RE: What does "submissive" mean to you?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:28:25 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Well, all I can say is, I had a topic today go to squat fairly quickly because I used the term "sub males" rather than bottom/sub/slave/masochists/switchesthatbottom/switcheswhosub/pickyourtermhere.

I'm not sure where that is LP, and it's unfortunate. I think often times real discussion is hindered by unrealistic attitudes. I guess my question is why do we (we meaning the population at large, not you and I) perpetuate these myths? Why are there so many unrealistic expectations and responses?

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 6/21/2010 7:40:00 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 21

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:29:38 PM

xXsoumisXx

Posts: 339
Joined: 7/26/2009
From: USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Well, all I can say is, I had a topic today go to squat fairly quickly because I used the term "sub males" rather than bottom/sub/slave/masochists/switchesthatbottom/switcheswhosub/pickyourtermhere.

And that is crazy when everyone knows what You mean. It reminds of some groups out there always looking for something that is not PC..!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 22

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:32:14 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Oh well that's because people want to mix up orientation with personality and turn personal relationship dynamics into a social status heirarchy. No biggie.

If we want it to stop we need to speak against "caps rules," speak against calling doms sir and subs nothing, speak against subs needing mentors/protectors while doms don't and all those other double standards that are perpetuated in the scene.

Some doms need protectors! (looks at Jeffff). I have taken the liberty of placing Jeffff under my protection and consideration.

How do we stop the perpetuation of those myths and double standards LA?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 23

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:32:48 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I guess my question is why do we (we meaning the population at large, not you and I) perpetuate these myths? Why is are there so many unrealistic expectations and responses?

Because it makes them feel squishy inside and if they had to own it for themselves, it would be too scary, too independent and too much responsibility.

Much better to keep the fantasy alive so you can have that protector, call all doms sir, feel like there's something special and universal about "submission" so you can call us all "sisters."

quote:

How do we stop the perpetuation of those myths and double standards LA?

Speak out about it at the relevant opportunities in a direct and respectful way.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 6/21/2010 7:34:38 PM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to xXsoumisXx)

Post #: 24

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:34:49 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

Yeah I agree LA. I respect your opinions, but you are NOT my sister, sorry.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 25

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:35:02 PM

ncprincess

Posts: 89
Joined: 1/14/2006
Status: offline

We will never stop them. You will always have the ones that think unless you behave exactly as they behave you can't be "truly" submissive, dominant, etc.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 26

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:36:38 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

I am gonna need some leather pants.

I was hoping to avoid the expense.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to ncprincess)

Post #: 27

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:37:30 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I am gonna need some leather pants.

I was hoping to avoid the expense.

Those might be painful if you keep insisting on going commando. See? how unsubmissive was THAT response?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 28

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:38:13 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

One word.......Quirt.....

nuff said

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 29

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:41:45 PM

ncprincess

Posts: 89
Joined: 1/14/2006
Status: offline

If you wear the leather pants and have a whip at all times I'll have scrapes on my knees from crawling around on them because I would be in such awe of your domliness.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 30

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:43:50 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
I'm not sure where that is LP, and it's unfortunate. I think often times real discussion is hindered by unrealistic attitudes. I guess my question is why do we (we meaning the population at large, not you and I) perpetuate these myths? Why are there so many unrealistic expectations and responses?

I think it has something to do with debating it to death, rather than just experiencing things. There are a lot of things that get written on boards that I've never run across any time I walked outside My front door.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 31

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:44:21 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

You really mean from literally rolling on the floor laughing right?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to ncprincess)

Post #: 32

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:45:35 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
I'm not sure where that is LP, and it's unfortunate. I think often times real discussion is hindered by unrealistic attitudes. I guess my question is why do we (we meaning the population at large, not you and I) perpetuate these myths? Why are there so many unrealistic expectations and responses?

I think it has something to do with debating it to death, rather than just experiencing things. There are a lot of things that get written on boards that I've never run across any time I walked outside My front door.

Yeah that's what I mean about unrealistic attitudes. Life isn't much like fantasy sadly.

Thanks LP. Great point.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 33

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:47:00 PM

ncprincess

Posts: 89
Joined: 1/14/2006
Status: offline

exactly.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 34

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:50:18 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

if you say you are submissive it means you surrender.

