RE: The "do-me" sub!!!

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RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/3/2010 9:04:10 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Do you think a submissive, by your criteria can be a "do-me" and a real submissive at the same time? I am just thinking that in certain situations I may want to be "topped" the way I wanna be by a certain person, but then turn around and want to submit to another...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to attendedone)

Post #: 101

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/3/2010 11:34:31 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
I can see where you are coming from, but speaking as a female dominant who gets the do-me subs, the insanely inappropriate emails, etc, I think it's really important to get the deal breakers out of the way before the first email. NO I do not want you if you are under 30. NO I do not want you if you are more than an hour's drive away. NO I do not want you if you are married and I cannot communicate with your spouse. These are big deals to me. Yes, I acknowledge that I might be bypassing someone great. Hey, if you are an hour and a half away... let's talk! Having basic "standards" doesn't make me selfish, it means that I know what I NEED and what I want, and at this point of my life, I know where I cannot effectively compromise.

I get this.... I also admit that I could not deal with the Bullshit that Domme's and femsubs get from this site.... There most certainly is a double standard.

That being said no one thing will apply to everyone.

My Philosophy is based on my reality. I will openly admit my reality is not everyone else's.

QSM

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"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 102

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/4/2010 3:47:37 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

it seems to me that a do-me person would be one that is bottoming from the top too

everybody should be selfish enough to get their own needs and also their partner's needs met, it makes for good living
there should be give and take, it is the trick to get the balance right

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 103

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/4/2010 4:03:32 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

i always thought that a 'do me' sub was someone who wanted it all their own way and when the D says 'no' the sub runs away distraught accusing him of being an abusive, selfish bastard.

i think that most of us turn up with a certain amount of 'do me' involved. the trick is then to settle down and grow up, realise that a relationship only works if both people are enjoying themselves.

ive had to point out to one or two guys that i need to have some fun too - so what about the 'do me'. Doms - theres even more of those swanning around.under the misconception that it is all about them.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to attendedone)

Post #: 104

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/4/2010 4:15:42 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

Oh no, don't you dare start poking at the dominants, lally!

Attendedone, good post, and thanks for the agreement.

Julia, IMO, yes, you can have a do-me that is also a genuine submissive in the same person.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 105

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/4/2010 4:38:53 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Oh no, don't you dare start poking at the dominants, lally!

- worth a try at least -

thought it was a good point tho)) - shuffles off quietly

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 106

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/4/2010 5:13:54 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Oh no, don't you dare start poking at the dominants, lally!

- worth a try at least -

thought it was a good point tho)) - shuffles off quietly

It was a good point, beautiful one. Good enough for a thread of its own....

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 107

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/4/2010 8:31:30 AM

attendedone

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/24/2010
Status: offline

Julia-
That is a good question. I think we have many different approaches. I am sometimes dominant in the bedroom and during others, I prefer to be more laid back.

I think the question about being a real submissive would come if the dominant made a request and the submissive made a choice to not comply on a whim or something.

If I am reading you right though you are asking if you had different interests at different times or with different people, would that negate your connection to submissiveness. I don't think that would be necessarily so. But, it could be if your natural tendency was to lead.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 108

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/4/2010 9:17:46 AM

frazzle

Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline

FR

Love all the comments on this thread, wether in agreement or not.

To me if its a play session, the "do-me" is accepted. If its a relationship we agree to "do" each other, or it wont work.

Communication and Compatibility.

(in reply to attendedone)

Post #: 109

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/4/2010 9:31:17 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

FR

Love all the comments on this thread, wether in agreement or not.

To me if its a play session, the "do-me" is accepted. If its a relationship we agree to "do" each other, or it wont work.

Communication and Compatibility.

I think that might be gendered, meaning our male counterparts don't get to have that do-me attitude during casual play....

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to frazzle)

Post #: 110

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/4/2010 9:41:27 AM

frazzle

Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline

smiles Ive never found that, maybe i choose play partners on the basis we both have to get something out of it.

We chat about what we both want and make sure the session leaves us both happy. (ok i only "play" with ex's that know me well)

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 111

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/4/2010 9:43:44 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Just have fun, and remember, if you are in the email stage and they are already trying to find ways to undermine you by picking on your profile, etc, that is a red flag that they are just a weirdo anyways

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to frazzle)

Post #: 112

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/4/2010 9:46:35 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

Dont all of us looking for a relationship, have the right to get what we want out of a relationship?

No....you have the opportunity....not the right.....gotta earn it.....

You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours and all that.....

Now assuming the woman is balanced.....tells it how she sees it from the off.....and abides by the rules......then yes...... of course....you can expect 'to get what you want from the relationship'. And....where it doesn't unravel in the expected course...then it's time to move on.

It's nice to be nice..and that will earn you a reciprocal exchange of niceities!

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to frazzle)

Post #: 113

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/5/2010 4:16:10 PM

TheLadyIsADomme

Posts: 89
Joined: 4/10/2009
From: Florida
Status: offline

FR

For me, it's a question of selfishness or self-centeredness. Everyone enters into a relationship, no matter what sort, with needs. Having those needs met, and how, is the cornerstone of a good relationship.

_____________________________

Warmly,
LD

(in reply to NorthernGent)

Post #: 114

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/5/2010 5:02:02 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

I think the question about being a real submissive would come if the dominant made a request and the submissive made a choice to not comply on a whim or something.

But that would depend on the request wouldn't it

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The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

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(in reply to attendedone)

Post #: 115

RE: The "do-me" sub!!! - 7/5/2010 6:08:26 PM

thornhappy

Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline

Hey folks, I'm a bottom but am not an "it's all about me" type. I'm not a sub either.

Like sunshine, I'm some custom blend of spices.

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Fair enough zeph, but why should I? (or anyone). Why should I be defined by a label? If I could remove the "submissive" label from my CM profile, I would. I don't like it. I don't want it. I totally rebel against it, but I don't have a lot of other options. And I don't want to be seen as purely my sexual desire (which by the way is only there some of the time). Why would people be admonished to define themselves as a tiny part of who they are? I don't see us telling gay men to put down if they are a pitcher or a catcher.

I want a vanilla bean... with a bit of hot tamale... and honey for the sweetness. yup. Kind of a weird combo, eh?

Because unfortunately these labels are the closest thing we have to defining what we are and what we are looking for. I know what you mean and I agree 100% but bottom imo comes closer to describing what these people are looking for since their profile is all about them and what they want and don't have a single word about what they can offer in return.

Yeaaaah your combo just gave me a touch of heartburn lol *smooches*

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 116

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