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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 9:07:41 AM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

wear a remote egg to work and keep it turned on low. Trust me you will have no desire to sleep at all.

I have a serious problem. i love to buy underwear but i'm broke. what can i do?

_____________________________

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It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

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532-095-649

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 1081

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 9:15:37 AM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Buy it at thrift stores. I swear, those stains will go away if you soak them in hydrochloric acid overnight.

I just bought some new furniture, and have a bunch of styrofoam kicking around. To throw it out, I need to break it apart, and if I do that, I have those little bits of it sticking to everything. How do I kill the guy who invented that shit?

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 1082

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 9:27:10 AM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I just bought some new furniture, and have a bunch of styrofoam kicking around. To throw it out, I need to break it apart, and if I do that, I have those little bits of it sticking to everything. How do I kill the guy who invented that shit?

Very slowly, and painfully. Stick a few thousand straight pins in him, put him in a box filled with little flecks of the stuff and ship him to Zimbabwe by way of Antarctica. If the UPS guy doesn't jostle him to death, the cannibals will have him for dinner.

I'm afraid of both heights and ladders. How can I work up enough courage to paint the exterior of the upper floors of my house?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 1083

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 9:39:35 AM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Get on the roof, with a giant vat of paint & a bungy cord.

Jump into the vat, then jump off the roof.

Climb back up, attach the bungy cord to the chimney, and jump off.

Climb back up, muttering about the literal instructions, attach the bungy cord to your feet as well, then jump off.

If you do it just right, you'll be pulled back up along the side of the house, painting it nicely.

I now have to assemble all this furniture, but it didn't come with istructions, and the guy who knew how was killed and eaten by antarctic cannibals, making the Zimbabwean cannibals die of starvation. How can we save them?

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Evanesce)

Post #: 1084

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 11:05:08 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Voodoo. Then you can eat the antarctic cannibals, because I read somewhere that if you eat someone you gain their superpowers.

There are a bunch of Zimbabwean zombies running around outside my house and I just ran out of shotgun shells. What's the next best weapon for rekilling Benji's starving zombies?

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 1085

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 12:50:28 PM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain

Voodoo. Then you can eat the antarctic cannibals, because I read somewhere that if you eat someone you gain their superpowers.

There are a bunch of Zimbabwean zombies running around outside my house and I just ran out of shotgun shells. What's the next best weapon for rekilling Benji's starving zombies?

Empty cat food tins.

A/anyone know of a fish that can share a un-airated fish bowl with a beta?

pinkee

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)

Post #: 1086

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 1:29:50 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

a pirahna or two should do nicely

my mind is in the gutter and i can't concentrate on anything else. what can i do to get through the rest of the work day?

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 1087

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 2:25:52 PM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

a pirahna or two should do nicely

my mind is in the gutter and i can't concentrate on anything else. what can i do to get through the rest of the work day?

Get laid..well.

My laundry is done but not put away; still in laundry baskets. What should i do?

pinkee

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 1088

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 5:46:23 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

My laundry is done but not put away; still in laundry baskets. What should i do?

Leave it in the baskets. It's gonna wind up back there, anyway, right?

I'm still trying to get over my fear of heights long enough to paint my house. Benji gave me some good ideas on how to paint it without having to climb a ladder, but I'm still too scared to do it that way. Bungee cords are really scary! How can I overcome this fear?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 1089

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 5:49:52 PM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

quote:

My laundry is done but not put away; still in laundry baskets. What should i do?

Leave it in the baskets. It's gonna wind up back there, anyway, right?

I'm still trying to get over my fear of heights long enough to paint my house. Benji gave me some good ideas on how to paint it without having to climb a ladder, but I'm still too scared to do it that way. Bungee cords are really scary! How can I overcome this fear?

It's impossible. Take up wh*ring outside a Sherwin-Williams store instead.

How can i get the HNGs i foolishly gave my Yahell nick to, to stop IM'ing me?

pinkee

(in reply to Evanesce)

Post #: 1090

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 6:31:46 PM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

Well, tell them that you are really a guy. And you can back this up by sending them nekkid pictures of VandalHeart, if you do not have any, PM me and I will send you some. (I am sooooo gonna pay for that last comment.)

My cat stares at nothing and then meows at thin air. . . why is he doing this?

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 1091

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 6:39:10 PM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMalinche

Well, tell them that you are really a guy. And you can back this up by sending them nekkid pictures of VandalHeart, if you do not have any, PM me and I will send you some. (I am sooooo gonna pay for that last comment.)

My cat stares at nothing and then meows at thin air. . . why is he doing this?

Yes please, send the nakie pictures.

Your cat needs a cat psychiatrist. Don't you ever watch "Animal Planet"?

Lam isn't playing "English Grammar"; do Y/you suppose something awful happened to Him?

pinkee

< Message edited by pinkee -- 6/8/2006 6:40:22 PM >

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 1092

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 9:39:47 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Lam isn't playing "English Grammar"; do Y/you suppose something awful happened to Him?

Of course something awful has happened to him. I am sure several good things have happened as well. Come to think of it... maybe he ran off with the elephant in his avatar.

I can't decide what to do. I have to do laundry, I have to clean my apartment and I have to clean out my car. What should I do? And if I don't do all of this stuff, is there a way for me not to feel guilty?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 1093

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 9:54:16 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Blame the slave. Always blame the slave.

A friend is moving to China next week, and I haven't bought him a going away gift. How do explain delicately that I'm happy to see him go?

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 1094

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 9:57:55 PM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

Drugs. . . lots and lots of drugs. . .

You cannot feel guilty when you are on ectasy.

I keep hearing bells. . . and it is not christmas time. What do I do?

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 1095

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 10:07:43 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Decorate the house, get a tree, call up Santa, and expect gifts.

A friend is moving to China next week, and I haven't bought him a going away gift. How do explain delicately that I'm happy to see him go?

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 1096

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 10:10:10 PM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

Oh. . . that one is easy. . .

Just say, "You know I love you. . . now get the fuck out of my life!"

When is Santa gonna get here, and should I have really started that fire in the fireplace?

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 1097

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 10:28:56 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Tuesday. Yes.

How do I get enough sleep if it's 1:28 now, and I have to be up by 7?

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 1098

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 11:03:33 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Excessive masturbation followed by a night cap.

How do I get the dust off of the window blinds?

Vendavla

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

Tuesday. Yes.

How do I get enough sleep if it's 1:28 now, and I have to be up by 7?

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 1099

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/8/2006 11:26:43 PM

Dustyn

Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

Just use a leaf blower, preferably one that Tim Allen has worked on.

I am trying to find a delicate way of threatening my parents if they buy my daughter so much as a single noisy toy. Any suggestions?

_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 1100

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