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Serving - 6/29/2010 2:25:14 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

I view "Serving" to be a hell of a lot more besides "suffering" or "fuckmeat", I don't readily equate these things on the same level. Then again, I don't find mere "Whipping Posts" all that useful in the broadest sense. Nor somebody who's only service is that of being "Fuck Meat".

I've seen things posted on profiles and such, where I find myself shaking my head and mumbling to myself "you have no idea in Hell what it's like to completely Serve somebody else". I tend to wonder how functional these people are in day to day life.

Seriously, in many regards I feel that well rounded vanillas with slight kinks, would be of better overall service. compared to extremely limited slaves, that are the true Epitome of being "Worthless".

I'm sorry, but I can't wrap my mind around the value of having a worthless human being in my life, in any capacity.

Worse yet, It's almost fucking laughable (for me that is) to read these same people express wanting a "true Master" or "true Mistress".

This thread is in part a spin-off of the "Image that is Given" thread along with "Intolerance and judgementalism in the Lifestyle" thread.

I just keep seeing stuff that looks like "Disney World" and "Fantasy Land" combined, or along the lines of "The Story of O" (or Ohhh Noooo).

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 6/29/2010 2:28:28 PM >

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Post #: 1

RE: Serving - 6/29/2010 2:34:53 PM

DarlingSavage

Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
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The Story of Oh NOOOOOOOOO! LOL!

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<-- Easily impressed.

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(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 2

RE: Serving - 6/29/2010 4:39:06 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

My journal is like that. But its just some old dreams of mine. Wank fodder.

In real life, I yam what I yam. Its important to know the difference. I think those over-the-top profile you're seeing are just people's sweet dreams. It doesn't necessarily mean they want to or will, bring them to fruition. If they are really like that realtime, then yeah they may be seriously clueless. Real life intrudes upon the dream.

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(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 3

RE: Serving - 6/29/2010 4:46:17 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I think that the word service is a subjective thing. What I may think serving is, you may not find all that serviceable... Someone may think that the fuckmeat is there to service certain needs they have... for you it would not work.

I do know what it is like to be completely at the service of another out of devotion. I think most people do know what that is like as a matter of fact. I do not think of the term "service" as being a D/s thing.. and i think dominants can be of service to their submissives. I also think that some vanilla relationships epitomize this concept as dearly as anything you will find in this lifestyle...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 4

RE: Serving - 6/29/2010 5:17:11 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

I think the thing that distinguishes 'service' from what you were describing, Whip, is focus. You see, to me, someone who chooses to be "in service" or to "serve" will be more interested in what -I- consider "service" than any pre-conceived ideas that xhe had about how xhe would "serve". To you, it doesn't seem like 'service', but I know a couple of people for whom much of what you described would be on the list of "this is what it means to be 'in service' to me."

That being said, service is a challenging mindset, and it really requires getting to know the person one is serving. While the focus around here tends to deal more with the kinky side of life, service doesn't necessarily have -anything- to do with kink. Frankly, it's the biggest difficulty I have when vetting new potential servants -- our household here in TX has a pretty low "kink" factor, even though House Bladewing, as a whole, can get into some pretty outre stuff. Because of the idea that many potential servants have that everything is going to be "high kink" all the time, there is a bit of frustration for many of them during their early training, when their 'service' tends to focus on things like meal service, or personal care, or even scullery service.

I have to really work to explain how I see service to those who are canalized to the "high kink" fantasies. In the end, it caused me to start seeking out servants to meet much of my day-to-day service needs outside of the BDSM realm. To that end, I have an -awesome- admin person, with whom I have a satisfactory arrangement for both of us. Xhe serves me -impeccably- in the things I need hir to do... but xhe's not involved in the House at all. Xhe's my assistant for my editorial freelancing. That being said, xhe gives GREAT "service". I don't need to worry about where the hard-copies of my current projects are, or whether all their pieces are together. I don't need to worry about whether or not my regulatory paperwork has been filled out and filed... xhe makes sure what I need is where I need it, when I need it to be there -- and makes sure that I am politely reminded of where -I- need to be, when I need to be there so that the work I've done takes the limelight, rather than my late behind... and xhe does it all seamlessly and nearly invisibly. For me, most days, THAT is service.

An individual who wants to "serve" me by getting f*cked or licking my feet or expecting me to expel gas on hir face, when that is the ONLY perspective from which they want to offer to 'serve' me -- that's not service -to me-... it's only service if the recipient finds it to be service. In my mind, half of that stuff (which is what 90% of the emails I get offer to serve me doing) I have little or no interest in... I don't consider them service. On a good day, I consider getting laid to be play, getting to play with my feet to be a REWARD for good service done, and the last one I won't even distinguish with discussion, as I find it... well... inappropriate behavior for the person I prefer to be. It's great if everyone has the time and inclination for it, but for the sake of quiet Havens, don't advertise oneself as a "service slave" if one's idea of 'service' isn't focused, first, on how the -recipient- sees "service".

