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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

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after yet another thread from a newbie male sub getting frustrated in his search for a fem Domme im wondering at the disparity between what they are looking for and their understanding of the fem Domme as a woman looking for a man as a submissive partner.

what, if any resources are there to help a male sub understand and learn about this and why do you suppose they apparently get it so wrong much of the time.

How come I never see anyone writing that these "dominant" females need resources to help them understand and learn about what the males are looking for?

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please excuse me for asking this, but its just something im a bit curious about.

after yet another thread from a newbie male sub getting frustrated in his search for a fem Domme im wondering at the disparity between what they are looking for and their understanding of the fem Domme as a woman looking for a man as a submissive partner.

what, if any resources are there to help a male sub understand and learn about this and why do you suppose they apparently get it so wrong much of the time.

thank you.

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

Right ... the male subs "get it so wrong", while the frustrated fem Dommes who can't find what they are looking for obviously "get it so right".

It's about time that people start to realize that the disparity works both ways. There are plenty of threads from so-called dominant females who naively expect to get what they want (a guy who is instantly subservient to them in all ways, expecting nothing in return) without having to lift a finger. And the guy is supposed to take the initiative in contacting and courting them as well.

So who's being unrealistic? How come I never see anyone writing that these "dominant" females need resources to help them understand and learn about what the males are looking for?

The truth is that neither of these groups is "wrong", yet both are going to have trouble finding what they want, because there just aren't that many of the opposite sex who fit their criteria. The real problem is that so many people think these poor guys need to be re-educated, and that will solve the problem. That's even more naive than the misguided so-called subs. Understanding what frustrated fem dommes want isn't going to change what frustrated subs want, or vice versa.

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

Right ... the male subs "get it so wrong", while the frustrated fem Dommes who can't find what they are looking for obviously "get it so right".

It's about time that people start to realize that the disparity works both ways. There are plenty of threads from so-called dominant females who naively expect to get what they want (a guy who is instantly subservient to them in all ways, expecting nothing in return) without having to lift a finger. And the guy is supposed to take the initiative in contacting and courting them as well.

So who's being unrealistic? How come I never see anyone writing that these "dominant" females need resources to help them understand and learn about what the males are looking for?

The truth is that neither of these groups is "wrong", yet both are going to have trouble finding what they want, because there just aren't that many of the opposite sex who fit their criteria. The real problem is that so many people think these poor guys need to be re-educated, and that will solve the problem. That's even more naive than the misguided so-called subs. Understanding what frustrated fem dommes want isn't going to change what frustrated subs want, or vice versa.

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ORIGINAL: lally2
what, if any resources are there to help a male sub

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The reality is that if you want something, you make it happen. If you want a certain type of woman, be the kind of man that woman wants. It's really not rocket science.

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub
You're right, it's not rocket science, but you'd think it was, from all the discussion over it. And the comment above still manages to miss the point that I was making.

What people consistently fail to recognize is that the "certain type of woman" the subs in question want may not be the type of dominant woman who typically posts on CM. All this talk about how they have to change their approach, and change themselves, is meaningless if it merely improves their chances to attract someone who doesn't mesh with them anyway.

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

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The reality is that if you want something, you make it happen. If you want a certain type of woman, be the kind of man that woman wants. It's really not rocket science.

You're right, it's not rocket science, but you'd think it was, from all the discussion over it. And the comment above still manages to miss the point that I was making.

What people consistently fail to recognize is that the "certain type of woman" the subs in question want may not be the type of dominant woman who typically posts on CM. All this talk about how they have to change their approach, and change themselves, is meaningless if it merely improves their chances to attract someone who doesn't mesh with them anyway.

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

the "certain type of woman" the subs in question want may not be the type of dominant woman who typically posts on CM.

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Fair enough. However, why on G*d's green earth would these SAME PEOPLE be posting on these boards, whining about not finding that "certain type of woman"

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

Perhaps for the same reason that others post about these people, whining about their whining. Or maybe they're hoping that there are just a few of the "type" they're looking for here.