RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/30/2006 9:30:54 PM)

I'm not the consultant how should I know?

I have a bunch of hair leftover though from that failed plan, what should I do about it and does rogain work on dogs they are still pissed at me.



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/30/2006 9:34:15 PM)

quote:

I have a bunch of hair leftover though from that failed plan, what should I do about it and does rogain work on dogs they are still pissed at me.


HELLO?! Krazy Glue. ***mumbles***


I am thinking of hiring a hitman. Got any ideas on how to find a reliable one?



Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/30/2006 9:36:53 PM)

sure as part of the hiring process hire them to kill you, any that don't get the job done don't hire them cause they aren't very good.

I am all out of superglue cause I lent it to some guy to glue a needle to his mirror and besides I have enough hair grown in anyway.  Any other ideas not involving glue or putting it back onto me?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/30/2006 9:40:34 PM)

quote:

I am all out of superglue cause I lent it to some guy to glue a needle to his mirror and besides I have enough hair grown in anyway.  Any other ideas not involving glue or putting it back onto me?


Weave it into an Oriental Rug.


I am getting DSL finally and I need some advice for a firewall for my computer. What should I do?



Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/30/2006 9:42:15 PM)

build a wall around your computer and set it on fire

I need a place for my new rug where should I put it



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/30/2006 9:48:42 PM)

quote:

I need a place for my new rug where should I put it


On your naked dogs.


I should go to bed but I might be having too much fun on here. What should I do?



Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/30/2006 9:52:09 PM)

stay up anyway, who needs sleep just deal with it like a man

my dogs looked so sexy in those rugs they got three neighborhood dogs pregnant and now their owners are bitching at me to cover half the costs of the vet, what should I do?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/30/2006 9:56:09 PM)

quote:

my dogs looked so sexy in those rugs they got three neighborhood dogs pregnant and now their owners are bitching at me to cover half the costs of the vet, what should I do?


Lurk around his house at night naked so he thinks that Bigfoot is stalking him. Then tell him that you control Bigfoot and that the only way to get him to stop is to let you off the hook for the vet bill.


I have way too many plastic shopping bags in my house. Isn't there something creative I can do with them?



Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/30/2006 9:59:07 PM)

melt then down and then mold them into the shape of a penis as a gift to your girlfriend

I tried it but aparently he was scared of bigfoot and shot me in the ass now what am I to do, I have a vet bill and a hospital bill



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/30/2006 10:02:54 PM)

quote:

I tried it but aparently he was scared of bigfoot and shot me in the ass now what am I to do, I have a vet bill and a hospital bill


I got it! Sell the blood from the wound on eBay as authentic Bigfoot blood. And for $20 more you will send them Bigfoot hair that was ripped off by your now, naked dogs.

I really think that career consulting is for me. What should I do now? I have gotten through my first big corporate promotion.



Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/30/2006 10:06:30 PM)

now you should take some of that money from the promotion and get classes cause your consulting abilities suck, all the blood is on the ground and when I went back for it the bastard shot me agian

Now I have yet another gunshot and it is effecting my budding movie career what do I do



Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/31/2006 12:41:53 AM)

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Now I have yet another gunshot and it is effecting my budding movie career what do I do

Easy: Specialize in snuff films.

Problem: A person gets to star only once in a snuff film. Is there an Oscar for necrophilia?



UtopianRanger -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/31/2006 1:22:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

quote:

Now I have yet another gunshot and it is effecting my budding movie career what do I do

Easy: Specialize in snuff films.

Problem: A person gets to star only once in a snuff film. Is there an Oscar for necrophilia?



I recommend that they contact Roman Polanski

Just had a helicopter drop me off on a steep, fresh powder slope in the back country. After the helicopter leaves I notice after looking through my monocular there are open crevices everywhere down the side of the slope. Should I ski or walk - I have no snow shoes or crampons?



VandalHeart -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/31/2006 7:25:38 AM)

I say handstand all the way down the mountain.  It'll at least set a new world record.

My ex-wife keeps flipflopping on whether or not she wants to give me another chance.  Every time she talks to me it's either a long list of what I need to do (basically, Me = Sissifus), or it the declaration of I have run out of chances.  What should I do about this ulcer?



Dustyn -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/31/2006 10:03:24 AM)

Call Angus Wells because he does dirty deeps cheaply.

My parents are wanting to meet my daughter and her mother.  How can I keep this from turning into a fiasco short of hiding in tree by the river?



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/31/2006 10:09:00 AM)

quote:

My parents are wanting to meet my daughter and her mother.  How can I keep this from turning into a fiasco short of hiding in tree by the river?


This is easy. Nothing says 'accept me' better than firearms and drugs. You get the idea.


I have lost all of my ambition to do anything today but I have stuff to do. How can I motivate myself?



Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/31/2006 10:10:43 AM)

go to the zoo and release a pack of hungry wolves, this will get you running and motivated to do what you need to do

I broke my toe whats the best way to fix it



Lashra -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/31/2006 10:11:31 AM)

Don't tell them where you hid the bodies.[;)]

What does one give a tattoo covered leather biker dude for Fathers Day?

~Lashra



Gauge -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/31/2006 10:21:02 AM)

quote:

I broke my toe whats the best way to fix it


Cut it off. Then begin amphibian DNA injections in the hope that you will be able to regrow your toe.

quote:

What does one give a tattoo covered leather biker dude for Fathers Day?


Get him the book Knitting For Dummies.


I am going on a short vacation to the Jersey shore next month. What should I plan to do if it rains?



Wolf1020 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (5/31/2006 10:25:23 AM)

Get a ritas strawberry banana or chocolat and mint custard (ok, not badadvice but damnit I couldn't resist)

I now have a craving for something a thousand miles away, how should I cure it



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