RE: Whats the point of the BDSM scene?

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RE: Whats the point of the BDSM scene? - 7/2/2010 4:59:56 PM

gedienstig

Posts: 155
Joined: 5/9/2010
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Never mind me saying that. I've never been good in terminology.

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RE: Whats the point of the BDSM scene? - 7/2/2010 8:22:49 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
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quote:

ORIGINAL: whiteboi916

I'm thinking that my best bet is to try and involve myself in the local scene in person (realtime) cos this internet thing just seems a waste of my time.

Bingo!!!!! You answered your own question.

The internet is a diversion. Real-life is your friend.

I've found that people on the internet can sometimes be rude, crude, obnoxious, aggressive, disrespectful, bullying, etc. But I almost never see those behaviors in real-life. That's because the anonymity of the internet somehow encourages people to behave in way that they would NEVER behave in real life.

So while I understand your frustration about what you feel is "rude" behavior on the internet, get used to it. It's just a reality of the internet, and complaining about it isn't going to make it go away. But going to a munch or play party and meeting "real" people WILL make the behavior go away.

(BTW, I'm not saying that the internet is a waste of time. It can be quite enjoyable if you enter with the proper expectations).

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 7/2/2010 8:23:48 PM >

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RE: Whats the point of the BDSM scene? - 7/3/2010 11:59:45 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
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LadyPact,

quote:

My Dear elannnnnnnnnn, said in the sweetest, almost singing tone that I have. I didn't want you to think that I missed this. Just a reminder that My memory is long. Just when will you be visiting the wine country, dear? The sadist in Me would like to chat with you for a while.

You're a sadist? Really? i had no idea! But, but, but... hmmm. The "wine country" is suddenly looking very inviting. Funny that. Yay for fine vineyards and long memories! Actually, if i do get down your way, it would be lovely to meet, and i don't necessarily mean in a "laying the smack down" kind of way. How long is Your memory again? :-)

E.

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RE: Whats the point of the BDSM scene? - 7/3/2010 12:16:29 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Oh, it's quite long, but if you are ever in the neighborhood, I'm sure lunch would be in order. We can talk about the smack down later.

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RE: Whats the point of the BDSM scene? - 7/3/2010 12:23:27 PM

81song

Posts: 293
Joined: 1/22/2005
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Yes I would have to agree with many here, we are all real people here and respect should come with that. I would add too it does take time for one to understand all this and that takes a lot of reading. So if you send a note to a Domme do NOT come across so strong but say a hello and tell a little bit about yourself. One step at a time, you might make some friends.

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RE: Whats the point of the BDSM scene? - 7/3/2010 12:28:18 PM

heartcream

Posts: 3044
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From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
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If you are like a puppy with boundless energy jumping through 200 hoops might be just the thing you need. I know when my late dog was a puppy she was so full of energy that getting her outside to a place where she could run around like a puppy with boundless energy was the best thing for her. She would sleep for half an hour and be back at it again.

G'head jump through hoops, you will sleep better.

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RE: Whats the point of the BDSM scene? - 7/3/2010 4:07:12 PM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: whiteboi916

Thanks for the encouragement.

Honestly I was ready to give up before I started.

I just wanna become someones bitch and just didnt think Id have to jump through 200 hoops just to get there. I expect to have to jump through hoops when I am someones bitch, just not beforehand!

A lot of us have burnt out, gone into lurker mode and then come back when we were ready. When I was a sub, I used to burn out after talking with a few dozen (won't come up with a word to describe them, lol)...

I have made r/t friends here, and nice sweet guys I spent some time with. It takes time though, and patience. I have some terrible hoops guys have to jump through to get my attention...and most CAN'T or won't even try. Want to see my list?
1) Letters every single day. Good ones that are vanilla, not one liners or ones of things they want me to do to them.
2) Someone sincerely wanting to know who I am as a person, and not just what I can do to them.
3) No chat sex, offers of nakkie web camming, or nakkie pix showing up in my mailbox.
4) Not treating me like I owe it to the world to dominate everyone who asks, when they ask, how they ask...
5) If I lead them toward anything, for their own good (once it was a food diary, and I found out that his IBS was triggered by his favorite raw spinach salad; he listened to me, and took action that helped himself. Romaine was a good substitute) or for learning/education... Are they genuinely willing to follow?

If I can't get them to do these small things for me, then they have nothing to offer that I'd want. I'm not looking for just bedroom kink or a masochist who wants an audience.

Looking for someone is not like going to a tire store and saying, "Gimme one."

If you don't like the hoops you have to jump through, either you are incompatible...or somehow...you don't see her as worth the effort. For all the men who let me know that I wasn't worth the effort...I have burnt out many times. The person you want is unlikely to just show up at your door, introduce herself and tell you she's been combing the earth for you...stay visible, jump through some hoops...and someday, you might find the right one whose hoops you are addicted to jumping through.

Psst...I might have found the one I've been looking for, finally. He's lived less than a hundred miles away from me, and one time, it seems that we actually met each other in passing over ten years ago and...he remembered my voice and the way I talk, and I remembered the distinctive jacket one of them was wearing. He was out somewhere with his buddies. We both remembered the exact place.

If he had not been at CollarMe, I wouldn't have found him.

The "point" of the CollarMe and CollarChat message boards "BDSM scene" is to learn from the mistakes of others through reading so you're less likely to make so many of your own, to be seen, get to know others, make friends, maybe meet up in person, become r/t friends and maybe more. Also, as far as gaining experience...while I was bored and waiting for the right one to come along, ones I was friends with and felt fondness for...ah...we had meetups and I scened with them. It was fun taking newbies from fantasy into r/t, and leave them even more addicted to the lifestyle and wanting more.

If any of this sounds appealing...then you have the answer to your question of...what's the point.

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RE: Whats the point of the BDSM scene? - 7/3/2010 6:45:05 PM

Ladynslave

Posts: 376
Joined: 7/30/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: whiteboi916

Well since this is the "Ask a mistress forum" can someone give me an idea of the types of services that a domme may rightfully expect. I am willing to be a housebitch and do housework, cooking etc.

And yes I will expand my profile, probably have to change my name too

I can't give you an idea what all of them would expect, but I would like someone who can build things. Anything from the lovely and discreet St. Andrews cross I ran across plans for recently to a house, barn, and corrals. I would like someone who enjoys hunting so that not only would my slave have a hunting partner, but the freezer would always be stocked with the elk meat that I love so much. Someone that could build customized trucks. Again, partnering with my current slave to keep up and improve the his and hers mudboggers, and maybe make it his, his, and hers mudboggers. Massage skills are always a plus.

Now, that being said, I would have had the same reaction to being approached with, "Can I be your bitch?" Remember these are women first, never just life support systems for whips and chains. Approach them as you would a vanilla woman. Be respectful and don't throw a title (Mistress, Goddess, etc.) at them unless it's part of their screen name.

I see that you are lucky enough to be in an area of the country that has a larger local scene. The same rules apply there as apply here. Respect, communication, and an open mind.

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