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Andalusite -> RE: frustrated male subs (7/4/2010 6:19:00 PM)
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Thanks, Hibbie! When I was looking last year, I ran into a lot of the "frustrated subs" that had the expectations HBS mentioned. Even though I'm open to a LTR without power exchange, and I've played casually, I still need to connect at least as friends, and have interesting conversations, go do fun stuff together occasionally, and generally connect as people. Yes, it got a little frustrating and confusing that relatively few submissive men were able to offer what I wanted. There were a few who did, and since I'm a switch, I also went ahead and dated other switches and Dominant men, who were more likely to actually want to and be capable of connecting with me as a person. It's not that all submissive men have that attitude, just that the percentages ran very strongly that way. If you didn't count the one-liners or people who contacted me from out of state, about 90% of the Dominant and switch guys wrote interesting, literate, personal notes when they contacted me initially, compared to maybe 15% of the submissive men. I've been talking with two submissive men lately who are very interesting, intelligent, and seem to have a great sense of humour, so they are out there. [;)]
HBS, some men are simply undateable, regardless of orientation. I doubt many submissive or vanilla women would put up with someone who treats her like a blow-up doll, either. It's not that there aren't any tops or switches here who are open to someone without power exchange, although the percentages are shifted considerably in that direction compared to say, FetLife. From what I can tell, there's much more skew toward power dynamics on the forums than on the personals side.
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