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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 10:57:48 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I've lost myself and have no idea where to look. Any idea?


Start where you last remember seeing yourself.

I can't choose which CD's to duct tape to my power drill. How can I decide?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 11:00:07 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		Up my dog's but I think i caught a whiff of you there....
 
I cant stop laughing from this thread any ideas?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 11:01:35 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		Start with the boy bands....then move into the yoko ono collection that i know you secretly have!
 
I cant stop laughing from this thread any ideas?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 11:06:41 PM   
ShreveportMaster


Posts: 899
Joined: 10/6/2004
From: Dallas, Tx
Status: offline 		 drop an anvil on your foot while reading the thread...it'll still be funny, but the screams shouldd rown out the laughter.

My old nag got sick, should I take him to the Horsepital?

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"And to sooth the Bosk, there was found a Singing Cowboy. To soothe the Cowboy, a kajira is needed."

Riders of Gor
Book 37, Pg 298 ;-)

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 11:13:42 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My old nag got sick, should I take him to the Horsepital?


When you said 'old nag' I thought you meant my ex wife.

That would depend on what is wrong with your horse. Most people do not know this but you have to change your horse's oil every 3000 miles or three months whichever is first. Try this first and see what happens.


I am confused. What do I do now?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to ShreveportMaster)
Profile   Post #: 1145
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 11:28:17 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		leave little sticky notes everywhere so you know what you are supposed to do and when.

I have a task that really should be done but I have no idea how to start it. it involves big scary men and favours. Any idea how to go about it?


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I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 11:41:10 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		well Martha Stewart would be very proud of you, giving your guests special party favors, how very lady like....i think her hanky code is something like: (doing this from memory so bear with me) give the biggest and the scariest pink balloons and chrysanthemums and the less big and less scary get  gold lamet pinecones and engraved picture frames....
 
 
I am a lousy lay what should i do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/13/2006 11:47:46 PM   
FloridaISIS


Posts: 235
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		Practice makes purrfect. Ride him cowgirl style--yeehaw giddyap.
Ride that cowboy,  or you could just bust out the toys, and call it a party in your pants and invite your friends.

I can't find a switch who is also a Daddy what should I do?  (waits for the smart-assed comments to roll in)

< Message edited by FloridaISIS -- 6/13/2006 11:58:47 PM >

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 1148
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/14/2006 12:22:17 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		I think you might try a more expensive perfume...
 
I got drunk the othere night with two trannies, a preacher, the deputy mayor, a lama named Ollie, and 10 lords a leapin' and well you know how that is when that happens, one thing leads to another....
 
Well thing is there are pictures and they are threatening me to put the internet....what evah shall I doooo?

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Profile   Post #: 1149
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/14/2006 11:01:16 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I got drunk the othere night with two trannies, a preacher, the deputy mayor, a lama named Ollie, and 10 lords a leapin' and well you know how that is when that happens, one thing leads to another....
 
Well thing is there are pictures and they are threatening me to put the internet....what evah shall I doooo?


That is easy. Call Al Gore. He invented the Internet and he will know how to deal with it.


I have a sharp pain whenever I lift my arm up over my head. Other than not lifting my arm over my head, what should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 1150
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/14/2006 12:22:48 PM   
missgiveNTake


Posts: 673
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		That's easy, anytime you need to lift your arm drop a sledge hammer on your foot, You won't notice the pain in your foot.

My radiator leaks and I can't afford a new one, what should I do?

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I am a very good girl, very good at all I do.

Highly intelligent with a generous pinch of the absurd! (Thank you Crouchingtigress)

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/14/2006 12:39:38 PM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline 		get some hubba bubba bubblegum....chew it up....stick it on....viola'....leaks plugged.


The ducks and geese in my lake fight over the food i feed them...what should i do?

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/14/2006 12:43:50 PM   
missgiveNTake


Posts: 673
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		Feed them less and enjoy the fight. Then once it's over with you will have fewer mouths to feed.


My son asked what masturbation is, how does a mom explain that to a boy?

_____________________________

I am a very good girl, very good at all I do.

Highly intelligent with a generous pinch of the absurd! (Thank you Crouchingtigress)

(in reply to spankmepink11)
Profile   Post #: 1153
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/14/2006 1:22:26 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My son asked what masturbation is, how does a mom explain that to a boy?


Easy. Show him a picture of George W. Bush. He is a jerkoff and so you will be able to answer his question.


I am having a hard time managing my time. Sometimes I don't even know if I am coming or going. What should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to missgiveNTake)
Profile   Post #: 1154
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/14/2006 1:24:48 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		easy buy a dog, every thing in life is better when you have a dog...
 
i have put off the dentist for 3 years cause i am afraid.....

(in reply to Gauge)
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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/14/2006 1:27:53 PM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		easy buy a dog, every thing in life is better when you have a dog... 
 
I tried calling Master a couple times and He has not called me back yet.  Should I try Him again?

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"...... all that, a bag of chips AND a pickle!!!"

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/14/2006 1:31:18 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		did we both give the same advice???? holy crap....that is amazing?!!!
 
No if he really loved you he would have been there...give the collar back...obviuously he is not a twue master!

i have not caught a fish in over 10 years....

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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/14/2006 1:33:31 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I tried calling Master a couple times and He has not called me back yet.  Should I try Him again?


Sure, you can try.... but don't you think it would be better to use a phone instead of yelling for him?


I have a bunch of eggs in the fridge that are expired. I hate to waste food. What can I do with them?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to angelface183)
Profile   Post #: 1158
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/14/2006 1:36:08 PM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		keep them a little longer and them throw them at the crabby old man down the street.  *oops i meant his house.  don't really throw them at him!

ok I used the phone still did not reach Him, now what?

< Message edited by angelface183 -- 6/14/2006 1:37:05 PM >

_____________________________

"...... all that, a bag of chips AND a pickle!!!"

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Profile   Post #: 1159
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/14/2006 1:38:23 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		feed them to the dog you just bought!!!
 
I have a need for externalvalidation every where i go.....*thinks: gosh I hope they like this question i really really doooo*....what should i do???*thinks: i hope they dont think i am a basket case for being so open about my personal life*...*thinks: oh shit i prolly should not have typed that*...*thinks: or that!*

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1160
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