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RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/22/2010 10:13:40 AM

domiguy

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I hate these types of threads.

We are all just people. In a few thousand years from Now Jeffff and I will be hailed as Gods but for the sake of staying in the moment I will attempt to respond in my current human state.

What I expect from a submissive is much different than what a normal non-deity dominant might be willing to accept.

there ya have it. Couldn't have written it better.

I will now tack on something deep that might be included in my text.....

A submissive is the durian of the Dominants world. The depths and types of submissives varies dramatically and will not appreciated by all and some may find certain aspects of submission to be repugnant if not completely nauseous. But to the connoisseur the fruit of submission is worth the journey required to bang a Thai hooker or two.

the book of D.G. 24:13

< Message edited by domiguy -- 6/22/2010 10:22:18 AM >

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RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/22/2010 10:21:35 AM

laurell3

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I agree domi, we should all just be people.

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RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/22/2010 10:25:52 AM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I agree domi, we should all just be people.

Tis true, my child.....Your great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great grandchildren will be able to recite D.G. 24:13 by heart.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 6/22/2010 10:27:47 AM >

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RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/22/2010 10:27:43 AM

KariCloud

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Submissive: Someone who enjoys bottoming in kinky sexual acts.
Submissive (orientation): Someone who chooses to submit within the context of their intimate relationships for reasons of secondary gain.
Submissive (personality): Someone who just approaches the world from a submissive stance.

I can accept this (from Laurell & Jeff). It's as good as any way to define the types of submissive that I've seen.

For me, it is really really simple now. I call myself submissive because when I fight dominance games with the right person or people, I hope I lose. And if I don't lose, I get upset and feel intensely disappointed.

I am a submissive personality, but I've learned that for me it is unhealthy to let that show. My response to the world at large is no longer to try to please them all and help everyone I come into contact with, and hasn't been since I was 14 years old. I doubt I'd have much personality, or soul, left if I hadn't changed that about my outer self. I'm still as much of a submissive personality as I was as a child, I just choose to present a different mask to the world at large. So seeing me in public, I might not appear to be submissive. I'm polite and deferential and generally kind and sweet. But I won't try to make people happy, I won't attempt to fulfill needs people express, they can get their own cups of water and napkins and forks and whatever. I won't offer to help, and I'll think carefully before agreeing to help when I'm asked. This isn't natural for me, but it is a heck of a lot healthier. If I act submissively towards the rest of the world, then my own needs and desires get ignored. The only times it's healthy for me to act submissively is when I'm with someone who will take on the responsibility of making sure I don't drown my own needs and desires. And with strangers, with the world, there is none of that. The world takes what I give, and offers nothing in return.

This, to me, was a part of growing up and becoming an adult. No matter what my natural personality type is, as an adult I am responsible for myself. Therefore, it is up to me to make sure I am healthy, that my needs are met, that I get my desires met too for the most part, that people don't take advantage of me. Acting on my natural impulses would NOT be a mature, responsible, adult thing to do 99% of the time. So for me, part of growing up involved learning to interact with the world in ways that are not natural to me. I would suspect that those who are submissive personality types who are not doormats probably went through something similar.

These days, I only let myself be super-helpful with my housemate, who expresses abundant appreciation for it. Everyone else can do their own chores! :)

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RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/22/2010 10:28:02 AM

AQuietSimpleMan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I agree domi, we should all just be people.

Tis true, my child.....Your great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, grandchildren will be able to recite D.G. 24:13 by heart.

Yeah Right Domi, you know the world ends in 2012.

SO she might be able to pop out one maybe 2 kids tops before we all cease to exist.

You getter get fucking.

QSM

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RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/22/2010 10:54:10 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

what does the word submissive mean to you?

The word "submissive" means a person who yields to my direction. In that sense, I can understand the people who say "that isn't a submissive way to act" or "that isn't a submissive thing to say"... what they're actually saying is "that behavior isn't yielding, in my opinion", and that is completely accurate.

I think that the issue here isn't the definition of "submissive", which, to me, is pretty straightforward -- it is the EXPECTATION that an individual who perceives hirself as -generally- a submissively-inclined person should -automatically- be expected to be submissive to any bossy so-and-so who comes down the pike.

Submissive Individual: "I am seeking someone with whom I can be a partner, not just a blow-up doll."
Dominant Individual: "If I tell you to be a blow up doll or do whatever, you'll do it because I told you to."
Submissive Individual: "I don't think we're compatible."
Submissive Individual: "That's not a submissive thing to say. You're not a "real" submissive."

In the same way, as a generally -dominant- individual, there are the accusations that someone who treats those who yield to hir with a measure of dignity, and who acknowledges that an individual's yielding of authority may not last forever somehow isn't "dominant"... commentary that also comes from individuals who call themselves 'submissive', but who get nasty when told that what they -demand- in their emails, etc., isn't something that the dominant individual in question is willing to do... for example

Submissive individual: "I want to be your toilet and have you drop merde and expel gas in my face."
Dominant individual: "I don't do that kind of play"
Submissive individual: "You're not a 'real' dominant or you'd do that!"

Shyeah... right...

It isn't the definition of the words that is in question -- it is the attitudes of the questioners and how we behave when seeking out acceptable companions. I am sure that there is someone out there who wants to be treated like a lowly worm when seeking out a partner -- I get emails from them on a pretty regular basis... it's just annoying to hear such statements made as if they're the absolute truth, when really, they're just one possible perspective.

Calla

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RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/22/2010 11:45:54 AM

heartcream

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

Yeah Right Domi, you know the world ends in 2012.

SO she might be able to pop out one maybe 2 kids tops before we all cease to exist.

You getter get fucking.

QSM

You are kidding right? The world wont end, some stupid shit might cease to exist but not the world.

Personally I am not a fan of labels at all and all the 'this is not submissive or that is not' is simply dense consciousness in my opinion.

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RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/22/2010 12:10:57 PM

Inthewoods

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KariCloud and I have a lot in common. Every word rings true for me.

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RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? - 6/22/2010 12:35:39 PM

cassandria

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I really love the way that KariCloud expressed herself here. Every word rang true for me as well...

quote:

No matter what my natural personality type is, as an adult I am responsible for myself. Therefore, it is up to me to make sure I am healthy, that my needs are met, that I get my desires met too for the most part, that people don't take advantage of me. Acting on my natural impulses would NOT be a mature, responsible, adult thing to do 99% of the time. So for me, part of growing up involved learning to interact with the world in ways that are not natural to me. I would suspect that those who are submissive personality types who are not doormats probably went through something similar.

I did. Am. For me, it's a constant struggle to remember, to keep it in the forefront of my mind that my natural impulses are NOT beneficial to me in this world. And to suppress them.

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