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RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 5:54:17 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

Don't beat yourself up.

Take a walk, have a good cry, do something nice and kind for yourself, and then when you're ready pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and go out there again, hopefully a little smarter and a little wiser, and pick someone who's deserving of you and what you're offering.

... out of the mouths of babes...

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Post #: 21

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 5:55:10 PM

UniqueRaven

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
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As submissive women, we often tend to blame ourselves first when something goes south in a D/s or M/s relationship - it's that whole "failing to please" thing.

Don't beat yourself up. Over time as your feelings calm you'll see the facts of what happened - and learn from them.

Chalk this one up to learning - and smile, and be ready for the next one.

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Post #: 22

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 6:00:52 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

whats worse is its my fault.

i pushed til he snapped
its all my fault

First...it is NOT all your fault.

Secondly...what jumps out at me is "i pushed til he snapped". Is it possible that you subconsciously recognized this as a detrememtal, unhealthy relationship but for whatever reason, could not end it on your own, so you pushed?
If that is the case, being away from him is the best thing that could have possibly happened.

I know how much it hurts. You have support here.

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Post #: 23

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 6:12:23 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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BHY, I'd like to suggest that you try on a new, improved screen name. One that reflects your true self, in a better manner. I think you're in the beginning stages of a journey of discovery of your own worth, and how to value and truly LOVE yourself for who you are. In short: Many of your actions, and a lot of the things you say, are the kinds of things someone with low self-esteem would do and say. If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck... It might be a freakin' duck....

But you are beginning to pull yourself up out of the chasm. You are beginning to be able to value and truly adore yourself properly, for the wonderful person you are. It won't happen overnight, but it sure as hell will be a lot smoother and more enjoyable of a journey when you don't have some jerk messing it up for you.

*Edited for clarity

< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 7/1/2010 6:15:21 PM >

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Post #: 24

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 6:14:38 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElizabethAnne

Hello,

I'm glad to see you taking the responsibility for what you did wrong. Too many people don't, and always want to blame someone else. You admitted you misbehaved, you've admitted it's your fault, you've admitted you pushed him to where he snapped, it shows real maturity to own up to what you did, good for you. Hell no one likes to fail, now - pick yourself up, learn from it, go on.

Take care,

Elizabeth

Honestly, have you any clue about the situation or just taking what she said at face value? She had another thread where there was some explanation as to what was going on. If you read some of the posts here, you know that most of us responding have read and most likely posted to that thread. Perhaps you should catch up here.

Owned but not collared...WTH?

It would appear that you didn't, so you are taking what she said at face value, and making an assumption that just because she believes it is her fault, it IS her fault.

That would be a WRONG assumption in this case. Even if you were to have read some of the comments posted here, you would see there is a bit more to the story than merely her OP here, so way to kick someone when they are down.

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Post #: 25

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 6:17:09 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

First...it is NOT all your fault.

Secondly...what jumps out at me is "i pushed til he snapped". Is it possible that you subconsciously recognized this as a detrememtal, unhealthy relationship but for whatever reason, could not end it on your own, so you pushed?If that is the case, being away from him is the best thing that could have possibly happened.

I know how much it hurts. You have support here.

That is a really interesting concept. I'm sorry I didn't think of it first, lol. It is so true that sometimes when we don't have the "guts" do do something, we will intentionally sabatoge it. Christ, look how many men do stupid stuff to intentionally make a woman dump them because they can't man up and do it.

Great point Holly

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Post #: 26

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 6:20:52 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

BHY, I'd like to suggest that you try on a new, improved screen name. One that reflects your true self, in a better manner. I think you're in the beginning stages of a journey of discovery of your own worth, and how to value and truly LOVE yourself for who you are. In short: Many of your actions, and a lot of the things you say, are the kinds of things someone with low self-esteem would do and say. If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck... It might be a freakin' duck....

But you are beginning to pull yourself up out of the chasm. You are beginning to be able to value and truly adore yourself properly, for the wonderful person you are. It won't happen overnight, but it sure as hell will be a lot smoother and more enjoyable of a journey when you don't have some jerk messing it up for you.

*Edited for clarity

That's a great idea, something new and positive, a fresh start!

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Post #: 27

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 6:23:04 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
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Sorry Elizabeth but you are way off base. I can see that you aren't aware of the history here, in this case it was 100% his fault. Taken at face value it may appear that she is to blame but that really isn't the case.

