fresh powder slope in the back country. After the helicopter leaves I notice after looking through my monocular there are open crevices everywhere down the side of the slope. Should I ski or walk - I have no snow shoes or crampons?


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 913
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 7:25:38 AM   
VandalHeart


Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline 		I say handstand all the way down the mountain.  It'll at least set a new world record.

My ex-wife keeps flipflopping on whether or not she wants to give me another chance.  Every time she talks to me it's either a long list of what I need to do (basically, Me = Sissifus), or it the declaration of I have run out of chances.  What should I do about this ulcer?

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 914
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 10:03:24 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Call Angus Wells because he does dirty deeps cheaply.

My parents are wanting to meet my daughter and her mother.  How can I keep this from turning into a fiasco short of hiding in tree by the river?


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to VandalHeart)
Profile   Post #: 915
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 10:09:00 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My parents are wanting to meet my daughter and her mother.  How can I keep this from turning into a fiasco short of hiding in tree by the river?


This is easy. Nothing says 'accept me' better than firearms and drugs. You get the idea.


I have lost all of my ambition to do anything today but I have stuff to do. How can I motivate myself?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 916
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 10:10:43 AM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		go to the zoo and release a pack of hungry wolves, this will get you running and motivated to do what you need to do

I broke my toe whats the best way to fix it

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 917
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 10:11:31 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Don't tell them where you hid the bodies.

What does one give a tattoo covered leather biker dude for Fathers Day?

~Lashra

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 918
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 10:21:02 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I broke my toe whats the best way to fix it


Cut it off. Then begin amphibian DNA injections in the hope that you will be able to regrow your toe.

quote:

What does one give a tattoo covered leather biker dude for Fathers Day?


Get him the book Knitting For Dummies.


I am going on a short vacation to the Jersey shore next month. What should I plan to do if it rains?


_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 919
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 10:25:23 AM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		Get a ritas strawberry banana or chocolat and mint custard (ok, not badadvice but damnit I couldn't resist)

I now have a craving for something a thousand miles away, how should I cure it

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 920
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