Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (Full Version)

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Sleeper233 -> Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 4:30:42 PM)

I'm very new to this site and just fell for an elaborate scam. I was stupid and ignored my instincts out of a strong sense of false hope. However, if this saves others from making a stupid mistake and thus denies this con artist his/her money, than I'll feel a small measure of comfort.

Please note that as per the policy of this site, I will not name this user. I suspect it wouldn't be much good anyway as I'm sure somone so cunning has multiple accounts. I hope this policy doesn't extend to general tactics. If Collarme.com cares about it's users, it will keep this post up.

Men, beware of the following;

Solicitation from a dominant, apparently attractive woman who contacts you about a possible slave/partner position. In this message, she will direct you to another website having an ad for this position including detailed instructions of the sort of message she requires. If you write her, she will return your message indicating that your reply was far more intelligent than most of the replies she receives (this fooled me, as my reply was quite detailed & well written & so I thought it was a true comment).

She will ask you to describe yourself, your fantasies and to then provide her with a picture. After she said my pics were fine, I felt very relived but this was just another trick. I don't she/him even looked at them in retrospect.

It is at this stage, on the 3rd or 4th message, that she/he moves in for the kill.

She will say that she needs to know that you're geniune, honest and not a fake "online masturbater" - and thus, you need to give her a gift. She will even say that I realize this sounds sketchy & could turn you off, but that it is a test to see if you're "real". The self-awareness of this remark fooled me.

Other things to note, she does NOT show her face in the photos provided even though it appears to be the same person. The website she directs you to appears completely real but if you do some google searching using the name of the website she sends you, you'll find many others have been taken in or almost taken in by this game

I was very, very stupid in retrospect. My mind screamed "no" but I was desperate and lonely that I choose to believe the lie... I'm sure I'm not alone and that others will fall victim to this elaborate ruse.

My mission on this site is no longer to meet anyone but to expose this person for the fraud that they are.




VaguelyCurious -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 4:36:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sleeper233

I don't deserve to be subjected to such treatment. None of us do
Frankly, I disagree. You're an adult, you've a fully functioning brain and you gave that money of your own free will because you chose not to engage it.

I don't have much sympathy, I'm afraid.



laurell3 -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 4:36:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sleeper233


My mission on this site is no longer to meet anyone but to expose this person for the fraud that they are.



You should know you are like the 2,462,954 person to post this garbage here. I'm sorry you got taken. If you choose to make your life about bitterness then bitterness is all you will have. Shit happens. Let it go. Move on, find someone and enjoy life.



Sleeper233 -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 4:43:58 PM)

Why shouldn't I at least warn people of this scam?

Yes it was stupid of me, one of the stupidest things I've done in a long, long time. I know that but why should people on this site, especially really, really recent people such as myself who aren't as familiar with this scene as many of the users on this board, put up with such outright fraud?

As I indicated in a journal post, it was an act of faith on my part since it spoke to me when I was vulnerable, lonely, willing to take a chance & looking for some excitement. That's not to say I wasn't responsible for my actions, I was but I made that decision not knowing all the facts - and that is what this boils down to - not having all the facts.

I don't want sympathy, I don't deserve for being so stupid but people on this site shouldn't have to deal with outright con-artists. There should be some standards of deceny, even on this site.

That's why I wrote this post, to give people all the facts, facts that I wasn't aware of until it was too late, so that hopefully they can make a different choice. I don't see how that is wrong.



LadyAngelika -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 4:46:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sleeper233

I don't deserve to be subjected to such treatment. None of us do
Frankly, I disagree. You're an adult, you've a fully functioning brain and you gave that money of your own free will because you chose not to engage it.

I don't have much sympathy, I'm afraid.



My sentiments exactly. This is 2010. We have had at least a decade of headlines on Internet scams. Unless you were living under a rock in the last 10 years, you should have been aware of the risks.

Chalk it up to a lesson learned and focus on meeting real women, not getting off online. Word of caution, from what I've seen, most online domination is a scam. There are very few who are authentic.

- LA



LadyAngelika -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 4:48:42 PM)

quote:

Why shouldn't I at least warn people of this scam?


Because Collarme.com has a no blacklisting policy. And the reason they have this is to avoid people's reputations to be ruined by false accusations and misunderstandings.

People usually only need to get caught in a scam once. That will be their warning.

- LA



laurell3 -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 4:51:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sleeper233

Why shouldn't I at least warn people of this scam?

Yes it was stupid of me, one of the stupidest things I've done in a long, long time. I know that but why should people on this site, especially really, really recent people such as myself who aren't as familiar with this scene as many of the users on this board, put up with such outright fraud?

As I indicated in a journal post, it was an act of faith on my part since it spoke to me when I was vulnerable, lonely, willing to take a chance & looking for some excitement. That's not to say I wasn't responsible for my actions, I was but I made that decision not knowing all the facts - and that is what this boils down to - not having all the facts.

I don't want sympathy, I don't deserve for being so stupid but people on this site shouldn't have to deal with outright con-artists. There should be some standards of deceny, even on this site.

That's why I wrote this post, to give people all the facts, facts that I wasn't aware of until it was too late, so that hopefully they can make a different choice. I don't see how that is wrong.



You're going to single-handedly end fraud on the internet? Come on. Let it go. There are crappy people everywhere in life. You cannot change that, what you can do is focus on the good and keep the uncrappy (haha) people all that much closer to you and cherished because of it.

