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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/15/2006 1:35:20 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		nope!!! ....mine is used more then a 2dollar whore.....(no offense to who ever reads this if you are a two dollar whore, please, its just an analogy)
 
but you could use it as a small, uneven platform to practice your ballet on and then it might feel the love.....
 
I am addicted to random stupidity...any thoughts?


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1181
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/15/2006 3:10:17 PM   
Unfallen


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline 		Keep turning the TV on.  It works for radios,  they feel wanted and appreciated.

My swing is keeping me in suspense... What should I do?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1182
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/15/2006 9:08:05 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I am addicted to random stupidity...any thoughts?


I have thoughts, yes. But they are random and stupid and therefore not much use to you.

quote:

 My swing is keeping me in suspense... What should I do?  


Well, honestly I would dig a large pit outside in a big, secluded forrest somewhere. Fill the pit with quick drying cement and hop in. After all, swings will keep you in suspense forever.


I am going to the beach tomorrow. I have a towel, sunscreen, chairs, flip flops and sunglasses. I think I am missing something. Any thoughts?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 1183
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/15/2006 9:22:17 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		i think you are missing two lobsters one for each nipple.....
 
i dont want to go to work....should i call in sick?....

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1184
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/15/2006 9:25:26 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		No, you should call in dead.  Tell them to send your retirement money and death benefits to a guy named Guido in Nepal.
 
My cat won't get off my mousepad.  What should I do?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 1185
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/15/2006 9:28:43 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		learn to surender to the real master of the house...
 
 
 
i need things from the store but i dont want to go in my car to get them because ai hate exercise....what should i do?

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 1186
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/15/2006 9:30:47 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Call the store, demand to speak to a manager, and yell at them for not delivering on time.

I ate too many chocolate covered strawberries, and now I'm sick of them.  What can I do?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 1187
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/15/2006 9:37:43 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		nothing i am afraid you will be dead before i could even get over there to administer the antivenom....*hangs head and sings a sad song for her old friend benji dog* arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooo arrooooooooooooooo woof woof woof......aroooooooooooooooo....
 
 
my friend benji just died and i need to send his family a card....but i dont know what to write....

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 1188
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/15/2006 11:55:05 PM   
bancheeEB


Posts: 266
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: Californication
Status: offline 		Make sure that you have the dilect down for benji dogs first...then mail it to the local pound.


I am too sleepy to keep typing  what should I do?


_____________________________

Banchee
~Live with intention~ Walk to the edge~ Listen hard~ Practice wellness~ Play with abandon~ Laugh~ Choose without regret~ Continue to learn~ Appreciate your friends~ Do what you love~ Live as if this is all there is~
~S~S~C~

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 1189
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/16/2006 12:42:46 PM   
missgiveNTake


Posts: 673
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		Teach your pet fish to type for you, putting the keyboard in his tank won't hurt a thing.

I want a bananasplit, but don't have any bananas and am too lazy to go get some. What shall I ever do?

< Message edited by missgiveNTake -- 6/16/2006 12:43:45 PM >

_____________________________

I am a very good girl, very good at all I do.

Highly intelligent with a generous pinch of the absurd! (Thank you Crouchingtigress)

(in reply to bancheeEB)
Profile   Post #: 1190
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/16/2006 12:49:15 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Split a large sausage in two and paint it yellow, then add the ice cream and chocolate sauce or whatever a bansplit's made of.

I need advice, nobody ever looks at me twice.

_____________________________



(in reply to missgiveNTake)
Profile   Post #: 1191
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/16/2006 2:27:43 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Ok the sausage in teh banana split is just nasty.

If you want people to look at you twice dye your hair screaming orange and run around yelling "I'll do anything for a dollar" works every time. trust me


I've worn out my favorite boots and desperately need a new pair but I can't decide between the 2.5" or the 3" which should i buy?

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 1192
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/16/2006 2:36:18 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Buy the 5 1/2", that's both in one.

I'm tired.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 1193
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/16/2006 3:32:59 PM   
missgiveNTake


Posts: 673
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		Go to a matress warehouse, strip naked, and curl up on the most expensive matress they have. You should get a nice rest that way. They won't mine, I promise.

My toenails need trimmed but I can't find my clippers???

_____________________________

I am a very good girl, very good at all I do.

Highly intelligent with a generous pinch of the absurd! (Thank you Crouchingtigress)

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 1194
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/16/2006 3:44:05 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Find a sub to bite them off.

After getting naked in the mattress store, the manager thought I had brought in a large boa and had it taken to the zoo.  How do I get my cock back?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to missgiveNTake)
Profile   Post #: 1195
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/16/2006 5:18:52 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

After getting naked in the mattress store, the manager thought I had brought in a large boa and had it taken to the zoo.  How do I get my cock back?


Start jerking off. It will eventually come.


OK, I am here at the beach and I am sitting on my laptop looking at the ocean. I need some ideas to do tonight.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 1196
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/16/2006 5:27:38 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Take the laptop swimming, it's good exercise for you both.
 
My 'roids are acting up; any advice?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1197
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/16/2006 5:35:36 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My 'roids are acting up; any advice?



Get a metal grinder and have at those little devils. If they hurt when you grind them then pour on some lemon juice.


I never sleep the first night in a strange place and I am quite tired, what should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 1198
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/16/2006 8:45:05 PM   
missgiveNTake


Posts: 673
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		Demand the hotel send up someone to sing you to sleep.

One of my breast hangs lower than the other. How do I fix it?

_____________________________

I am a very good girl, very good at all I do.

Highly intelligent with a generous pinch of the absurd! (Thank you Crouchingtigress)

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1199
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/16/2006 8:50:43 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Staple gun.

I need to go to sleep, and don't want to.  How do I make myself want to go to sleep?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to missgiveNTake)
Profile   Post #: 1200
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