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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 11:46:53 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

I now have a craving for something a thousand miles away, how should I cure it


Give in to it! 

beth and I are heading back to the "homeland" in two weeks. I've been making a list of all the indulgent foods and favorite restaurants. After your post I'm adding a "Rita's" to the list which is growing and includes but isn't limited too: Hoagie, Delorenzo's Pizza, Chuck's Wings, a trip to Seaside for a slice boardwalk of oil dripping pizza, Mastori's Dinner, Maruca's Pizza, cheese steak, Brother's Pizza, Mussels and a Yankee Game at '1st & Ten', Italian Ice from 'The 'Burg", Calzoni, and dinner every night at a different 'favorite' Italian restaurant.

So now for my need of advice. Other than bulimia how can I limit the amount of weight gained after such a trip?

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 921
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 11:57:07 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Jump on board the first commercial space flight thus reducing your weight drastically.

I’m obsessed with buying crap I don’t need the other week I bought a desk lamp but have no space on my tiny desk for it. How can I avoid such mistakes in future? I only bought it because you could turn it on and off by touching the frame.

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 922
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 1:09:23 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		Well that is easy, pay your bills and whatever is left over send it to me.  If I have all the spare money you can't spend it on crap you have no need for and instead I can buy crap for myself.

I just got a lot of really fun ideas of what I could do with extra money I wont be getting cause no one seems to listen to me when I tell them to give me their money.  What should I do about this?

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 923
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 2:35:57 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		You shouldn't put up with that crap. You get your whip and tell people to fork over the cash or they are going to get a serious ass whoopin!


I have a crush on my dentist and need a subtle way of letting him know. What should I do?

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 924
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 3:40:52 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

I have a crush on my dentist and need a subtle way of letting him know. What should I do?


Eat a bag or Oreo cookies just before going to his office for your next cleaning.

Son wants a new laptop for a graduation present Which brand?


(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 925
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 4:15:40 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Well, Merc, that would depend on which street corner you are buying at.

My neighbor's children constantly pester me to come outside and play with them.  How can I convince them to leave me alone without harming them?


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 926
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 4:47:07 PM   
therahe


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/28/2006
Status: offline 		quit your job, buy heavy drapes, disconnect your phone and don't answer your door..in fact never leave your house again.



everytime i sleep on my back, the light from the street comes in my window. i can't move my bed and i already have blinds. what can i do about it?

_____________________________

erotic nightmares

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 927
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 4:56:52 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		get a nail and a hammer, postion point end of nail over your eye and whack it with the hammer

My belly button stinks what should I do

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to therahe)
Profile   Post #: 928
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 5:03:30 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf1020

My belly button stinks what should I do


Carefully untie cord...scrub.  Use small-bottle brush for open end; retie.

I'm trying to quit sucking my thumb, but feel silly with a pacifier... what should I do?

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 929
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 5:13:36 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline 		Find something else to suck on, if you need a test subject let me know

There is never anything on tv what should I do with it

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 930
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 5:17:25 PM   
Pavel


Posts: 308
Joined: 1/10/2005
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Buy a new TV.  Shoot the old TV in front of the new one.  Tell the surviveing TV that "that is what happens when you fail to entertain me."  That ought to ensure proper TV entertainment values.

There's a hole in my sock.  How do I deal with this?

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 931
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 8:34:25 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		cut a hole in the other sock so they match again and paint your toe nails

I can't see well when trying to shave my under area. what can i do to make sure i don't miss anything?


_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to Pavel)
Profile   Post #: 932
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 9:41:33 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		Pull out the trusty weed whacker and have at it, this way you  won't miss anything


I love scary movies and I'm trying to convince my Top  they are not that bad, what should I do?


denika

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 933
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 5/31/2006 10:48:50 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I love scary movies and I'm trying to convince my Top  they are not that bad, what should I do?


WTF kind of question is that? You obviously have never heard of topping from the bottom! When he comes home from work, bend his ass over a livingroom chair and cane him until his screams begin to peel the paint off the walls. Then, tell him to stand up and watch this horror film and like it. If this doesn't work, do it again until it does.


I think I was a little over the top on my last advice. How can I be the kinder, gentler Gauge?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to denika)
Profile   Post #: 934
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 12:11:18 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		No one wants a kinder, gentler, Gauge.  Now start stealing candy from babies, slapping your co-workers asses, run over any children playing in the street, and play very loud, very bad Jazz at three o'clock in the morning. 

My cat keeps getting into my aqarium for midnight snacks, how can I make him stop.


_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 935
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 3:27:33 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Leave the fish laying on the counter overnight.

I seem to have pulled a groin muscle slightly while trying to get back in shape.  How can I get it to stop hurting?


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 936
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 3:48:49 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I seem to have pulled a groin muscle slightly while trying to get back in shape. How can I get it to stop hurting?

Get famous football jock O.J.Simpson to massage it for you.

My girlfriend says I'm too ADD. How do I correct this?

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 937
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 4:22:18 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Buy one of those pill crushers that old people use.  Crush your Ritilan, and snort it like cocaine.  This will allow it to get into your bloodstream more quickly and more effectively.  Also try uping the dose to double.  No need to talk to your Doctor about this.  Ritalin is perfectly safe, that is why they are always giving it to children.


I keep confusing my NexTel radio with my cellular phone while I am at work.  Any suggestions?

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 938
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 5:42:25 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I keep confusing my NexTel radio with my cellular phone while I am at work. Any suggestions?

I tried phoning you about the probem, but I kept getting Radio Station WHIP.

All my radios now are playing WHIP. How do I tune in another station?

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 939
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/1/2006 6:44:40 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Adjust your tin foil hat.

How can I curb my caffeine addiction without increasing my nicotine addiction?


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 940
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