You're not educating US, we know this...we're the ones that get it. End the crusade, realize YOU messed up by falling for it, forgive yourself and move on.



Sleeper233 -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 4:52:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sleeper233

I don't deserve to be subjected to such treatment. None of us do
Frankly, I disagree. You're an adult, you've a fully functioning brain and you gave that money of your own free will because you chose not to engage it.

I don't have much sympathy, I'm afraid.



My sentiments exactly. This is 2010. We have had at least a decade of headlines on Internet scams. Unless you were living under a rock in the last 10 years, you should have been aware of the risks.

Chalk it up to a lesson learned and focus on meeting real women, not getting off online. Word of caution, from what I've seen, most online domination is a scam. There are very few who are authentic.

- LA



I think you're right in that online domination is bullshit. I seriously question the effectiveness of this site.

I know I opened myself up to charges of stupidity and naviety with this post, deservedly so. God knows that if I were on the other end I'd be dismissive too, hell I have been in similar situations.

Laurell3, I'm not trying to end fraud on the internet, just alert some to a particular fraudulent scam presently being perpetrated on this website. The con artist will probably have further naive marks but if I can deny 1 or 2, it will be worth it.



laurell3 -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 4:52:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

Why shouldn't I at least warn people of this scam?


Because Collarme.com has a no blacklisting policy. And the reason they have this is to avoid people's reputations to be ruined by false accusations and misunderstandings.

People usually only need to get caught in a scam once. That will be their warning.

- LA


The OP's post made it very clear he was following that policy. He's talking about educating people to the risks.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 4:54:20 PM)

I am sorry that you fell for a scam. Don't do it anymore. In the meantime, report that profile directly to Support, and let the staff here to their thing.



submissivemale22 -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 4:55:42 PM)

i get solicited by fakes way more than real people. not necessarily scams, but people (probably men) recruiting for porn sites. being submissive, their type of porn does nothing for me, but every so often if i really believe they are female/have a hard life, i will join or send some money.



Sleeper233 -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 4:57:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I am sorry that you fell for a scam. Don't do it anymore. In the meantime, report that profile directly to Support, and let the staff here to their thing.


Thanks LadyHibiscus, I will do that. It's probably a more effective tactic than simply hoping someone stumbles along this post in time.



Lockit -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 5:04:14 PM)

I tried to warn you before you started a thread. You knew it was wrong to do. You knew why you fell for it. The answer is in you, not warning the world. You can't change the need you had that made it so you fell for it until you are ready to address it all. You can't change other people who will know deep inside it is wrong and yet do it anyway.

The problem really isn't the scammers, but those who ignore common sense, dream of adult candy canes and lollipops and don't address some personal accountability. You are as guilty as the scammer. To top it off, you are announcing to the world... all of this.

Good luck with that.



LadyAngelika -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 5:06:38 PM)

quote:

I think you're right in that online domination is bullshit.

Good. And for the record, it sucks you got scammed. I came across a bit harsh, but I guess I'm pretty anti-blackballing.

quote:

I seriously question the effectiveness of this site.


I don't. I've met awesome people here in the last 6 years. That said, I've never exchanged any money with anyone here. Only good times! I think that's the purpose of the site.

- LA



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 5:06:49 PM)

I don't get it, Lockit. I happens SO often to men who genuinely have common sense in other areas!



MissAsylum -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 5:08:47 PM)

i have no sympathy.

NONE.

they even have on the site before you send a message a SCAM warning.

you ignored it. your fault.

unfortunately- the same post will be up in 3 or 4 days.



Lockit -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 5:10:29 PM)

LH,

Take your pick...

Hardened cock
Romantic ideals
Porn fantasy
Blackmail fantasy
Lying to themselves
Comfort in the role of victim... shall I go on? lol All I know is they never go down quietly!



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 5:13:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

LH,

Take your pick...

Hardened cock
Romantic ideals
Porn fantasy
Blackmail fantasy
Lying to themselves
Comfort in the role of victim... shall I go on? lol All I know is they never go down quietly!




That one should be closer to the top of the list!



Sleeper233 -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 5:20:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

i have no sympathy.

NONE.

they even have on the site before you send a message a SCAM warning.

you ignored it. your fault.

unfortunately- the same post will be up in 3 or 4 days.


Fine, I didn't ask for any sympathy, as I stated in a previous post. I don't know why some of you aren't getting that.

I beat the shit out of myself verbally over this and I'll be the first to admit that I was stupid. So why did I bother with this post, to alert people to a far more elaborate scam than the kind the warnings addressed - I am simply calling attention to this fact & I frankly don't give two shits how it makes me look going forward because I don't plan on using this site ever again.

Not everyone is savvy when it comes to this sort of thing & I frankly don't see why people have a problem with this sort of post & I couldn't care less how often you see such posts - the very fact that such posts are so common is troubling.





angelikaJ -> RE: Fake Domme & Tactics of a Con: A cautionary (6/25/2010 5:23:04 PM)

None of this is intended to make you feel bad but when you reply to a message there is a caution at the top of the box that reads:

DO NOT SEND MONEY TO OTHER USERS FOR ANY REASON!
 
Below the caution it provides you with a link about common scams.

I am very sorry that you got taken. Loneliness is a powerful motivator to override common sense.
At some point, you will realise that the lesson you got was given at a bargain.

You might find some good information here:
Ask a Mistress - FAQ 

If what you are seeking is a partner, then take your time in getting to know the person.
A relationship is after all a relationship.

Best wishes.

edit: format/spelling



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