I'd also like to say that I really don't have an issue with the folks who will serve me, doing what I need or want to have done, in exchange for having their "fetish" addressed... as long as it is a fetish that I don't mind participating in. To me, it is 'fair trade' for me to provide reward and recompense for service well rendered. All of this becomes part of the negotiation and the discussion, and becomes part of the aspect of nurturing the budding service relationship.

Calla

_____________________________

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(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 5

RE: Serving - 6/29/2010 5:42:58 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

Calla, I agree. When I was dating my former Master, we discussed in detail what his expectations of me were, how he defined submission vs. slavery, areas he envisioned controlling at the beginning of the relationship (knowing that is subject to change over time). If I accepted someone as my submissive or slave, I wouldn't consider most of the kink aspects to be service, although there might be some things they did because I wanted it, so that would still be an expression of submission.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 6

RE: Serving - 6/29/2010 6:52:55 PM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

I did have one sub whose interest was "suffering for me" and i admit i enjoyed the sessions even though i wouldn't probably want to have him in my life any other way. Always nice to have one you don;t even have to undress for now and again :)

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(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 7

RE: Serving - 6/29/2010 6:59:43 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

folks exit who don't so much serve another as "serve" their relationship...each from their own perspective/role.

everything else, from fuckmeat to loveslave is merely details.

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 8

RE: Serving - 6/29/2010 7:07:43 PM

marie2

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I think that the word service is a subjective thing. What I may think serving is, you may not find all that serviceable... Someone may think that the fuckmeat is there to service certain needs they have... for you it would not work.

I do know what it is like to be completely at the service of another out of devotion. I think most people do know what that is like as a matter of fact. I do not think of the term "service" as being a D/s thing.. and i think dominants can be of service to their submissives. I also think that some vanilla relationships epitomize this concept as dearly as anything you will find in this lifestyle...

This.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 9

RE: Serving - 6/29/2010 7:19:13 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

folks exit who don't so much serve another as "serve" their relationship...each from their own perspective/role.

everything else, from fuckmeat to loveslave is merely details.

This. (emphasis added)

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 6/29/2010 8:09:29 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 10

RE: Serving - 6/29/2010 9:23:49 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Serving in my terms and home means serving the home in all respects as do both Neets and I each in our own way so it matures and grows and still remains what it was set up to be.. Our Victorian Home.

We only look at service slaves - Domestic servants of you prefer which is after all the more correct terminology and leave little for "wank fodder" material. Besides domestic duties a slave may engage in SM or sex play if this is within the usage terms of agreement. Home inspections by my self are random and aye I may well be wearing a white glove to test for dust, silver inspected fror blemishes or not polished. Woe betide said servant in my coffee isn't ready when I arise (unless I do so very early ere the house is awake) and my toiletaries not ready for me to use ere I shower and make ready for the day. On formal occasions thge service of refreshments and table sertvice (full silver service) better be top notch or I will know why.

I neither expect or demand much, just staff to comply with the rules and requirements of service in our collar.

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(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 11

RE: Serving - 6/29/2010 11:07:26 PM

patina

Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline

i consider myself a slave, one who is to serve her owner in all ways, He decides what , how, when, and where i will serve. If sex is involved i myself consider it a pleasure a perk. If kink is invoilved again it is a perk. These too are to his descretion.

At the begning we discussed the kinds of things we both felt should be covered. All domestic duties, inside the house; cooking, cleaning, laundry, vacumingi will do being adjusted to fit his desires, menue and decor to be approved by him. All outside work i am willing to help with but have difficulties in certain areas.

Am allergic to grass so can not cut it. i am allergic to the stems of the green bean plant, i can do everything string, shell and freeze them then i must wash and change clothes, but am unable to go into a garden and pick them unless you want me covered in hives. i can put up corn, and fruit, i can do a lot of other physical things such as paint a room, fix the broken cords of items, lamps, toasters.
If need be i can split wood, it will take me a long time but i can do so.

So my service can cover a wide variety of things. in the kink area i am open to a lot, but due to medical some things are out, needles, and knives. i am not willing to do other things but that is no interest here.

But this is just mho and what my owner and i have set up so far. Things may change when i join him and become collared if and/or when.

patina

a humble slave

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a diamond in the rough

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 12

RE: Serving - 6/30/2010 2:54:05 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

I view "Serving" to be a hell of a lot more besides "suffering" or "fuckmeat", I don't readily equate these things on the same level. Then again, I don't find mere "Whipping Posts" all that useful in the broadest sense. Nor somebody who's only service is that of being "Fuck Meat".

I've seen things posted on profiles and such, where I find myself shaking my head and mumbling to myself "you have no idea in Hell what it's like to completely Serve somebody else". I tend to wonder how functional these people are in day to day life.

Seriously, in many regards I feel that well rounded vanillas with slight kinks, would be of better overall service. compared to extremely limited slaves, that are the true Epitome of being "Worthless".

I'm sorry, but I can't wrap my mind around the value of having a worthless human being in my life, in any capacity.

