RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 8:36:03 AM)
kill yourself and take care of two birds with one stone I locked the key to my safe inside the safe how do I get it out

Dustyn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 9:26:07 AM)
Hold some C-4 over the lock with your hand, just to make sure it doesn't fall off and detonate it. Sure fire solution every time. I'm growing my hair back out, but it's starting to go gray. What should I do about the gray?

Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 9:38:00 AM)
pour sulfuric acid ontop of your head and it will remove all those stubbern grays. Now on top of the key being in the safe I am in the hospital down a limb and all the money to pay for my medical bill are in that safe. What do I do?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 10:06:47 AM)
quote: How can I curb my caffeine addiction without increasing my nicotine addiction? Most people aren't aware that tobacco is quite similar to tea leaves. Brew up some hot water and then dunk a full pack of cigarettes into it. Let it set for about 20 minutes, add milk and sugar or honey if you like and enjoy. Where does all the dust come from that lands on the TV screen? How can I stop it from getting my screen so dirty that it makes Carl Malden look attractive?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 10:09:04 AM)
quote: Now on top of the key being in the safe I am in the hospital down a limb and all the money to pay for my medical bill are in that safe. What do I do? Well, sell the little pieces of your limb on eBay and claim they are from Bigfoot. This will work I tell you... it has to. Where does all the dust come from that lands on the TV screen? How can I stop it from getting my screen so dirty that it makes Carl Malden look attractive?

hmmmmnbird -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 10:31:48 AM)
quote: Where does all the dust come from that lands on the TV screen? How can I stop it from getting my screen so dirty that it makes Carl Malden look attractive? That dust comes from dust bunnies hopping through your house. To avoid getting dust on the TV screen, you need to build a ten foot moat around the TV and fill it with alligators, who will eat the bunnies before they can get to the screen. [8D]

Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 11:37:28 AM)
Hmm… How do we get the thread to continue?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 12:55:52 PM)
quote: Hmm… How do we get the thread to continue? I think a massive SPAM advertising campaign is in order! I need to find a good mechanic that will not try to rip me off. How can I tell if they are honest or not?

Dustyn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 1:26:21 PM)
Count the number of vehicles in the parking lot and compare it to the selection of parts in the building. My mother called and asked me if I knew what a flogger was. Is it appropriate to be a smart ass at that point or just go straight into therapy?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 2:07:44 PM)
quote: My mother called and asked me if I knew what a flogger was. Is it appropriate to be a smart ass at that point or just go straight into therapy? It is best to scream at the top of your lungs and throw yourself on the floor in a tantrum. If she continues asking then it is OK to be a smart ass. It looks like rain out and I don't have an umbrella. I am at work. What should I do?

akisha -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 2:12:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge quote: I love scary movies and I'm trying to convince my Top they are not that bad, what should I do? WTF kind of question is that? You obviously have never heard of topping from the bottom! When he comes home from work, bend his ass over a livingroom chair and cane him until his screams begin to peel the paint off the walls. Then, tell him to stand up and watch this horror film and like it. If this doesn't work, do it again until it does. oh damn lol denika if you try this please please please let me be there to see it LMAO and i'll keep 911 on speed dial for you too. and i'm not using a weed wacker on my tender parts lol. I'm not that hairy lol but i know some that should shudders

akisha -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 2:14:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge quote: My mother called and asked me if I knew what a flogger was. Is it appropriate to be a smart ass at that point or just go straight into therapy? It is best to scream at the top of your lungs and throw yourself on the floor in a tantrum. If she continues asking then it is OK to be a smart ass. It looks like rain out and I don't have an umbrella. I am at work. What should I do? Stay at work untill the sunshines again. I'm sure your boss won't mind I'm out of batteries and i'm broke what should I do?

Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 2:19:13 PM)
quote: I'm out of batteries and i'm broke what should I do? A lot of people do not realize that batteries can be recharged in the microwave. All you have to do is place them on a paper plate or paper towel and set the microwave on high for 60 minutes. Don't worry if you hear popping noises or smell something bad, that is just the energy charging up the batteries. I am going to have broadband next week. Is there anything I should do to prepare for this momentous event?

missgiveNTake -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 2:21:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge It looks like rain out and I don't have an umbrella. I am at work. What should I do? I think you should strip and fold you clothes neatly in your breifcase. Then you can walk to your car without having to worry about your clothes getting wet. quote: I'm out of batteries and i'm broke what should I do? Take the items you need batteries to each of your neighbors houses to see if they have batteries that will fit. You can even offer to share said items once you get them running. quote: I am going to have broadband next week. Is there anything I should do to prepare for this momentous event? Throw a party and tell everyone you will allow them to hook up their house with it from your house. I want to break the world record on the leanth of time of wearing an anal plug. How long should I wear it to make sure I got the record?

CruelandKindSdst -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 2:52:53 PM)
If you want really really bad advice, read the forums here and listen to the advice given... with very few exceptions this is the blind leading the ignorant, really... The worst of the offenders are those who live in the forums...

akisha -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 3:12:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CruelandKindSdst If you want really really bad advice, read the forums here and listen to the advice given... with very few exceptions this is the blind leading the ignorant, really... The worst of the offenders are those who live in the forums... [:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(] this is supposed to be for fun, go away and slap who ever peed in your corn flakes and leave us alone to enjoy our day.

Dustyn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 4:46:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CruelandKindSdst If you want really really bad advice, read the forums here and listen to the advice given... with very few exceptions this is the blind leading the ignorant, really... The worst of the offenders are those who live in the forums... So does this count as really, really bad advice?

LaMalinche -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 7:01:20 PM)
I want to break the world record on the leanth of time of wearing an anal plug. How long should I wear it to make sure I got the record? Six years, three months, eleven days, 4 hours, and 13 minutes. To achieve this you need to get a colostomy bag. Just go down to your local bargin surgeon, and have part of your colon removed. Since you will be using the colostomy bag, you will not have to worry about removing the plug to do any of your. . . umm. . . business. You will be on your way to breaking that record in no time. Sorry that I missed your call Petruchio! I spilled bleach on my pink skirt, what should I do?

Pavel -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 7:07:30 PM)
Finish the job! Bleaching it the rest of the way simply makes it a white skirt. My dog is looking anxious, and eyeing the door to the backyard. How should I address this crisis?

SylentStryder -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/1/2006 7:37:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Pavel My dog is looking anxious, and eyeing the door to the backyard. How should I address this crisis? quickly lock the door, lay out all of your best linens on the floor, set out a HUGE bowl of water and see what he does. I keep getting these stupid pieces of paper at work every Friday instead of money. What do I do with them, they are stacking up all over my house???

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