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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/12/2006 11:58:54 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		dress up in really trampy cloths and stand on the corner near your hotel. Not only will lots of guys come talk to you but you can make a little extra cash on the side.


I want to become more involved with some one but not sure how to tell him. How can I show him or tell him what i'm seeking with out openly saying it?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/12/2006 3:58:39 PM   
missgiveNTake


Posts: 673
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		On his Birthday deliver a nude singing telegram in person.

I hate bras but don't want my breast to ever meet my knees. Is there another way to support them without a bra?

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Highly intelligent with a generous pinch of the absurd! (Thank you Crouchingtigress)

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/12/2006 5:01:18 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		staple gun.... or duct tape either one works great *S* or possibly even a hot glue gun for a more permant lift.


I think my dog ate the tv remote and the  switches on the tv don't work any more, how can I change the channel?


denika



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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/12/2006 5:45:37 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		Let your dog hump your leg...while humping he will push the buttons, changing the channels...just pull him off when you get to the channel you want.

Not able to make my bills this month, what should I do?

C

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"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/12/2006 7:46:45 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Take what little money you have and go to the casino. You'll win more then you need. I'm sure of it. If you start losing don't worry just pull more off you're credit cards. You will win eventually.


I really want a puppy, but i'm not allowed pets where i live. Should I sneak one in or is there a better alternative?

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to CERCKL)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/12/2006 8:00:03 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		Get a hairless chihuahua and dress it in infant clothes...get a stroller, etc...if ANYTHING is said look insulted, make a comment about your niece and run away crying.

I have to meet my ex's boyfriend at my son's graduation tomorrow, what should I do? (BTW grandparents, etc will be there and the ex still won't admit she's bringing him, though he told my son he'ld be there...)

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/12/2006 10:15:15 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have to meet my ex's boyfriend at my son's graduation tomorrow, what should I do? (BTW grandparents, etc will be there and the ex still won't admit she's bringing him, though he told my son he'ld be there...)


Walk right up to your ex's boyfriend and say in a very loud voice "Hey, did she ever find out what caused that rash on her cunt?" and walk away.


I need to know something but I am afraid to ask because I am afraid that someone will make fun of me. What should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/12/2006 10:21:01 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		<evil grin>

It'll be my first time meeting him and I think it's BS pulling it in this fashion...had found out they were, before I found out about being left...love your suggestion.

So, you had a question, right? Let's see...I know, tell the person you think'll make fun of you for asking that you know they're too goddamned stupid to have any clue but would they know someone who might be able to answer your question; when they get upset, tell them nevermind, they only know stupid ass punks anyway and you'll just ask a stranger or google it...

BTW, when I meet the boyfriend for the first time, should I pepperspray him in the face ala Hunter S Thompson and then kick him in the balls or just ask about the ex's rash?

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 1:40:07 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

BTW, when I meet the boyfriend for the first time, should I pepperspray him in the face ala Hunter S Thompson and then kick him in the balls or just ask about the ex's rash?


Since it is going to be a festive occasion, ask about the rash first and then pepper spray and a good hoof to the nads. That will set the tone nicely.


I am thinking of starting up a .com business. Any advice on how I should do this?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 1129
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 3:57:04 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		Invest your life-savings into the first product that comes your way oh and make sure you website has tons of ads and annimations.
 
I have a sore throat, what should i do?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1130
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 4:35:12 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have a sore throat, what should i do?


Gargle with the juice from 4 pounds of maggots. It might not make the sore throat go away, but it will take your mind off of it for quite a while.


I keep getting spiders in my apartment. Now, I am not overly fond of spiders. What should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 1131
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 4:51:06 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		Spiders dont like shakespere, read two hours every night, and train a parrot to pick up the slack while you are at work.
 
I have writers block what should i do?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1132
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 4:55:06 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Go watch some porn and relax. You're creative juices will start flowing again with the rest of you. If that doesn't work go find a really old not well known book close to what you are writing and just borrow a couple ideas. No one will know the difference

I've been told I have an abnormally high sex drive. what can I do to be normal?

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 1133
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 4:58:36 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		wait....that was really really goooood advice.....
 
well you are what you eat, have you tried eating some of these normal people?
 
I am paranoid...please tell me...no dont....yes actually please tell me what to do????..

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 10:21:44 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I am paranoid...please tell me...no dont....yes actually please tell me what to do????..


Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you. First of all, have two of those large truck side mirrors bolted to your head. Second, place cameras everywhere in your home... closets, basement, attic, under the bed, in the washer and dryer... you get the idea. Have a receiver implanted into your brain to constantly feed you the pictures from the cameras. Between the mirrors and the cameras, I would say you have things covered.


It is really warm in my apartment. I have the windows open but there is little or no breeze out. How can I get it to cool down in here?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 1135
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 10:27:52 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		get a drill and duct tape 7 cds to it so that it makes an electric pin weel
 
i owe my ex money i dont have what should i do?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1136
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 10:39:33 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		wait till he isn't looking and whack him the head with a shovel, then you can bury him, see no more worry about owing him money or returning any of his stuff *s* ps I would also go  to his home and steal everything you can hawk and solve the money problem.



My hubbie was  feeling in the mood and accidently grabbed the crazy glue instead of the lube, he can't get his hand off his prick, bit hard to go to work like that, what should he do?


denika

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 1137
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 10:41:30 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i owe my ex money i dont have what should i do?


Hire someone to break his legs. Why? Just because. If he comes to you and asks why you had someone break his legs, tell him because he owes you money. When he looks at you as if you are a space alien, kick him in both legs. Then have someone break his arms. Then you will have the money to pay him back.


I can't choose which CD's to duct tape to my power drill. How can I decide?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 1138
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 10:43:00 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		laffing like crazy. that was a great one!
 
He needs to find another job then.
 
 
My dogs farts smell awful....

(in reply to denika)
Profile   Post #: 1139
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 10:51:44 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		You have one of 2 choices. You can stop sniffing your dogs butt. or give him and enema and then spray perfume up there. For added insurance hang an airfreshener from his tail.

I've lost myself and have no idea where to look. Any idea?

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 1140
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