If you say you are A submissive it means you surrender at specific times at your choosing.

If you say you are a slave it means you surrender..period. You don't get to choose. You don't get to say how or when.

those are my definitions.

If you call yourself one of those then that's what I'm going to assume you are and how I would define that person in my mind.

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 35

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:53:59 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

Yep these statements are indeed silly laurell, and they drive me nuts. I am "submissive" in my own relationship and probably even to him, not enough. When random people that I don't even know tell me the rules of submissive behavior, it makes me either irritated or amused, depending on my mood. Being submissive to your partner, for me, have absolutely no bearing on my day to day life or my very not submissive personality.

Yeah I agree Aynne and I am very much the same way. However, these comments are so common that I have to wonder is that what people really want to be true and is that realistic or are they just overexposed to the internet and not experiencing at all (as LP points out)?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 36

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:54:23 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

Ah.....you have to love the internet world. While some people may choose to live 24/7 of a sub, slave, Dom(me), insert you're favorite title here, in everything they do in real life and internet life, the greater reality is most people tend to be more private and choose to play their role behind closed doors. Mind you I said most and not all.

For me, I am only submissive to my special person. At work I am certainly not submissive, at play (non-bdsm play) I am very aggressive. When I post in the forums I speak my mind regardless if I am replying to a Domme or a sub. Just because a person lists themselves as a submissive does not mean that everything they do/say/write need be in a submissive manner.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 37

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:55:14 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

if you say you are submissive it means you surrender.

If you say you are A submissive it means you surrender at specific times at your choosing.

If you say you are a slave it means you surrender..period. You don't get to choose. You don't get to say how or when.

those are my definitions.

If you call yourself one of those then that's what I'm going to assume you are and how I would define that person in my mind.

Thanks littlewonder, outside of your dynamic, do you have some expectation that a submissive or slave would act in a certain manner towards you who is not in that dynamic based on their label/role?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 38

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:55:39 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
As an opening, I'm a bit annoyed. I have seen probably 10 references to posting in a manner that "isn't submissive" or "isn't slave-like" or "isn't dominant" just in the last week.

Am I totally offbase in thinking those statements are silly? Do you truly believe that you can gauge a person's ability to surrender/submit on posts on the internet when they are not submissive to YOU?

But this annoyance got me thinking about our different viewpoints, in the more general sense, what does the word submissive mean to you? No, I'm not asking for dictionary definitions, a semantics debate, or the difference between subs and slaves and or limits or the lack thereof, please don't go there. What does it mean for someone to be submissive in the larger sense of the word for you personally? Does your personal definition leave room for reality? The question is about YOUR viewpoint, there are no right or wrong answers and yes, it is vague intentionally.

No role is limited from answering this thread.

Submissive means generally one of two things in my book, either it's their general personality or the submissive partner of a D/s relationship. I'm with LA regarding how people get personality and relationship dynamics all screwed up.

My definition leaves plenty of room for reality, at times reality is far more interesting and stranger than fiction even. I myself am not none stop Dominant 24/7, and to be honest with you I've yet to encounter anybody submissive who is none stop submissive 24/7 either. I'm speaking in terms of personality or disposition wise here. Regarding people's relationship structure, it's what terms they come to regarding what does or does not define their D/s relationship. Mind you, I would have some serious reservations about calling somebody submissive that is bossing the Dominant partner around and telling them what to do. I would have to make the "not submissive" or "not Dominant" call on things. Then again, it might be entertaining to simply watch with delight and for entertainment.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 39

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/21/2010 7:57:26 PM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

Yep these statements are indeed silly laurell, and they drive me nuts. I am "submissive" in my own relationship and probably even to him, not enough. When random people that I don't even know tell me the rules of submissive behavior, it makes me either irritated or amused, depending on my mood. Being submissive to your partner, for me, have absolutely no bearing on my day to day life or my very not submissive personality.

Yeah I agree Aynne and I am very much the same way. However, these comments are so common that I have to wonder is that what people really want to be true and is that realistic or are they just overexposed to the internet and not experiencing at all (as LP points out)?

Well personally yes I think it is a product of porn, and sites like Kink,which no offense, I do enjoy from time to time, but I live a real life and so for me, these "rules and regulations"of what a submissive should be are just foolish. I live by your sig line baby!

. Only one, and it ain't you!

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.156