Worse yet, It's almost fucking laughable (for me that is) to read these same people express wanting a "true Master" or "true Mistress".

This thread is in part a spin-off of the "Image that is Given" thread along with "Intolerance and judgementalism in the Lifestyle" thread.

I just keep seeing stuff that looks like "Disney World" and "Fantasy Land" combined, or along the lines of "The Story of O" (or Ohhh Noooo).

I don't think I read the threads you referenced so may be off base with this response, but my service is determined by his needs and whims and they do pertain to M/s. I don't consider it service to him that I do laundry, wash the dishes, sweep & mop, scrub toilets etc. because those are all things I would do no matter where I lived, with whom I lived or if I lived alone. Toilets don't scrub themselves after all. Things that I would not normally do would be a unique service to *him*. I would iron my husband clothes just because they were wrinkled and he was my husband. I'm domestic in a 50's sort of way in that regard. I would make meals he likes, get him something cold to drink and other stuff like that.. none of which I consider service in an M/s sense just a wife who loves her husband and likes to help make his life a little easier as he works so hard at a high-level stressful job.

It's those things that I would not do for a husband but will do for my Master which make the difference between any M/s service (which in my mind automatically couples with obedience) and being one half of our relationship team in other respects. Most of those things are going to do with sex, play, blood, tears and power. It's just the way service works out around these parts because he doesn't have to ask me to do what I do naturally as his loving partner. If my husband told me to go change my clothes for a night out, I would probably look cross-eyed at him and wear what the hell I felt like wearing. If my Master told me to go change for a night out, he's gonna get a "Yes, Sir" and a request from me if he has a preference as to what I should wear.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 13

RE: Serving - 6/30/2010 4:29:59 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

I asked Signore Wonderful about what he would consider service to him, would he expect me to clean and such. His reply was basically - why would I have you clean my house when there are so many more wonderful things you could do for me - have dinner, watch a movie, even have a conversation. (ok, he added a couple of other private things...) "I can hire someone to clean. I can't hire someone to make me feel good and make me laugh." That was sweet.

He showed me how he likes his clothes folded and how he likes his morning coffee (espresso) and a few other things. I learned them, enjoyed doing those things for him. But to me that was more about having a relationship than it was about any roles. Service is about people rather than roles.

(Mind you, I still got an Italian cookbook and started learning to speak a bit of his language.)

best,
sunshine

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(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 14

RE: Serving - 6/30/2010 4:49:41 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

its another one of those things where misconception rubs shoulders with the way it is. its a parrallel universe - according to stephen hawkin there are lots of them

..

< Message edited by lally2 -- 6/30/2010 4:50:25 AM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 15

RE: Serving - 6/30/2010 4:55:03 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I view "Serving" to be a hell of a lot more besides "suffering" or "fuckmeat", I don't readily equate these things on the same level. Then again, I don't find mere "Whipping Posts" all that useful in the broadest sense. Nor somebody who's only service is that of being "Fuck Meat".

I've seen things posted on profiles and such, where I find myself shaking my head and mumbling to myself "you have no idea in Hell what it's like to completely Serve somebody else". I tend to wonder how functional these people are in day to day life.

Seriously, in many regards I feel that well rounded vanillas with slight kinks, would be of better overall service. compared to extremely limited slaves, that are the true Epitome of being "Worthless".

I'm sorry, but I can't wrap my mind around the value of having a worthless human being in my life, in any capacity.

Worse yet, It's almost fucking laughable (for me that is) to read these same people express wanting a "true Master" or "true Mistress".

This thread is in part a spin-off of the "Image that is Given" thread along with "Intolerance and judgementalism in the Lifestyle" thread.

I just keep seeing stuff that looks like "Disney World" and "Fantasy Land" combined, or along the lines of "The Story of O" (or Ohhh Noooo).

Whip

Very well said and a mirrow of my thoughts!

CP

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 16

RE: Serving - 6/30/2010 4:56:33 AM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

If my husband told me to go change my clothes for a night out, I would probably look cross-eyed at him and wear what the hell I felt like wearing. If my Master told me to go change for a night out, he's gonna get a "Yes, Sir" and a request from me if he has a preference as to what I should wear.

To me, this is the difference between being "of service" verses "in service".

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 17

RE: Serving - 6/30/2010 5:04:47 AM

heartcream

Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline

Um yeah service, uh huh interesting OP, lots of food for thought...

OP you say this is spin off of the Image that is Given thread but I thought it was a spin off of the image that was given in another thread. Where are more ("morrrre" said like a cat meowing) pictures?

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"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
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(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Post #: 18

RE: Serving - 6/30/2010 5:08:40 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

hahahaha...poor Whip's become a sex object! Wait is that even objectionable for men?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to heartcream)

Post #: 19

RE: Serving - 6/30/2010 5:25:03 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

hahahaha...poor Whip's become a sex object! Wait is that even objectionable for men?

frankly im amazed he has any time for us now - after that pic, every available sub in the area must be setting up camp outside his door

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 20

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