Zeph

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Post #: 28

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 6:23:43 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

everyone (mostly) here has been so kind to me......

i wanted say thank you to all of you who in the last few days showed me what community is all about.

i obviously haven't learned the things i needed to ....to maintain my slavery.

i'm in shambles. i'll be ok....He was just unhappy with me....and i was too headstrong.
i wish i could start over.

You do get to start over. And now you know a lot more about YOU than you did before. Just live life, and smile a lot.

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Post #: 29

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 6:27:00 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

but i cant quit these crying jags.
i know ill be fine but ouch it really really hurts.

whats worse is its my fault.

i pushed til he snapped
its all my fault

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::THWAP:::::::::::::::::::::::

It is never only one persons fault. Damn, thwapping feels kinda good don't it?

best, give your self a break, cause no one else will-lol.

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Post #: 30

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 6:51:50 PM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
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there were issues i had....neediness,clinging.....i truly probably freaked him out sometime.

i will be ok ....

i own alot of responsibility in this.....for signing on as slave.....when im much more a traditional subbie.

but i fell like a tree.....and just as hard.

theres no off switch.

if we could step off and start over knowing what i know now.....ya never know.

i need to sleep.....that hasnt happened much this week either

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Post #: 31

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 7:04:23 PM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
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i will take nominations for a new nickname in my inbox!!!!

hugs

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Post #: 32

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 7:07:15 PM

ElizabethAnne

Posts: 1751
Status: offline

Hello Lafayette,

Quite honestly NO one but the two of them know the entire story of their relationship. She admitted she was wrong, she misbehaved, for that she is to be commended. What I have seen over and over on the boards, is usually only one side of the story is played out. The other person doesn't comment, or says little. And in almost every case, the person wanting validation for x type behavior. And sure enough there are plenty of people to come along and pat someone on the hand, and tell them how awful her Master behaved, and how she didn't deserve to be treated like that. When in fact, unless a person is there and knows first hand, all that is known is one side.

I am sure you have heard it said, there are three sides to every story, his - hers and the truth, which lays somewhere in the middle. As far as taking her at her word.....would there be a reason not to believe her?

Elizabeth

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Post #: 33

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 7:09:14 PM

ElizabethAnne

Posts: 1751
Status: offline

Zephry,

In a relationship seldom is one person 100% at fault. Life doesn't work that way. And in this case, I doubt she is 100% at fault, I doubt he is 100% at fault. She has simply acknowledged responsibility for herself and her mistakes. That is why I gave her kudos.

Elizabeth

< Message edited by ElizabethAnne -- 7/1/2010 7:12:49 PM >

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Post #: 34

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 7:13:14 PM

Ligeia72

Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
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I have nothing in the way of comments, observations or advice - OP, I just wanted to wish you peace and happiness for the future, and in whatever it is you do.

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Post #: 35

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 7:15:50 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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She's available?!?!? Woohoo!!!!

Male Doms, form two lines. No shoving. I'm the organizer so I get to go FIRST.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

i will take nominations for a new nickname in my inbox!!!!

hugs

"DarkSteven's subbie"

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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Post #: 36

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 7:17:12 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

She's available?!?!? Woohoo!!!!

Male Doms, form two lines. No shoving. I'm the organizer so I get to go FIRST.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

i will take nominations for a new nickname in my inbox!!!!

hugs

"DarkSteven's subbie"

or "SheWhoStillCan'tGetACookie"?

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Post #: 37

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 7:20:35 PM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

"SheWhoStillCan'tGetACookie"?

Damn. I may need to rethink this relationship with my new girl, DarkSteven's subbie. I expect full obedience, and that DOES include cookie relinquishment.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Post #: 38

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 7:23:24 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

"SheWhoStillCan'tGetACookie"?

Damn. I may need to rethink this relationship with my new girl, DarkSteven's subbie. I expect full obedience, and that DOES include cookie relinquishment.

Steven..relinquishment of cookies may be a hard limit for some of us subblie wimmins.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

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Post #: 39

RE: thanks - 7/1/2010 7:42:49 PM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
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with darksteven there are COOOOOOOOOOKIES??????

ive been on a diet for 7 weeks!!!!

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIE!

lol just kidding......im staying on my diet but ill take some crumbs!

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Post #: 40